A/N: This is set in season 4, after the attack on the prison.
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Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray to God my soul to take.
Maintaining a clear sense of time was difficult after the sun went down.
She was sure it had to be well past midnight. Daryl had already passed out, and who could blame him? He carried most of the weight between the two of them; but she was doing her best to keep learning and to keep growing stronger. Eventually she'd be able to pull her own weight and no one would have to worry about protecting her. She'd be able to stand on her own two feet; but until that day came she would stick with the people who were willing to protect her and whom she was willing to protect. Luckily for her, she had more than just a few people who fell under that category. She was truly blessed.
Her eyes were beginning to grow heavy and she knew she should get some sleep soon. Sleep was imperative in a world that constantly threw a myriad of physically demanding obstacles in everyone's path.
Sleep, however, was evading her. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw Maggie. Every night without her got worse and she was beginning to grow more and more restless. She hadn't told Daryl, especially since he seemed to be set on reminding her that Maggie was probably dead. Beth refused to believe that. Her sister was the type of woman she strived to one day become. She didn't need anyone to look out for her. She was strong and smart and resourceful and she could take care of herself. Beth had to keep believing that she was alive and out there somewhere. Hopefully safe.
She silently wondered if God still answered prayers.
Quietly, she slid off of the bed she had claimed and she moved to kneel on the hard, wooden floor. It had been far too long since she'd done this last and it almost seemed silly at this point; but desperate times called for desperate measures.
Fingers delicately threaded together, she carefully rested her elbows on the mattress. She flinched a bit when it creaked under the light weight, but Daryl was a pretty heavy sleeper. As long as she didn't knock anything over or yell, he'd probably stay asleep. This comfort in mind, she lowered her head down so that her forehead sat against her clasped hands. She drew in a deep, steadying breath. The prospect of talking to God again after so long made her nervous.
"It's been while since I've talked to you," she spoke in a very low voice, just above a whisper. "Mostly 'cause I don't even know anymore if you actually exist." Growing up she was always taught that honesty was the best policy when it came to speaking with God. He'd know if you were lying anyway, her dad had always told her. "If you are out there, please watch over Maggie. Please protect her." She hesitated, a lump beginning to form in her throat. "You already took my mama, and Shawn and Arnold..." She paused again, attempting not to get emotional; but it was a futile attempt. "You even took my daddy."
Her lower lip quivered and she felt tears spring into her eyes. That was only counting family. There was also Jimmy and Zach, and countless others they had all lost.
Aggravation began to seep in and she felt one hot, angry tear slide down her face. And then another, until she couldn't stop them.
"Considerin' our track record I shouldn't trust you. But other than Daryl, you're all I got."
She drew in a shaky breath.
"I just want you to keep Maggie safe. And Glenn. And Rick, and little Judith, and Carl. Michonne."
She stole a glance behind her to make sure Daryl hadn't woken up. If he caught her like this she'd never hear the end of it. She took a moment to quickly wipe at her eyes before she returned to her previous stance.
"And Daryl," she rounded out her list. "After everything you've put us all through... I think we deserve it. Please."
She didn't end with an 'amen.' Instead she stood up, crawled back into bed, and closed her eyes. Her cheeks were still wet with tears and her heart ached to be reunited with Maggie, but she could take comfort in the fact she felt sleep quickly approaching.
