Disclaimer: I don't own any of this.
A/N: After watching the first episode of this amazing series, I just felt the need to write this. Call it a way of dealing with what I saw. I know I can't accurately describe something like this, but I did my best.
The Day that Everything Changed
Every day, the world changes, in big ways and small, in bad ways and good, whether we want it to or not. I was unfortunate enough to experience that brutal truth firsthand. Even today, I can remember that moment as if it happened yesterday, an hour ago, or even a single minute. Sometimes, in vague flashes, whether I'm asleep or awake, I can see, hear, and feel everything that happened. It may have been long ago, but it will always remain branded in my memory, a burden for me to bear alone, since I alone witnessed it. It inspired the passion that burns within me now and will remain burning until I breathe my last breath. It was the day that everyone's lives, but most of all, mine, were changed forever.
I was only ten years old at the time, but I guessed I'd grown up more than most did at that age. All I knew was that there was more to the world we lived in than the "world" we lived in. By that I mean a mostly unknown world beyond the fifty-meter walls that guarded us. The only things that kept us from satisfying our natural curiosities, mostly mine, were "them." I can't even say the word sometimes. It feels like a cuss-word, it's become so unholy to me now. But they had removed us from our place in the food chain, trapping us to our fear to the point where we physically trapped ourselves, like cattle, livestock, the animals we'd pretty much become. They may have look human, but they're anything but. Witness what they prefer for their diet and you'll see why.
But that day, the moment we heard the explosions, and saw that hole in the previously impenetrable walls, along with a veiny, greedy hand that looked way too big, we all knew for sure that instead of us searching for the world, it decided to search for us. And it found us completely vulnerable to the predators that soon enough made their way in, eager to fill themselves with human bones and guts. I almost didn't believe it at the time, until I heard Armin's words ("H-He...made a hole in the wall..."), and finally saw what had not been seen inside the walls for a hundred years. A T****.
As several more made their way in, everyone around us went berserk. I can still hear, ringing in my ears, the cries of those thousands of people, knowing that their end might soon be upon them. I remember the blurring shadows that rushed past me, Armin, and Misaka. But at that moment, there was only one thing I could think of. Not the frightened awe of seeing them for the first time in my life, not fear for my own survival. There was only one thing I knew for sure, and it drove me forward in the opposite direction everyone was running.
"My house is over there..." I said, "Mom is..." That's right, I was headed toward my house, where my Mom was all alone. I had to get to her and then get us all out of here. Without waiting for Armin or Mikasa to help me, I broke into the fastest run I could force my legs to do. I can't remember a time when a trip back to my house took so long. With every step, I could feel the sweat trickle down all sides of my face, my heart threaten to break through my chest, and my pulse threaten to go off the scale. There was no way I was gonna leave Mom alone ever again after this.
"Our house is definitely safe," I said to myself, after just thinking it proved to be too hard, "Once I make the turn here, our house will be there like always!" Eventually, I noticed that Mikasa had caught up with me, but there was no way I was slowing down to let her get ahead of me. Especially not after the sight of our house having fallen in a pile of brick, wood, and rubble made my heart nearly stop. Now I had to get there more than ever. Nothing was gonna stop me. And nothing was gonna stop us from getting out of here as soon as I met up with her. Nothing...
"Mom!" I shouted as loud as I could, "Mom!" I rushed up the steps even faster than I ran before, and I nearly tripped when I saw my mom pinned down under the broken roof of the fallen house. And even though I felt some relief at seeing her eyes open, and hearing her voice say my name, my resolve all the more strengthened. I may have been only ten, but leaving Mom where she was was the furthest thing from my mind. If the wood had been metal, it wouldn't have mattered. I would have tried to get her out if it was the heaviest material in the world.
"Mikasa, grab that side," I urged her, "We need to move this pillar." Without waiting for her, I gripped the roof with both hands, grit my teeth, and pulled hard. But it seemed that no matter how much effort I gave it, it wouldn't budge. And what made it all the more worse were the rumbles I felt and heard at that moment. I looked up, and my eyes widened when I saw that there were two of them only a few blocks from our house, and there was another that was even closer. And it looked like there was only one thing on all three of their minds. But no matter what, I wasn't leaving her.
"Hurry Mikasa!" I demanded. Whatever she said back, I didn't hear. I just pulled all the more harder, all the more determined.
"The Titans are coming in," I then heard Mom say, almost as if from far away. She then said the one thing I was in no way about to hear. "Eren, take Mikasa and run. Hurry!"
Though my teeth were gritting to the point of hurting, and I could feel my hands becoming bloodied and splintered, I only shouted back, "I want to run too! Hurry up and get out!"
"My legs have been crushed by the debris," Mom said, "I can't run even if I get out. Do you understand?" But I didn't listen. I didn't care what the odds were. And I made sure she knew it too.
"I'll carry you and run!" I screamed, my eyes now moist with tears, blurring my vision. I couldn't believe I was hearing this from my mom's mouth of all people.
"Why can't you just listen to what I say for once?!" she screamed back, clearly having none of it, "Please just listen to me! Just one last time! Mikasa!"
I briefly looked at my foster-sister, and saw that tears had filled her eyes as well. With that one glance I knew what was going through her mind, and that she agreed with me. She wasn't about to lose another mother, especially not at the hands of these monsters, one of them was now getting close to our house.
"No... No!" Mikasa shook her head while I continued to pull on the roof, still wanting to get my mom out of harm's way.
Though my eyes were then closed, I knew she was getting tearful too, just from the sound of her voice. "At this rate, all three of us will..."
But before she could finish, and before I could say anything else, I heard the sound of a zipline, and I didn't have to look behind to know who it was.
"Hannes!" Mom cried out. As I continued to pull, I heard him run up to her behind me, and heard Mom give him an order like the one she'd given me. One I did not want to hear again.
"Don't take me lightly, Carla," he tried to assure her in a way that made me want to punch him. Was this guy blind and deaf? But then, he said words I thought I'd never hear from his lips, "I'll kill the Titan and save all three of you." Though I kept pulling, my eyes flashed open briefly in amazement. Was he actually going to finally do what he'd been trained to do?
"Wait!" Mom suddenly shouted as he ran off, "You can't fight it!" And I didn't know whether or not I agreed with her. I just knew as much as I did moments ago that I had to get her and Mikasa out of here. Even with time running out and the monster getting all the more closer to us, I just kept pulling on the roof until I thought my hands, and then my arms, might fall off.
But right then, just when I thought they might, I felt myself being lifted off the ground and over someone's back. And I immediately knew whose. My heart pounded into overdrive and I quickly started fighting back. "Hey, Hannes! What the hell are you doing!"
But none of it seemed to matter. As soon as he grabbed Mikasa up too, Hannes carried us away like we were ragdolls, away from the house. Away from my mom. I fought even harder, kicking my legs and scratching the empty air in front of me, trying to at least touch Mom's hand again. But I wasn't even given that chance. All I could do was scream at the top of my lungs, as if that alone might save her. "Mom is still trapped in there!" I shouted as I stretched my hand out, desperate to go back. My eyes froze on Mom as she too stretched her arm out toward me, her eyes as flooded with tears as my own now were.
"Eren! Mikasa!" she cried out the loudest I'd ever heard her, "Live on!" And that...that was the last time I ever heard her voice, one that I still wish to hear. But it wouldn't be the last time I saw her.
When we were only a few yards away from the house, I gasped in horror as that monster finally made it to the spot, bent down, dug through the rubble like a kid digging through sand, and then pulled out my mother with its meaty, greedy hands. Immediately, my heart lept to my throat, and I cried out as if I only had one last breath to use. "STOOOOOOPPPPPP!"
Even as I watched with terror the horror that was happening right in front of me, I knew I could turn away, but I didn't. My eyes remained locked on the scene that unfolded like the most surreal of nightmares. My mom was about to die. And she was about to die a violent and lonely death. I watched in the most helpless state I'd ever been in as I saw her try to fight the humanoid. And my sense of horror was sent to the nth degree as it took her in both hands, and broke her body in half, the resounding crack reaching my ears even where I was, making me gasp again.
But even then, I didn't look away. Even from my position, I saw that she was hanging on the side, and her eyes were closed in unconsciousness. I continued to watch with a gaping mouth and wide, disbelieving eyes, struck with more terror and devastation than I'd ever been in my life, more than I ever thought I could feel. The monster opened it's mouth, slowly put her in, and then, chomped down on my mother...
And like liquid fireworks, thousands of drops of red suddenly rained down all around us. But as I still looked forward, even as I felt some of my mother's blood, my own blood, hit my face, even as that monster of monsters finally swallowed her remains. All I could do was stare like a lobotomized zombie at the nightmare that had been realized right before my eyes. All I knew was that I would remember this day for the rest of my life, I would remember this moment for the rest of my life. The one where part of my being, part of my soul, died along with my mom. The one where I, along with the rest of humanity, declared war on those inhuman creatures. And it was a war I was more than prepared to join, one where we would fight to the last man standing. Never again would I let something like this happen. Never again would we be cattle. Never again. Never, ever, again...
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