WARNING. IF YOU LIKE TWILIGHT, DO NOT CONTINUE!
This takes place after New Moon. I have no intention of it being great English or there being a good plot. I just felt like writing this.
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight. If I did, well, let's say I'd probably hang myself in shame.
Once upon a time there was a fairy (who got dropped when he was a baby and thinks that he is a vampire, although I have no idea where he got that idea seeing as he is nowhere near hot enough to be a vampire. Anywayz, let's continue) called Edward. He lived in a family of fairy/vampires in the dreary town of Forks. He had a human girlfriend called Bella. She was a big klutz so Edward decided to lock her up in the winter so she wouldn't fall over on the ice or nearly get crushed by a car in the school parking lot… again.
On the first day of winter, Edward dragged Bella down the stairs and into the basement of the three story mansion where they live. When they got down the last stair, there was an earthquake that split through the house, opening up the ground. Edward was too close to the edge and fell down onto a heap of spikes that pierced him through the heart and cut him into pieces which fell into lava that set them on fire, coincidentally the only things that can kill vampires. Bella watched the whole thing and was very upset so she jumped in after him.
The next day, the local werewolf, Jacob Black (who hates Edward but loves Bella even though she does not deserve such godly hotness) found out about their deaths and cried for Bella then just as quickly moved on and got a life.
Meanwhile…
The Volturi in Italy gathered around in the throne room with a fairy/vampire (man there are a lot of these things) with the power to conjure natural disasters producing a small earthquake located in Forks. Once finished, another fairy/vampire with the ability to see certain people where ever they are in the world saw Edward's and Bella's deaths. The Volturi then got out the old disco balls and DJ turntables and had a full blown party with alcohol and spin the bottle and twister and everyone got smashed and passed out.
The end.
This was just a quick thing I came up with because I am in even a more Twilight hating mood than I am in usually.
Please no negative feedback. It was just a little bit of fun and i am sorry if you get offended but i did warn you. It was your fault that you ignored it.
You can review if you want but I don't really care. It just makes me feel special when I get lots of emails saying someone has reviewed.