I don't own iCarly or the characters mentioned, this is just based on a weird joke. Please don't take any offense to it. Thanks, Steph.
There was a time when I thought everything had gone wrong. No, I didn't date and then break up with Carly. No, I didn't tell my mom that I had fallen in love with Sam. My mom didn't even make me start wearing anti-bacterial underwear again. All I wanted to do was get a machine for a new bit on iCarly, one that might transport either Sam or Carly to somewhere else in the room. Hey, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I figured it would probably be okay to try it out for myself, me as the guinea pig. Everything was going just fine, I don't even know how it happened, but suddenly I was looking at myself. Another Freddie, another me, someone dressed the exact same way. I couldn't help but flip out. It was like looking in a mirror, only tangible.
I reached out to touch, eh, myself and I liked the way I felt in my hands, the soft cotton teal polo, the smooth contours of my chest and abs. Knowing something wasn't right about the way I felt, I retreated nervously.
"Don't stop now!" I heard myself, well my other self, say.
"Oh… um… okay? Why not?"
"It felt really nice, I really liked it."
Where was all this stuff coming from? He is me, I am him. None of this makes sense, but both of us kinda like this feeling, whatever it really is. I was a little apprehensive about liking the way that he, well, I felt, so I figured my, uh, clone must feel the same way. I could feel my body tense up; confused by my emotions. But I can assume he likes me since he didn't want me to stop touching him.
I kinda wanted to touch him, but I was iCarly studio and who knows who could walk in. I told "Fred-clone" that I was going to head to my, our, house and if he wanted to come over he could, but to wait a while and come home after about ten minutes to not arouse any possible suspicion. Although only Spencer was home at the time, I knew Carly or Sam could walk in and any moment. But alone, he probably wouldn't even notice, I mean really, he's Spencer after all.
I left my door unlocked for him to come inside. I probably could have just let him in using the code my mom had set up, except I have no clue what the chiz it is. But (luckily) my mom is at one of those Aggressive Parenting conferences, so if something weird was to go on, there won't be any chance of her walking in on "us".
Something isn't quite right, was I kinda excited about something maybe happening? None of this makes any sense; I don't understand how I could feel this way about a dude (as a little more than a friend), never mind about myself… I'm in love with Sam, at least I was pretty sure about that, but now I don't have a clue.
I can't believe I keep thinking about how I'm in love with Sam, but I am. Oh how just a few years can change someone…
After about twenty minutes, "Fred-clone" walked in and he locked the door behind him. I sensed some urgency in his actions, and got a little nervous. He had the most intense look on his face, a look I had only seen on Sam when she was about to do something malicious. What kind of look is it anyway? Is it a look of desire, a look of anger, of hatred? I don't know but he was coming closer to me with that indescribable look on his face. He wanted something from me. I just kept backing up as he came closer to me, nearly walking into a bunch of furniture.
"Wh-what do you want? Why are you looking at me like that?" I stuttered as I tried to avoid much eye contact and any furniture in my way.
"What do I want? I want you Freddie. I want to touch you, to kiss your bare skin, to taste you."
Taste me? What the heck? What did he mean by taste me? Do I want to know?
One thing I did know was where we were headed for, my bedroom. Now I know what he wanted. Let me guess, he was just gonna start off by kissing me, then, well what Carly was probably going to do to me if my mom hadn't came home and saw me and her. I don't even like thinking about that, or the word that goes along with it.
Part of me to bolt, but there was another part of me that wanted to stay and wait it out. I've lead a pretty lackluster life so far and I want some adventure. I know there probably isn't hope for me and Sam, but maybe this might change her mind.
I must have dozed off or daydreamed or something, because suddenly, "Fred-clone" had his body pressed against mine, with my back bending and his face nearing my own. The heat between our bodies was almost unbearable, in the good way. The good way? Where is my head at? It's like he is controlling me.
"Give in to me Freddie. You know you want it. Do you think Sam is gonna give it up to you? Think about that one. Samantha Puckett, unlikely. But I'm here right now, for you and only you. Come Freddie, give in."
With these tantalizing words I felt my body grab a hold of "Fred-clone" and throw him onto the bed, my body on top of him. A jolt passed through my body, I knew what I wanted to do now, and I knew I was gonna get it.
Hastily, I ripped off his shirt and he, mine. I saw the chicken pox scar on his left shoulder and looked at mine.
But upon looking at that scar I thought to myself, my actual self, not my clone, that this is going way too fast. I had to say something before my clone like, raped me. Yeah that's how it is.
"Wait. Stop. I don't like this as much as you do. I just don't think that we should do anything before we get to know eachother… in a sense."
"Oh no? You don't like this? Come on Freddie, I can tell you do. I don't like the idea of giving in so quickly, but I guess we could 'get to know eachother' as you say. Why do you even say that? I think you know me pretty well. I am pretty much you after all." He said trying to intimidate me.
"It's just that," I took a deep breath, "you seem a lot different than how I usually am. You look like me and sort of talk like me, but you are way more, well, aggressive."
"If I was too intense for you, you should have told me earlier. Ha. But I'm no more aggressive than what you would like to be. Let's try this thing out, let's go on say, a date so I can explain myself."
"Oh, yeah, sure. But we look identical. Wouldn't that be a little awkward? I can't think of anywhere it could be." I managed to choke out.
And just about here was where I thought everything had gone wrong. First, I had managed to somehow clone myself. Then he basically said we were meant to be together, not meaning Sam and me. And I kinda liked that possibility no matter how wrong I felt it is, I mean, it is like some sort of incest… kinda.
"I never said we had to go somewhere, just on a date. It could be here, or on the fire escape, or wherever."
"The fire escape? Where Sam and I first kissed? I suppose that could work. It's not exactly romantic, but we can make it work." A big smile crept across my face and these words left my lips. And awkward smile, a nervous smile.
"Then let's go for it. Meet me out there at say, 6:30. I'm gonna prepare something awesome."
"But that's when the iCarly rehearsal is. I can't bail on that tonight. What about tomorrow?"
"Probably, I have nothing better to do, seeing as you want to keep me trapped up in here to eliminate suspicions. Or…"
"Or what?" And now I was completely puzzled.
"Or I could pose as you to do all the camera work and stuff, seeing as I know all the ropes, and then on break, I'll set something up on the fire escape. The plan is flawless."
I could see "Fred-clone"'s plan working, but I the breaks aren't all that long, I don't see how he will be able to set something up for tonight in that time. And how he could get away with saying that he couldn't stay and chill afterwards because he and I have a date, at least without giving the location and who it was with away. And he is way more aggressive than me; I didn't want to see what he might do. He might actually hit on Sam or not let her dish out her regular insults and crap. But he could probably deal with her.
"Yo Fredwad, what up with your hair? You look less like a nub like that. You're still a nub, but you don't look like one as much."
"Yeah Freddie, you seem kinda different today, is everything alright?" Carly said in an uninterested voice.
"I just have a date tonight and I just want to look hot. What do you think? I'm a little nervous so let's just run through the show."
"Wait. You have a date? Why would any girl agree to have a date with you…?"
I stood there awkwardly, surprisingly unsure of my next words. A girl, she had to say a girl. I knew she sensed my awkwardness when a smirk crawled across her face.
"It's not with a girl, is it? Haha I knew it…" Carly cut her off with "I'm gonna leave now…" and she snuck out of the room.
"What's his name? I won't tell anyone" She related, giggling.
I grabbed her shirt by the collar, and said as intimidating as I could, "His name is Freddie. And you don't want to tell anyone. I know your weaknesses."
"My weaknesses? Then explain them to me, because I can't name any. And that's really sketchy, dating someone with the same name as you."
"Name any, or say any? I know you like me, it's pretty obvious. Don't try to hide it from yourself or me. I know that's the truth. And that's why you won't tell anyone because your weakness is me. And you'll never have a chance with me if you say a word of this to anyone."
"Dude, that is so unlike you. Where is Fredlumps? You aren't him at all. And you don't scare me."
She didn't deny that she likes me; I've got to tell Freddie this. Hahaha.
"Did you notice what you didn't say just then?"
"What that I don't like you? Yeah, that's because I do." Her eyes sparkled when she said that, I knew she was telling the truth this time.
My eyes grew huge; did Sam really just admit that? Oh my god I have to tell Freddie this…
"Well I don't think there is really any point in rehearsing iCarly today, have fun on your little date…"
And with that statement, I was off to the fire escape to set up the little "date" with Freddie.
Enough time had gone by that I figured the iCarly rehearsal was over, so I knew it was safe to head over to the fire escape where "Fred-clone" set us or is setting up our little date. And there he was, sitting against a little table for two, soft music in the back ground, and the smell of pizza wafting my direction. I don't know how he did it, but hey, this wasn't half bad! It was actually really sweet.
"Come. Sit. Let's have some pizza." he said like the dad I never had, except he was me, not my dad. "I have something to tell you about Sam."
Uh oh… he mentioned Sam. This can't be good.
"Well first, I'm gonna tell you a bit about myself, yourself as well. I'm your more sensual side, if you hadn't noticed, the side that you just are afraid to bring out. I don't see why, you already seem to have a way with the ladies." I blushed, but started dozing off. "I'm nothing that you are not. I'm just bogged down by all your nerdiness. Try letting it out sometime. And about Sam…" I perked back up hearing her name. "Well now I think she thinks you/me are gay, but other than that she does like you. You gotta convince her you like her back, but that might be difficult now."
It would be my dream come true to date Sam, but now that I understand where "Fred-clone" (I have to think of another name for him) is coming from, and it's really attractive.
He tugged my chair closer to him and said to me "Well now that that's out of the way…" and kissed me, I kissed him back and before we knew it, it became an intense make out session.
"Ok, now we better go inside, anyone can see out here." I said when I got the chance to breathe. And that was just what we did. But once we got inside, the mood changed, I wanted him more, but he seemed to want me less.
"What's wrong, I thought you wanted me?"
"Well, I do. But I want Sam more."
And just like that, he was gone. And now I had an intense urge to go tell Sam how I felt about her. He got what he wanted; he was inside of me now. Hopefully there to stay, but I will definitely miss his touch and the way he felt as I rubbed his body. I know what I have to do now.