Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek. If I did, I'd have a helluva lot more money than I do now.
A/N: I wrote a drabblish thing for some prompt I saw on tumblr and thought I'd put it up here. Drabble, it's short for a reason. I write short things most of the time. Don't like, don't read. Very heavy suggestion of Spirk, though could just be read as strong friendship.
Prompt: star trek au where jim didn't get resurrected and spock prime went to his funeral.
The funeral was a sordid affair, full of people who knew him and who didn't and who'd wanted to. It passed by slowly, yet more quickly than anything else ever had for the crew of the Enterprise. Especially for those who knew him the best was it the worst. Halfway through the ceremony, Spock had to leave or risk being overcome by the emotion he didn't want to allow himself to show. He was gasping for air, leaning against a wall, his normally stiff posture all but gone. Jim was gone. He almost couldn't believe it, but it was illogical to hold any sort of false hope. Repetition, too, was illogical, but he couldn't help the words floating through his head. Jim is gone.
Spock looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder, not unlike the light touches Jim used to bestow on him no matter how many times he threatened him.
No words were exchanged, as Spock looked up into the face of his elder version. Etched deep into his features was an extreme sadness, one that encompassed years, decades.
Spock Prime eventually took his hand away, but he stayed by his younger self, trying to steel himself to say something. Anything.
"He would not have wanted you to feel this," he said at last, and Spock looked up at him again, the closest thing to a glare he got to in his eyes.
"He is not here. He is gone. Why are you here?" The last question fell unbidden from his lips, but he did not make any attempt to retract it.
"You are not the only one who felt a connection to him," Spock Prime said after a few moments of heavy silence. This Jim was the only person who had reminded him of his own, and now that he was gone, he felt more alone in this time than he ever had before.
Spock opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it again, trying to understand. And then he looked down. "A apologise," he said quietly. "I spoke in anger. Forgive me."
Spock Prime let a small, sad smile show on his features. "You are me," he said simply. "How could I not?"
Spock gave a small nod, his throat once again closing with grief as his mind wandered back to the ceremony. Spock Prime watched him carefully, and suddenly Spock looked up at him again.
"When you were… In your own time, did you have a connection with him?" he asked, his voice very quiet. Spock Prime didn't respond for a moment, and then he met and held Spock's gaze.
"I did. I will miss your Jim just as I miss my own."
The two stood there for a few minutes more, and then Spock turned to go back into the ceremony. Spock Prime followed him silently, head bowed.