A/N: Just a series of hopefully humorous, short chapters, all probably a little under 1000 words, about how people found out about the relationship. I don't know how often I'll update, whenever im in a jokey mood I'll probably write another one. Anyone guess who the next one'll be of?

Words: 800+

Warnings: much fainting, bad language, and malexmale relationship - very light slash

Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me, and this disclaimer will not be repeated.

Finding Out

Chapter One: The Reasonable Man

Severus Snape considered himself to be a reasonable man. Some may have accused him of being cruel, many had in fact, but every so-called cruel act he had ever participated in had always had a reason. He felt discipline was needed rather strongly, true, and he considered rules more as binding laws but he was still a reasonable man. He thought certain lines must be drawn and he would happily go to any lengths to ensure that these lines were never crossed. He was often taunted about his appearance and he was usually shunned for his snide manner but he heeded no mind to these inconveniences as any reasonable man would. But some lines just should not be crossed.

Therefore, as you would imagine in the case of any caring Godfather, when Severus Snape, the ever reasonable man, walked into his godson's room to find said teenager in a rather intimate position on his leather couch, his reaction of falling into a dead faint was rather reasonable.

It wasn't until later that Severus Snape even bothered to find out who his godson's 'bed' partner was, the result being that he found himself, once again, in a dead faint. The conversation leading up to the aforementioned conclusion went something along these lines.

"I think your father would prefer you to be a little more discrete where your sexual wonderings are concerned, Draco." Snape said as he slid behind his desk and shuffled a few papers that were not stacked to his approval.

"I was in my own, private room. Is that not discrete enough?" The blonde teenager asked as he perched himself on the chair opposite his head of house. It is to be noted here that said chair was the closest to the door/escape.

"Perhaps a locking charm would not go amiss next time. It is always best to plan ahead. Never leave any openings for possible enemies." Snape lowered his voice almost to a murmur and looked at his student threateningly over his entwined fingers.

"Who in their right mind would use my sexual experimentations against me? I freely express my sexuality." Of course, this was Draco's polite way of stating that he had bedded at least half of the student body and that he was proud of this feat.

"Potter's name springs to mind. I shall warn you now that your father would not be pleased if news of your experimentations, as you put it, reached the Profit."

"Potter would never dare. I have too much I could use against him."

"Oh, and would you care to enlighten me?"

"Not particularly, Professor, no." Translated: 'I've put sweat and blood into finding out those secrets so you can bloody well do the same.'

"I see. Well just beware certain threats, Draco."

"I wouldn't worry, sir, Potter certainly wouldn't dare spread anything about me as he'll suffer greatly as well. Is that all, Professor?" Severus Snape had known his godson, Draco Malfoy, since birth. During the long years he had spent with the boy as he grew up, the potions master had learnt to read the child. Right now he was reading into the slight tightening in the outer corner of his eyes and the pursing of the lips, his godson had just revealed something he though better left unknown.

"Was there anything you wished to tell me, Draco?" He asked, leaning forward, attempting to add a scarily Dumbledore-ish glint to his eyes.

"No, sir." Draco shot back in his chair and turned slightly towards the door.

"Fine, was there anything you did not wish to tell me?" Severus Snape was now leaning so far from his seat that he was almost standing.

"N-no, sir." Draco was beginning to crack…Snape smirked.

"Who was that in your room with you?"

"…Pansy." The slight flicker of his eyes to the floor gave him away.

"No it wasn't."

"…Blaise." And again the flicker.

"No, I don't think it was someone from Slytherin. A Ravenclaw perhaps."

"Lovegood?" It was spoken as a question, Snape sneered down at his godson and stood to his full height.

"Maybe not a Ravenclaw either then. Although it seems unlikely, a Gryffindor then, as I know you would never chose a Hufflepuff."

"…Brown.?" Flick.

"No."

"…Patil?" Flick

"No."

"…Finnegan?" Flick

"No."

"…Grang…" Draco's face paled. "…Weasl…" He made a disgusted face and turned an ugly olive colour.

"Do we really need to go through every child in the school, Draco, you're acting like a petulant child. Who was it?" His godson dropped his chin and mumbled something so low he doubted even the floor tiles would have heard. "Speak up, boy."

Draco Malfoy had planned this moment in his head many times. He executed it perfectly.

"POTTER!" He shouted into his godfather's face, knocking him back. He then did what any true Slytherin would do with the ever present self-preservation characteristic.

He bolted for the door and ran.

And Severus Snape, the ever reasonable man, fell back on his chair in a dead faint.

R&R for continuation

Dark Raven 4426