One deal at a time
It is in our favorite hidden village that we find a six year old blonde trapped in a dead-end alley. Between him and the only exit is just one little thing… a drunken, rage filled mob. Unlike the usual ones however, this one is special. As in HUGE!
This mob ranged from civilians and children following their parents, up to jounin and the occasional drunken AMBU. Many of whom are drunk, pissed, and out for blood. All of this is because Naruto is the baby that was born on the night that the kyuubi attacked.
Because of this these idiots think that A. that he is the kyuubi in human form. B. that he stole their prized fourth's life. And C. that if he dies so does the kyuubi. And so as Naruto was beaten, pelted with rocks, glass bottles, had dozens of kunai and shuriken dig into his soft and tender flesh, Naruto did the only thing he was able to do. He screamed, and begged for his attackers to stop. All the while asking himself why they were doing this.
But as his pleas landed on deaf ears, some of the ANBU stationed on guard came towards the screams and many of them watched in enjoyment as Naruto was beaten, stabbed, and nearly bled to death. But as the other ANBU watched the 'exorcism' with glee, a certain weasel faced ANBU dropped down in front of the mob just as they kicked Naruto further into the alley.
"Itachi what are you doing?!" a heavily buzzed uchiha yelled/slurred. "I will not allow you kill Naruto." The weasel masked ANBU said while giving them a very high dosage of killing intent. Witch dropped some of the jounin and all of the chuunin and civilians to witch a frightened ANBU yelled out "What are you talking about?! The demon MUST die!" and as the other concise ninja began chanting "Kill the demon!" all of them forgetting the hokage's law while hoping for a 'successful exorcism'.
None of them able to see the evident sadistic grin under Itachi's ANBU mask. Itachi reached back and grabbed his tanto while calling over the same shoulder to the boy's bodyguard assigned to him by the hokage. "Dog, take Naruto to the hospital and report to the hokage." The dog masked ANBU did as he was told picked Naruto up, and began his trek to the hospital. While thinking 'show them no mercy.'
Meanwhile back at the mob the AMBU were the only people who could even see Itachi burl through the crowd as he decapitated each and every person there. Every head falling off in order of execution one by one. By the time Itachi's tanto clicked in his sheath every head had fallen. It was then that both of the ANBU on the top of the building made a silent vow to never make that man's shit list.
Hokage's office
Satrobie sighed as he had just finished signing, stamping, and organizing all of the dammed Paperwork for the evening when all of a sudden every single one his papers went flying everywhere. And kami have mercy on the sole of the person who just tripled his workload. Then out of a shunshin (teleportation jutsu) came a familiar dog faced ANBU. "Kakashi you'd better have one dame good reason for ruining my week." The killer intent being unleashed by the elderly hokage was enough to remind Kakashi why the man sitting behind that desk was called "Kami no Shinobi."(The god of shinobi) "Naruto has been hospitalized sir." He squeaked out.
Saturobie's eyes went wide as he stopped mid table jump, as he no longer planned to kill the ANBU operative in front of him for sending him first class straight to hell, his right hand the only thing keeping him from falling to the ground in surprise. He got off the desk and walked to the old wooden double doors he gave Kakashi a warning "I want all of these picked up and reorganized by the time I get back. And if I find one thing out of place then you'll be doing D-rank missions alone for a month!" the now scared piss-less ANBU shook his head with a resounding "yes sir!" from the operative. With that Satrobie left, only to stop and give the ANBU one last bit of incentive before he left. "And with no pay!" satisfied with himself the old kage left to see Naruto.
With Naruto-Mindscape
Naruto found himself in a dark sewer with knee high water and pipes on the walls and ceiling. He did notice that they all lead to a single place, having no better plan he followed them. Following the pipes he eventually found the place that they all disappeared into.
Noticing the giant gates that took up an entire wall in this six-story tall room. As he approached the gates he found deep gouges in the ground between the ten foot thick bars. It clicked just in time as he jumped back as giant silver claws shot out from in-between the bars. Then as they pulled back two giant red stilted eyes opened, a feral smile immediately revealed to the boy.
"Hello Naruto." The demon bellowed. Naruto Blinked in confusion as he spoke. "Who are you and wear am I?" Now it was the demons turn to blink in confusion 'the boy isn't afraid?'the demon said. "I am the great kyuubi no Yoko gaki (brat), and were in your mind." "If this is my mind then why are you here?" "Because I was sealed here by your horrid fourth hokage… but since your here, what do you say to a deal?" "Why would I make a deal with a demon?" 'This gaki is damn smart for someone his age.' Thought the kyuubi.
"Because I can make it so you can destroy any who stand in your way, grow to your true potential, Have powers the world has never known one of your blood to have, and eventually be able to do ANYTHING you want, even destroying Kohana… given a couple decades of training." Kyuubi said while mumbling the last part.
'This is just too good to be true' Thought Naruto." What's the catch?" "Smart kit. What I want is to be able to see, feel, and hear the outside world. As well as talk to you over a mental link every now and then." Naruto was dumbfounded! "That's it?" "Yep. Honestly it just gets boring in here, plus if you die I have to though reforming again, and it's a pain in the ass!" "Okay I can see how that might suck." "You have NO idea kit." kyuubi said shuddering.
"You got a deal fox" The fox gave the boy a kitsune grin. "You just made a fox very happy, kit. Keep it up and I may even supervise your training myself." "Really." "Possibly, not likely, but it's possible." Naruto was extremely excited. He was getting powers from the Kyuubi! But his celebration was cut short by kyuubi. "Also don't tell anyone about this, they may not take it too well." "Yeah I guess. Well I got to go Kyuubi-sensei." And with that Naruto fazed out of existence.
'Sensei? I never said that I would teach you kit, though then again if I don't somewhat he'll probably kill himself trying some of this stuff…' and with that Kyuubi went to sleep, it was going to be interesting watching the kit.
With Naruto- real world
Naruto woke up to find Satrobie at his side and an ANBU at the door guarding the entrance to his room. "Ah, Naruto you're up!" "Jiji where am I? And who's that?" "The hospital Naruto and that is the man that saved you. Weasel come in here and say hello to Naruto." Naruto looked up in time to see the ANBU at the door walkover to behind the hokage. "Hello Naruto." "Tell me Naruto, how would like to be able to become a ninja?" Naruto started to turn down the offer, but a voice in his head cut him off.
"Kit let's look at the deal to see what he offers." Kyuubi said. "What do you have in mind jiji?" "Well because of certain circumstances Weasel here will be leaving the village very soon, and I want him to train you while you're on the road. Along with a few friends you're bound to meet along the way." "What about food, money, and the fact that I don't have anything that will be useful jiji." "Weasel will buy the food with the money I give him monthly. But tell me Naruto, do you still have that ninja backpack I gave you?" "Yeah jiji, but what good will that do?" "Listen Naruto I want you to go home tonight, get a good night's sleep, grab your backpack tomorrow and meet me in my office at eight o'clock sharp, ok?"
"Uuuhhh sure thing jiji but what-"Naruto was cut off by the elderly hokage. "I'll explain everything tomorrow okay Naruto?" "Okay jiji." Naruto then proceeded to get up and walk towards the door. "Well I'll see you tomorrow jiji. Bye weasel-san" And with that Naruto proceeded to walk home only to interrupted by Kyuubi. 'Good choice kit that weasel faced ANBU is very powerful. He'll be a good teacher.' 'What do you mean "good choice?" you practically gave me all the answers?' '…good point' and with that useless conversation over Narutoraced home and went straight to bed. Falling asleep immediately not having realized before how tired he was.
The next day – Hokage's office
Naruto had woken up that day and put everything he had of importance to him in his backpack. And that would be one cabinet full of instant ramen. Though he wanted some other foods, ramen was the only thing that he could afford to buy, what with the shop owners that actually let him buy anything charging triple and up pricing. After that he showered and left for the hokage tower.
Once he got there he found a man who he recognized as an uchiha standing in front of the hokage's desk. "Hey jiji, where's weasel?" "Naruto this is weasel, he just isn't in ANBU gear at the moment." Replied the elderly kage. "Oh!" Naruto then looked over at the no longer weasel faced ANBU operative. The man was a tall six foot two and was wearing black skin tight pants, a black sleeve less shirt, blue open toed shoes, and two kunai holsters on his right thigh.
The ever stoic uchiha simply looked down at Naruto and frowned. "Hokage-sama, I'm going to need money to get Naruto the proper equipment." "Hey what's wrong with the stuff I already have?" "Itachi." Was all the old kage had to say? "You mean a three ears supply of instant ramen?" Itachi asked dumping the contents of Naruto's backpack on the ground." Ramen is the food of the gods!" "NO you stupid little fool! Poky is the true food of all things holy!" The old kage sweat dropped at seeing the two argue. 'This is going to be an interesting combo.' Thought the old kage. "why don't you two argue while you get Naruto's equipment?"
The only type of response the elderly kage got was the two arguing food antics moving towards the door mid-sentence, without dropping the argument. Causing another sweat drop to appear on the kages face. 'What have I just unleashed upon my village?' he wondered
Market district
Naruto and Itachi were now shopping for a change of clothes for Naruto, thus starting up a brand new argument over the colors orange and black. Witch was ended when the shop keeper tried to solve it by saying that purple was best…it did not end well. However Naruto and Itachi did get one hell of a deal on all the clothes that they purchased.
This pattern continued on everything from kunai and katana vs. broad sword and windmill shuriken to sandals vs. boots. Enlil they eventually ended up on the same argument they started with. Ramen vs. poky.
Sunset north gates
Satrobie was looking down at the hogtied version of Naruto, then to the impassive face of Itachi and finally to the sky as if asking kami "should I let them go?"… When he got no lightning strikes as a sign to stop this he simply settled on looking to Itachi for answers. "He wouldn't shut up." Deciding that it wasn't worth the effort of arguing with him Satrobie simply sighed, nodded his head, and waved to Naruto (still hog tied to Itachi's bag) as he left on his journey. 'I hope they don't end up killing each other…' was Satrobies final thought before he went to deal with all the paperwork the two boys had created for him with their antics throughout the town.