Life after death
Rose POV
I don't think he understood, but the words of the guardian mantra were my last conscious thought. They come first.
Rose POV
I didn't know where I woke up, was I in the world of the dead or living? All I knew that I was drifting in to nothingness, I felt a strange sense of relief. I didn't have to sacrifice myself, to save Lissa. Wait what was wrong with me? Lissa is my best friend, I am her guardian I have to protect her. I have to protect her against Tasha she wasn't safe. I didn't know where I was, but I had to save her she saved me once more than once. Now it was my turn to save her, but didn't I just stand in front of her so a bullet wouldn't kill her? I was so confused, I couldn't do anything but just drift here. So I did what I could do and drift and drift.
Lissa POV
When I seen Rose just laying there looking at me it reminded me of when we got into the accident. I felt so helpless, but instead her eyes were opened looking at me with so much love. I seen in her eye love, with my gift I seen her presence starting to fade away. I didn't know what to do, I seen her give one last look to Dimitri and then she closed her eyes. I couldn't help it, I started crying I cried and cried. They took her away "No, I can heal her I can save her!" I said. "No, you have to get ready for the queen stuff they have planned for you." One of guardians said. I didn't want to be queen this was just supposed to create more time. I wanted Rose alive and safe not dying and with people that can nor save her. I watched them take her to save her, I knew that I had to go with them I was only right. Instead I ran to my room, I open the door and made sure no one would be able to come in. I cried into my pillows, I wish my mother was here to comfort me, but the only one here to do that was Rose and Christian I didn't know where he was. I didn't want to see him, it sounds weird but he would comfort me and say it's all right which it was not. .Thinking of Rose made me cry harder, I didn't know what to do. I had a crazy thought in my head, what if I healed myself? I am hurting, so with my crazy spirit powers I put my hands on my heart. I suddenly had this thought what if it kills me? Before I had a chance to do anything I felt myself suddenly lose consciousness and blacked out.
Rose POV
If I died would people morn me? Would they come to my funeral? I didn't know, was I dead? Or was I alive and just in a coma? So many questions, no answers. Taking down by a gun, who would of thought? I missed Lissa and my mother, and Dimitri. I missed so many people I couldn't remember all of their names. I wanted to go back and hug them and just see them. I didn't really think about death a lot though I realized all that it was all around me. I felt something wet against my cheeks, I was crying. What I was crying for was a great mystery. I wonder what Lissa was doing right now? Was she crying for me? I hope she was safe. If something happened to her I would personally kill Dimitri and the guardians who didn't keep her safe. I suddenly had this flash of energy like I was being healed. Wasn't I dead? How did I have the bond? Those entire questions popped into my head. I didn't know anymore, I wanted Lisa safe, but what price? Lissa is my best friend and I'm hers, but after her parents and brother she wasn't the same. Would she be happy after she grieved would she be happy? Would she be the queen she always was meant to be? I wanted her happy and safe but if she we can't always get what we want. What if she started cutting herself because I wasn't there and she wasn't happy, then she wouldn't be safe. That wasn't my problem anymore, no matter how much I wanted to argue that, it really wasn't. I was dead or in a coma, Dimitri knew to protect her for me and because she was a Moroi. I loved her, she loved me. I died protecting her and I was glad, not that I died but I died protecting her, something I promised her and was meant to do. My thoughts drifted back to where was I? Heaven not on my behavior, hell I mean come on I'm not that bad. Limbo probably, I wanted Lissa more than ever. As on cue a bright yellowish light came and swiftly dropped Lissa into wherever we were. 'Lissa, wake up". I nudged her. Still no response, crap I thought.
Lissa POV
"Lissa, wake up". A voice that I recognized. I didn't know whose it was. I felt a nudge; I wanted to wake up to see whose voice it was. I couldn't though, I'm trying, and I'm always trying. Everybody pushing my, everybody but Rose. Oh Rose, I'm so sorry, her death is my fault. My fault, how can I live with that? How can I live without Rose? "Lissa, you cannot stay like this, no matter how much you want to." The voice said. I didn't realize, I wanted to stay like this. I'm going to wake up now, I told myself I did. The voice was Rose herself, I didn't expect it to be her. "Hi, Lissa." Rose said. "Rose, where are we? Are you ok? Rose please come ba-". I tried to say but she cut me off. "I'm fine, I think, I don't know where we are, I cannot Lissa I'm dead or in a coma I really don't know." She breathed out. "You have to come back, Rose I don't think I can do all this stuff without you." "Yes you can you're the Lissa Dragomir, you can do anything." She smiled when she was done. "I cannot, I can't do this without you Rose, there is no Lissa without Rose." " I am not going to argue with you, I am sorry but I may not see you again for awhile." She said. "When did you get so wise? I am going to miss you Rose but Ill never forget you, you're my best friend and will always be I love you." " I know I love you too Ill miss you so much you're my bff." She says " Ha-ha very funny, I love you, you'll see Andre and my mom and dad, Mason." "I know, I am sorry for leaving you, I don't want to." Rose says. " Tell Dimitri, I love him so much, and Adrian I am sorry for cheating on him, I didn't just drag him along I actually liked him. Lissa I love you and you're my best friend , tell all of them my mom, my dad I didn't want to leave them." She said. "Oh Rose I love you too." The yellow light was back, it was closing around me and fast, I gripped Rose's shirt, so it wouldn't take me back to that place. "Oh Lissa, you have to go." I thought Rose would want me here. "I love you I'll miss you."I say. "Me too, you will make a good queen Lissa, you were meant for it. Treat Jill like family, make her a part of your family. Don't forgot to tell them." Those were her last words to me. I drifted into nothingness, to blackness and it swallowed me.
Lissa POV
I'm asleep; it was all a dream Rose is alive and safe. It's all going to be alright, it's fine everybody is fine. No it is not, Rose is dead, and I found out last night, they couldn't save her. I could have saved her but they didn't let me and now she is dead. I have a fuzzy memory of talking to her, but she is dead, it was probably a dream. People haven't come to my room, I think there trying to give me my space which I want. I don't want people to say it is going to be fine, like they did with my family's death. I never did like that, I mean Rose, after the accident she was more reckless but she was there for me. Who is there for me now? I have nobody, Christian well I can't talk to him about girl stuff. Who is there for me, Jill my half-sister but I feel so far away from her. When Rose first said that I felt weird I barely got ok with not having my parents there. Now I have Jill, Jill reminds me of Rose why? "Treat Jill like family; make her part of your family." Rose said that, but how? I need people to talk to, last time it was not pretty. I got my key to my room and went to Jill's room; I knocked twice before it opened. "Oh, Lissa, I didn't expect you here, I, um come in." Jill said. "Its fine, I just need someone to talk to, since your apart of my family." I say quickly. I'm hurting but I am not a rude person, I have to maintain calmness all of us do. We are the Moroi we are calm and polite, that thought made me think of Rose. I felt tears welling up. I quickly brush them off, "So, um is there anything you want to talk about"? She says. "Yes, I um wanted to talk to you about Rose, is that alright with you because we may not know each other well but I do consider you my sister." "Oh, I have always wanted a sister um, cool I mean not cool since you know, but that's good you're talking to someone. I am sorry, I don't know what for but Rose, was um cool and brave." Jill says. "Oh, yeah last time was bad, but we got over it. I know what is there to be sorry for, Tasha should be saying sorry. Yeah, me too I wanted one too, Rose was like one, she was one, no she still is one but I can always have two sisters." I smile when I am done. Jill brights up like a light bulb. That makes me happy, maybe you can find light in the darkest of days. "Jill, I have to go, I don't know if I'll see you later, but I will see you tomorrow?" "Goodbye Lissa, that would be cool, I like how you picked me to talk to you thank you. You are right you know you are going to make the best queen they ever had. Goodbye Lissa." Jill says. I quickly shut the door. I want to go back in my room and sulk and never come out. Rose would be disappointed in me if I did that. I could just imagine the convo. I have to get up and get on with my life. I can't not now not today. I talk to Jill, my sister that was good right? I can't deal with this I cannot. Maybe in a while, but not now. I see a blur in the coroner of my eye. Dark jet black hair, tall figure oh gosh its Christian. I don't want to see him. "Has Lissa, come out of her room?" Christian says. "Yes sir, but she didn't tell anyone where she went, even if she did I could not tell you." The man says probably a guard. "Ok, if she asks tell her I didn't come. Is Jill still in her room?"Christian says. Why does Christian want to go to Jill? I feel a pain of jealously, I shouldn't though. Last year Christian took Jill under his wing, they wanted to fight. I still felt it though, but at least I felt bad about it. I was tempted to follow him, but I wanted to go to my room and disappear. So I went to my room, I didn't ask my guard if Christian stopped by then I he really would be lying to me. If I didn't ask its like it never happened. I took off my simple dress and changed in to my sweats and quickly washed off my face. I laded down in bed, I thought about today I talked to Jill, which was good. I may never get over Rose's death, but cope with it, maybe even get use to it. I lade there for an hour before I fell into sleep.
Rose POV
I told Lissa, what I wanted, but the thing I wanted was to be alive. I could not have that. At least I saved a person I cared about. Maybe I can get use to it? This is the rest of my life. Wait that wasn't right, my life is gone. I'm dead. "You're body is dead, but not your soul." A voice said. "Who are you? Show yourself!" I said. "Fine, but don't stare ok?" The voice said. A little girl appeared, she had no left arm and her face had deep cuts on it. "Well, a surprise." The little girl said. "What? Am I in heaven? Is Lissa ok? She's safe right?" I blurted out. The little girl smiled like she got a lot of this. "Never mind, no not yet, she is fine but she isn't happy but she is safe." She says. Good I think I want her happy, but I just died at least she is safe. I wonder if I am going to Heaven. "Come with me." She said." I do, we go to a big school, and we walk in the empty halls. We get to the massive front doors, we stop. This place reminds me of , it doesn't look like it but somehow it reminds me of it though. "Are you ready, to go?" She says. "Go where?" somehow I know what she means. "Heaven, are you ready?" The little girl says. "I Think, wouldn't you know? I mean you lead me here you aren't just going to lead me hear not knowing if I'm ready to go." I say that of impulse. The little girl smiles again. "You're not ready." She says. "I want to be to ready, but I can't how can I be ready."I say I wish I didn't the little girl will probably say that's up to you, which I don't know how to be ready. " I'm not going to say it's up to you." She says. "How did you know that? Can you read my mind?" I say. "No, but they always say that." She said. "So how do I become ready?"I say quickly. "You have to let go, of them your friends, family." She says. I say nothing didn't I do that when I died? "You can't worry about them, anymore." She said. "I can't do that, I have to worry there my family, or friends. I have to." I say. "You can't protect them, you can't take care of them anymore." She looks a little sad when she says it. Who did she leave? "Who, will then?" I say sadly. "They'll care for each other," she says. "That's what people do." I still can't let go. She knows but smiles and says "When you are ready, come back, but in the mean time I will help you let go." "Is that your job?" I ask. "No, but I want to do this, I was you once, I want to help. Everyone does." She says. She is so wise, she looks nothing like her but she in many ways like her. She is wise like her. The little girl. And Lissa. Lissa. It always comes down to Lissa, my best friend, no my sister. Lissa. Lissa. Lissa.