"If Only"
Power. That's what this was all about.
That word, the word that he had wanted for as long as he could remember, along with the words respect, fame, and fortune. He had wanted them so badly that he had done everything he could to earn them. Lied, cheated, even stole. Hell, he had thought, it's not even worth it. He remembered that night, the night when he had told his mother that he was leaving the family because they all disgraced him. He shook his head as he also remembered the sobs that had emitted from his mother's mouth as she told him that she loved him no matter what, and he could always come home. When he thought of the situation he started to sob. When he had tried to gain everything, he had lost everything. His parents, who had been hurt deeply by his accusations; Penelope Clearwater, his steady girlfriend, had even told him he was in too deep and broken off their relationship. His brothers were all furious and his sister, Ginny, the sibling he had the strongest bond with, had turned around and told him that she was ashamed of him.
Everything was gone. The only thing he had left was his position. The position at the ministry, which he had worked so hard for, now seemed drab and unsatisfying. If only, he sighed, if only he had believed his family and the Order. If only he had believed in himself. Percy knew he should stop saying that phrase in his mind, if only, it had so many possibilities. So many doors had been sitting wide open for him. Now, it seemed all the doors had closed, and he was left alone in a dark hallway.