Warnings: Non-consensual sexual situations (Gamma x Yamamoto). Rape, violence and torture. Also practically underage. Seriously, if you are offended by this kind of stuff – don't read it! Moreover, this piece is a missing part from 'Blanco', which is the 23 chapters long 8059 fanfic. Some of you might be interested in what happens before or after this part.

Disclaimer: As I have already said before, I do not own and possibly never will own 'Katekyoushi Hitman Reborn'. I also don't own, nor do I claim to, the song 'Hole in the Moon'.

Enjoy

Condemning Actions

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

But it seems that it's not always that people have good intentions when they take the actions that condemn them to hell. Sometimes, well sometimes the paths people choose reflect what they have in the depths of their souls. And in many cases, people's souls are not as pure as they used to be when they first arrived in this world.

Just like how when you first pull the trigger you are afraid, but deep inside your soul you know that in the end it will help you to survive and protect the people you love. You pull that trigger and hit the target with such perfection that you would wish no one to be your enemy but still know that someday one such person will arrive. And you know that that's why you do that so for you it just feels right.

Or does it?

I hurt with words, sometimes without meaning to, and so I stay
alone,

last on a sinking ship.

For once in his life, Gamma had been able to successfully spot that special window. That special moment when the time and the place were exactly for his favor. His eyes looked forward to see the back of the taller of his two captive Vongola brats, walking a few steps behind his gray haired friend and the Cavallone boss. Without wasting any time of this fortunate opportunity, he drew closer and reached to silently detain the dark haired boy.

That boy he couldn't get anything out of and frustrated him to no end. That boy he could hear singing in the recordings and through the halls. That boy whose dark eyes he looked at passively as he heard his life story without being noticed. Yes, that boy that he didn't know how to deal with so much that he just wanted to break him apart and see what he was made of.

And now he had the boy to take his anger out on and the time to actually do it, just for his own personal pleasure. Well, not exactly just that, since there might be a meaning to his actions by his own resolution to help his family.

If the boy wasn't already afraid of him, he would terrify him so much that he wouldn't want to face him ever again. That would mean one less foe that could possibly turn the tides in this war. He didn't want to think that it was futile, that the Vongolas were giving a fight right those moments in an entirely different location and his actions would make no difference. He just wanted to feel that he was worth something. That he wasn't just abandoned by the rest of the family and left behind as they were fighting.

He had been left there to fight the Varia, yes. But in reality he almost hadn't fought. All he had to do was give orders day and night for three weeks straight. Three whole damned weeks of orders that organized his men to defend the base's main building and it's facilities. He had to take care and secure all the family secret plans and blueprints. All the new developments and the location of the melon base. He was so frustrated all this time as he knew the last three weeks have been the sole result of one single thing.

Two actually. Two damned Vongola guardians that he hadn't even been able to interrogate these last weeks because he was always needed elsewhere.

Now that the base was infiltrated and the rescue team that the Vongola people have arranged had been successful in the second part of their mission, he had nothing else to worry about but himself.

And he wanted to get back at those kids. Or at least the one of them he had in his hands.

He arrived at the main interrogation room and pushed the Vongola boy roughly inside. By that time, the boy was not simply struggling, but practically thrashing violently, kicking, punching, biting, scratching and basically doing everything in his power to try and get away. Judging by the muffled yells he could hear and feel before his hand left the guardian's mouth, the blond assumed the Vongola was cursing him as well. That was a strange part, he had to admit. From what he had seen of the boy so far, he was not the kind to display any of the actions mentioned above. It was a perfect demonstration to how people can change when faced with situations they can not deal with.

He looked at the ground and saw the chains that were attached to it, but then he just moved past them to get to the younger boy who retreated a few steps back to distance himself from the older one. There was no need to chain him when he had the easiest solution right there, in his pocket. Waiting especially for the Vongola's guardians he had locked in the basement.

As he stepped closer to the boy, he could see him retreating with dread. One stepping forward, the other stepping backward. But then, with one swift movement as he seemed to have lost his already nonexistent patience, Gamma backhanded the young swordsman and sent him crushing painfully into the hard floor. He immediately put his foot on the young one's chest to subdue him. As he looked at the dark eyes of the hurt boy, he could see the various emotions that were running inside him.

Pain. Defiance. Anger. Fear. Distress. And really, it was just so amusing to witness an expression that held both hope and despair in such a perfect combination.

Without allowing himself more than a moment of distraction, the Millefiore reached for his pocket with his left hand and took out a small syringe. The seemingly harmless, toy like, instrument would prevent the Vongola from resisting. It would not take his consciousness for more than an hour later or so, though. First, it paralyzes the peripheries, the limbs and then the rest of the body, until the victim loses the ability to move. Then, it takes about an hour for the drug to fully take effect and put the body into some sort of an induced coma that could eventually mean the death of this person unless he is given the proper medical treatment within the right time.

The bottom line was, now there was no resistance.

Now that the struggles were out of the way, he could fully come to taking his self needed revenge. He savored every moment as he first appreciated the body underneath him. The beautiful skin neither pale nor tan, the true black that made his hair and eyes. It was much easier to notice all the fine lines and curves the boy had since the boy had no shirt on. Of course not, he was the one who destroyed it long before after all. The only worthy cloth that covered the beautiful skin of his injured chest was the long bandage that kept his body from falling apart.

As cold as the man was, the eager look he had on his face as he took the younger one's pants off with a knife was even more frightening than his regular expression. The underwear went straight after and his eyes darkened as he took in the naked form of the young rain guardian, his hungry gaze bore down on the Vongola's naked body without straying even a bit.

At the terrorized expression he got he could finally see the truth behind this boy's fears. A virgin. He mused at the thought. Those were rare in the mafia, even at that age. And to have someone like that in his hands, displayed under him and only for his own, personal satisfaction, sent an amazing feeling coursing through his veins that made it's way southward more and more...

Yes, the Millefiore black spell squad leader was definitely lusting over this boy.

With the pale light, in the hour's trap
an angel comes, look at what he holds in his hand.
That's the difference of good from evil,
my brother.

In his drug induced mind, Yamamoto Takeshi could not come to any other conclusion other than he was weak.

The swordsman couldn't fend off his attacker as he was grabbed and carried away from safety, he couldn't even scream for help as a hand covered his mouth. He couldn't run away from the hands that held him in a bruising grip even when he gave it everything he had. He couldn't stand and he couldn't walk, he couldn't speak and he couldn't think, he couldn't see correctly and he couldn't stop the fear.

And just when he thought it could not get any worse, that he could not become any more defenseless than he had already been, it did.

The young Vongola guardian had been drugged. And now when he tried to move his arms and legs to get away, he couldn't, not even the tips of his fingers. And when he tried to stop himself from whimpering and crying as his clothes were taken off of his already injured body brutally, he couldn't. And it was the worst. The worst feeling. To feel so helpless, so incapable and vulnerable.

So weak.

It hadn't been just his body that was paralyzed, stopped, at the same time so were his hopes, sense of security and, practically for that exact moment, his regular, normal life.

The swordsman was shutting himself piece by piece from the world, he most definitely wasn't prepared for this. And the worst was that he had no one to blame but himself for letting go of his guard and allowing himself to be put in this situation in the first place. He didn't blame Hayato or Dino because he knew they hadn't been aware that something even happened behind them. He didn't blame Tsuna simply because he knew it wasn't his fault, he wasn't even there.

He couldn't even find it in himself to blame Gamma, the man who was ultimately the only one who was responsible to this situation. It was the guy's job to be their enemy, after all. The fact that he couldn't blame the blond man didn't mean he felt nothing about the man's actions, though.

Because at the moment there was no one in the entire world that Yamamoto Takeshi hated more than that man that was looking down on him.

Tears began sliding from the edges of his eyes, across his pale skin and down onto the cold concrete floor. He couldn't find it in himself, in his agonized mind that was trapped inside his abused body, to care anymore. He just wanted it all to end. He wanted to be away from this room that only seemed to create bad memories of pain and suffering. He wanted to be outside where there was sunlight and wind, not just walls and endless hallways. He wanted to be free of the burdens and the secrets, torturing and interrogations. He wanted to see Gokudera again. He wanted to feel safe again.

As he felt those foreign, unforgiving hands hold his hips with unbearable force, the rain guardian's soul sought for the comfort of the arms he had gotten used to falling asleep and waking up in. but they weren't there. All that there was around him, inside him and practically his entire being, was pain. Exposed, raw pain in it's harshest and ugliest form.

In the guardian's mind there was a single plan. The only thing he could do was to not give the older man the satisfaction that the torture he was going through now hurt him. Well, that was what he planned, but in the reality outside of his mind a pain filled scream slashed the air as he felt the beginning of the man's violation of his body. Mercilessly going in, all the way with one thrust, the Millefiore started immediately. Not even thinking about allowing the shaking boy under him to adjust to the sudden intrusion.

The dark eyed Vongola's mind blanked completely at the actions as tears fell freely on his pale cheeks. The only thoughts that could be heard deep inside the slowly fading consciousness were nothing but whispers of the mind, barely existing. "Oh god, please no, not this, please make him stop..."

And as a mantra the voices the swordsman focused on, kept him for some time until something had happened. It stopped. It really did stop. Opening his eyes at the beginning of hope that was forming in his heart, Yamamoto looked up with barely any sight as he waited for something to happen.

But as Gamma was still inside, he only reached to draw his knife. The same one that eventually resulted in the dark haired one's still bandaged chest.

Whether he finally found his voice or simply thought it just didn't matter, Yamamoto asked a single worded question,

"Why?" he put a lot of effort in saying this one word. Asking this one question. "What do you want from me?" he asked in an obviously pained voice, as he struggled around the drug's effects.

The question was necessary, he needed to know why this was happening. He needed to understand the cruelty so he wouldn't be stuck in this moment for the rest of his life. But more than anything else, he needed to know what this sacrifice was for. What to think about as that knife engraves the memory of these acts to his flesh for the remainder of his days in this world.

And Gamma knew as he looked into the deep pleading gaze of his dark eyed captive. About the fears the rain guardian was suffering right now, but he didn't care. With his mind clouded with revenge and his eyes blind with lust, he truly and honestly just didn't care.

"There is no reason." the blond stated simply. He lowered the blade so it only slightly grazed the bandaged skin, and drew it slowly upwards. Taking his time, he quietly traced shallow lines over the bandages, not cutting, but more like planning. How the slices were going to be. It didn't take long for him to begin feeling the desire to stop this break and he made the first cut.

And so everything began for the second time, this time even worse.

'Oh god' was the only thought going through Yamamoto's head at the answer he got and the actions that followed it. The man above him was crazy, there was no other way to explain it. Actually there was, but he strongly believed that words such as sadist, pedophile and an overall natural disaster fell under the same category.

The young guardian wondered hopelessly just how long he would have to endure this torture until he would be done with. Being discarded and ignored seemed more than acceptable for him during those endless minutes. Because as much as every fiber of him fought to move and do something to stop the madness in the room, he knew it was made impossible for him. Drugged, He didn't have the ability to fight back as his life was toyed with in the cruelest way possible.

"Keep closing your eyes and ignoring this." Gamma said, his voice low as he was nearing the end, "Because there will be no... pleasure... out of this..." he lowered his face to the boy's ear and whispered, "Not for you, anyway." as he came.

At that moment, no one in the world, no one in the room, not even Yamamoto himself knew that this would be the cause for his change. The cause for his acceptance to his role as Vongola the Tenth's left hand man.

I could never forget the moment I wanted
to gather everything, and I didn't have the strength
to keep undergoing all of which has no meaning.

Dead silence took it's seemingly natural place in that room as the torture came to an end. None could be felt, none could be heard. A single sound of the air's movement came to both of the room's residents ears and enveloped their thoughts with it's spreading insanity. As the silence withdrew and returned to nothingness, an unbelievably soft breath was released. It's very core was made of another persons' misfortune, if it could even be called this way.

After letting go of his long held breath, Gamma retreated to stand up and look down. His prisoner, face down and unmoving, was barely breathing as he lied on the floor, shaking uncontrollably. Pulling his clothes on with peaceful bliss, the senior mafioso paid no attention to the bloodied guardian's pained state.

Not until he was entirely done with his short preparations for departing the basement did he once again allow his eyes to focus on the suffering Vongola.

The blonde's senses were back at their top shape as he looked at the boy. Turning the small body with a single movement of his right leg, he was met only by glazed eyes that reflected the broken spirit that was hidden behind them, deep inside the just as much broken body. He would never acknowledge the clench he felt in his jaded heart during that time. Though right then, at that same moment, he knew.

He knew that those eyes would haunt him for the rest of his life.

Give me a milestone and I will know how to keep going.
The pain is still deep inside, I only wished to go.
It's like a torn picture,
the hole in the moon.

The same as in a hallucination, I return to the point
where I began walking with hopes to not crawl.
Amidst it all, it seems I grow closer
as I stand on the edge.

And that's it... there is just one more thing I would like to add:

I never had and do not support these kind of acts. And I repeat, rape, sexual assault\ harassment, are all acts that I will never support. However, if any of you have problems or are still offended with this particular story in any way regardless of my words, then keep in mind that that's what it is. A story. There is a difference between writing and real life.

Have a nice day :]

P.S

While you are reading this, I am already beginning to write the first of the six chapters of Blanco's side story. So just sit and wait for 'Empires Fall Slowly' and the Xanxus x Tsuna romance...

Oh, and I really did pull the trigger with good intentions.