Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Yu Yu Hakusho. All characters belong to Yoshihiro Togashi and whoever else helped with the show's creation. I do not make any profit from it what so ever.

Author's Rant: This will be a exchange of letters between the entire Spirit Detective gang during their times together during ALL of their adventures. By the way no one knew of these letters except the four of them ^_^.

Warning: Language, mild yaoi mentioning.

Dear... Part 1

Dear Fire Demon,

I don't know if you'll get this letter anytime soon but I was instructed to arrest you and this guy named Kurama. Listen I don't have time to get into full details on the charges or whatever but just do me a favor. Come easy and quietly without all the bullshit monologging about taking over the world alright? Kicking ass isn't on my schedule this week. As a matter fact I was lucky to squeeze kicking your ass in on a Thursday after school. I have more important things to do like heading to Tokyo Dome for the next fight.

From Your Future Ass Kicker.

Dear Unknown Fool,

I haven't the slightest idea how you've come upon my address but rest assured that if you dare to interfere with my plans there will be hell to pay.

By the way that's a very pleasant way to begin a letter to someone. 'I'm going to arrest you without going into details of the charges.' Quality vow from a rookie detective. Please don't interpret that as anything else besides sarcasm. Trust me, I'm not amused.

Koenma must be going senile in his toddler years to have you sending me a threating letter about my supposed arrest. What the hell type of moronic logic are you and that fool living off of? Obviously the kind that spells the fastest way for a quickened demise. I warn you now. DO NOT meddle in my affairs or face a quicken trip to that infant employer of yours. PERMANENTLY. I won't be responsible for your face having a solid imprint of my boot for keeps.

Signed, None of your goddamned business.

Dear Jail Bait,

Hey Hiei how's it feel being locked up after getting your ass kicked? Pretty sweet how I used my spirit gun to knock you flat on your ass huh? You can thank your cracked ass tactics on kidnapping my friend you stupid creep. Don't get me wrong I'll admit you throw some pretty hard punches but they had nothing on my spirit gun. Give me a call when you make parole asshole. I'll be more than happy to introduce you to another ass whooping. By the way, the next time we do a rumble, keep your shirt on. I wasn't up for staring at the blinking artichoke eyes, what the hell were you aiming for. Creepy fuck.

Yours truly, the Victorious Yusuke.

P.S. Before you get any stupid ideas Kayko isn't my girlfriend. . .and don't drop the soap. I heard demons can be savages on lock down.

Dear Green Jumpsuit Asshole,

Believe me detective when I make parole you'll be the FIRST one to know. . . unfortunately. Don't take that minor victory of yours was anything to go by. The only reason you even stood a snowball's hell chance was because my ex-partner Kurama butted in where his tail wasn't needed. (I'll be kicking his ass later for that too). For the record, I recall delivering a good deal more shots than your pathetic pussy punches. Who the hell taught you how to strategize? Using the Fore Long Hope as a deflect to shoot me in the back? Oh yea that's real original. You got that from one of those ningen picture boxes and you know it.

Signed, Hiei

P.S. It's none of my concern what that whiny girl is to you. I only pity that you have to listen to that shrilling banshee's voice on a daily basis. And how exactly would you know how demons behave while incarcerated? Keeping something on lockdown I should know about detective?

Dear Fake Hater,

I gotta tell ya I wasn't expecting to have you and Kurama help us out to face the Four Saint Beasts. But did you have to make such a grand entrance with those glowing ball thingies? I mean come on. Just show up and be ready to kick some ass without all the theatricals. I mean fucking, you fucking prick, you had me worried there when we were all holding up that heavy ass wall. What the hell were you waiting for to pull the got'damn lever? For our shoulders to pop outta our sockets and wobble ourselves to freedom like retards? Stupid jerk. And don't feed me that crap that you were waiting for the perfect opportunity to come save us. You were just being a dick as usual.

Yours Truly, Yusuke

P.S. Is there any reason you felt the need to take off your cloak in the frigid cold? Again? What were you hoping for? The dragon to be so turned on he'll just drop to his knees begging you to. . .never mind. Just to let you know, I don't know what you were playing at but I don't swing that way kid. I think Kurama might. Hell he's pretty enough.

P.S.S. No seriously do you have some freaky fetish with taking off your robe?

Dear Overdramatic Detective,

Believe me if it were up to me I would've let that wall crush you all to a bloody pulp. I don't like you. I HONESTLY can't stay being near anyone of. I hate humanity. Did you not learn that from my recent attempt to destroy mankind? The only thing that saved your asses from being squished was my probation conditions involved. I'm NOT allowed to kill anymore humans. Consider you and that disfigured comrade of yours pretty lucky.

If it were up to me I would've let that damn wall fall in a heartbeat since you and that carrot head creature proved to be of little help in securing the Four Beasts. And no before you think it, I don't consider your battle with Suzaku a glorious victory. It was a mild flute, just like the ugly ningen's battle with the tiger. Thanks for making me lose that bet. I swear I was praying the tiger took him out. Alas we all can't get what we wait can we?

Signed, The All Powerful Hiei.

P.S. You dare to challenge my sexuality based on my battle with Seiryu when you were the one who had that deformed gargoyle feeding you energy through your chest? He FELL on your chest when he could have easily fallen to the side. Hn, at least Kurama's hot enough to make me question my sexual tensions. Theorically speaking of course.

Dear Quiet Stalker,

You know if you're just going to jump down from trees scaring people half to death, think to wear a bell would 'cha? I damn near shot you to the next world. It'd also help if you could tell someone they're about to go on another mission when they'd just finished one two days ago. Don't get me wrong the green haired babe on the video was pretty hot enough for me to rescue. Too bad my so called, 'ugly friend' thought so too. He made sure to come running with his 'power of love' in full gear.

Oh yea awesome job coming to the battle AFTER all of the actions over with, ya jerk. You wanna explain coming to the rescue AFTER me and Kuwabara killed the Toguros? You looked so awesome, man seriously. NOT! Sure come out looking like the hero when there's only one weak guy to knock out. Some goT'damn help you turned out to be. Oh look at me I'm the 'Fearless Hiei who comes at the last minute to help his friends.' Now THAT'S sarcasm asshole. You suck on that lollipop for a while prick.

From, The TRUE Hero Yusuke.

P.S. I know something you don't know. HA!

Dear Loose Cannon,

Did it ever occur to you to remember what I said in my previous letters? I DO NOT LIKE YOU! Why the hell would I come to rescue you sorry weaklings? I had one goal in mind and I intended to get it done with or without your lives. By the way it would behoove you and that sorry excuse for a red haired monster to keep whatever perverted thoughts to yourselves about that Koorime apprehension. She's NOT interested.

You can blame Koenma for my slow arrival to your assistance. He felt the need to re-explain the rules and regulations on not killing ningens. HA, that proved fruitless when I was close to punching that guy's head off his shoulders. The fool was lucky Yukina was there to stop me otherwise he would've came out looking worse than Kuwabara. . . if that' even possible.

Signed, The Only Risk Taker, Hiei.

P.S. If you truly know what I think you know, than you know that I'll kill you if you so much as whisper what we both know.

Dear Hiei,

I regret to inform you that that so called ass whooping we dished out to the Toguros?. . . Yea let's just say it wasn't exactly accurate. So—uhhh—be expecting a nice visit from the bastard really soon.

Yours Truly, Yusuke.

P.S. Make sure to bring Kurama. We need to add sex appeal to our group.

Dear Detective,

. . . I just got the asshole's invitation. Nice job on finishing the mission. Glad to know you enjoy seeing us fight for our lives on a daily basis. Now who has the odd fetishes?

See you in the ring. . . You damned fool.

P.S. Kurama's invited anyway. But replace that hideous friend of yours with someone worthy for your so called sex appeal. We'll lose ratings with that face of his.

TBC: I wonder what the gang will have to say in the next set of letters during the tournament ^_^. Who do you think they should be between? Stay tuned. By the way I love Kuwabara lol.