A story for Valentines day...I promise that I'll finish this before or on the Valentines day...Hope you like it...advance Happy Valentines day to everyone...

I made this while listening to the song "Don't cry out loud"

Another AllenxLenalee story...I do not own -man...

A girl with a hair of ebony green styled on a pig tail bounce happily as her brother escorted her towards the circus. It's Lenalee Lee's 8th birthday and so her brother Komui Lee decided to let her watch the circus perform. They walked hand-in-hand towards the crowded tent. Even though the performance is not yet starting the place is almost full. Luckily for them there are two vacant seats in front, so they gladly take it.

A man in top hat entered the stage, the man looks like in his late 30's. He waited there until the noises of the people died down. He cleared his throat and arranges his top hat before announcing that the performance will start after he exited the stage.

Lenalee waited with eye full of anticipation and her hands are clasp on her mid chest.

"The Pumpkin and the witch" the man announces. The people started clapping their hands.

Lenalee's POV

A short man in a clown costume and a girl in a witch costume entered the stage; the truth is I don't know whether the short man is a man or a boy, most of the performers in the circus I saw have an irregularity called dwarfism so I wouldn't know whether he's a boy/man and it is also because of his gigantic pumpkin head gear.

Then without further ado the man in the pumpkin head started juggling a ball, at first there is only two balls but then the Witch girl throw one ball to him and with ease he caught it. Again the witch throws one ball to him and he caught it again which results the audience clap and cheer for him.

He just keeps tossing the props into the thin air and manages to catch them - three, four and five balls in a row which earned another round of applause, I'm really amazed with him. Then I noticed the disappearance of the witch lady so my eye searches for her. When I finally found her, I gasped at what the she's holding; a big red ball 'Is she going to throw that ball to Mrs. Pumpkin? That's too big for him'. She carefully laid the ball beside the pumpkin headed man that is still tossing the props here and there. The man hopped onto the ball as effortlessly as if it was a plat surface, balancing on one foot and still tossing a few of the smaller balls with his two hands. His performance didn't end there he toss the balls out of the way so that his hands are not occupied and did a one hand stand on the big ball. I wanted to give him a standing ovation after that trick but I know that the show is not over yet so it can wait. My gazed never leave the pumpkin man 'Is he happy? Behind those big head covering what are his emotions. I'm curious because he gives off a happy aura as if he is enjoying his performance' It didn't sink into me until the audience stand in ovation. The show is already over and the pumpkin man and the witch bid their farewell.

My eyes are glued to the pumpkin man and because of that I excused myself to my brother 'Of course I didn't told him that I'll follow the pumpkin man' I cursed myself for not bringing a paper and pen, might need them for autograph purpose. I followed the pumpkin man at the back of the tent. There are no other people there but him 'Me too, but I hide behind the tent's curtain and I think he didn't took notice of me'

He stopped walking and sat at the bench near a big tree, and I think he let out a sigh. He gently removes the head covering and revealed his true form 'I mean his face' I gasped at the realization that he is just a boy not a man that suffered dwarfism. A boy with hazel brown hair tied in a ponytail, his eyes are silver-blue and he looks like my age or maybe younger.

"What are you looking at?" the boy said while facing towards my hiding place. I hesitantly took a step to expose myself from the suppose to be hiding spot 'But I think it didn't work since he saw me'

"uhm…" I trailed off for words while fidgeting my fingers. I felt so nervous. "I just umh…" 'Think! Think' but before I could think of a reason, a giggle from the boy halted me 'What is he laughing at' I gape at him with a puzzled look on my face, and then he stopped laughing.

"Why are you laughing at me?"

"Because you followed me then you don't what to say…Isn't that weird" he said

I approached him and sat beside him which gains a flinch from the boy. He's still holding the pumpkin he wears at the performance, and then I noticed that his gripping it like his life defends on it. Without my knowledge I reached out to his tense hands, his silver-blue eyes shows a terrified expression 'Is he scared of me?' I withdraw my hands from his and somehow that action calmed him.

"I'm Lenalee Lee" I stretched my hand towards him. At first he just stares at it, eye full of hesitation.

A sigh of relief escaped my lips as he gladly shook my hand with his right, but he didn't say a word.

"What's your name?" I asked.

He just looked away with his sorrowful eyes. 'Did I say something wrong?'

"I don't have one" his lips curved up in a painful smile.

I acted as if I didn't know what he's talking about "You don't have what?" I don't know if it's the right reply or not, what do you expect I'm merely just a child.

"I don't have a name" he answered back

"Then what do they call you?" I asked out of curiosity again.

A bitter laugh emerge from his lips "I think you wouldn't want to know" I watched him as he gaze towards nothingness with a bitter smile played along his face. And one thing I noticed from him is that he constantly gripping his left hand covered in gloves. Suddenly he stopped laughing and as if he remembered a painful memory "They call me freak"

"It isn't right…They're so bad"

"You should tell it to them"

My lips just formed an 'Oh' as if a sword just stabbed my heart 'They're so mean!' I placed a hand on his shoulder and he was slightly taken aback.

"How about I name you uhm.." I said while thoroughly thinking of a name and listing them down inside my head. I'll just call him the first name I could ever think then ask him if it's ok. A smile creeps up to my face and pronounce the name quietly.

"How about Allen?" he have a shocked expression and I can also see his face turning red

"I also wanted to name myself Allen…" He mumbled quietly but I can still hear it loud and clear and it made me happy to learn he liked the name.

"But I think people wouldn't call me that…they will always call m-" his eyes glue to his left hand.

"Allen, I'll always call you Allen" I said interrupting his sentence, I know what he's going to say 'They'll call me freak' it will put on a sad appearance onto his face again; I don't like that to happen. He turns his eyes to look at me again. And now it's my turn to blush because he is smiling at me, a smile different from before it's warm and welcoming.

"T-thank you" he said blushing meekly

"Don't mention it, Allen-kun"

I wanted to stay and chat along with him but I can hear in a distance that my brother is already calling for me. So much to my disappointment I have to bid farewell from him, for now because I'm going here tomorrow.

Even though I just met him today it felt as if I have known him for years, it felt warm inside just like being with my brother but also different I just couldn't figure out.

***BootsOfDespair***

Again I went to the circus to find him, he's practicing when I came. When he noticed me he puts on that smile again, my favorite smile. But whenever I'm with him the time seems to be in a fast forward and I'm going to say goodbye again.

I have been doing this routine for a week; I'm going to the circus then talk to him like we didn't see each other the other day, then sometimes he'll show me new tricks and tell funny jokes. I enjoyed his company and I somehow understand the warm feeling inside me when I'm with him.

***BootsOfDespair***

The circus is already finish with their performance when I came, I hurriedly run towards Allen that looked down casted 'Why? What happened to him?' When he took notice of me he puts on his façade of smile, he couldn't fool me with that smile I know it's fake but I just smiled along with him.

We sat on the bench side by side just like the first time we met but this time it's quieter. He broke the silence first

"Lenalee, do you want to know why people call me freak?" he asked as he looked at his gloved left hand

"C-can I know?" somewhat it's making me nervous as if he's going to disappear after he said the reason. He slowly took off the glove that covered his left hand.

I gasped from what I saw, his left hand is red-black in color and looked as if disintegrating. It looked so fragile that if I touched it he'll cry in pain. I put on a lot of courage to reach towards his left hand and held it tightly with my both hands. I turn my full attention to his left hand that I couldn't muster his reaction at that time, but I know he's surprise by my action.

"Your hand, it's warm" I said as I caressed it gently. I heard a loud sniffles coming from him so I stopped my actions and looked at him worryingly. 'He is crying…Did I hurt him? Oh no maybe his left hand really hurt-' but before I could comprehend what's happening he pulled me into a tight hug. I hug him back but still confusion is winning me over.

"T-thank you" he said while choking slightly because of crying.

"For what Allen-kun?"

"Because you're not scared"

Now I know…he's scared of being rejected and being alone. We stayed from that position, hugging each other as if one of us will vanish once we let go. But time is my enemy and it just wouldn't allow me to stay with him longer. He is the first one to withdraw from the hug.

"Lenalee, I-I" I watched him as he gather his words.

"I" he's blushing furiously while fidgeting his hands

"I what? Allen-kun…"

"I li-"

But before Allen can finish his sentence my brother came and dragged me along so I said my goodbye to him promising to come back tomorrow. As I looked back at him, disappointment is imprinted on his face but he still sends me his warm smile.

***BootsOfDespair***

I didn't know I just wanted to go there earlier. I run as fast as I can 'I wanted to know what Allen-kun's going to tell me' I keep running and running towards the direction of the circus. I check my list of places that I would pass so I wouldn't get lost. After the never ending run I halted in front of a big tree

I looked around 'this spot, the circus tent is supposed to be here…No I must be lost…stupid! I always went there but still manage to get lost' I looked everywhere, searching clue for the missing circus. Then it hits me the circus is gone. "Allen-kun…" my knees started to quiver as I broke down into tears. I wanted to see him so much, I wanted to hear his voice again and I wanted to know what he's going to say to me.

But then I'm too late, if only my feet can run faster…I could have…no, maybe I wouldn't be also in time because knowing a circus it will go the night after its last performance.

I just cried under the big tree as I try to remember him and his last smile to me.

"M-my first love is gone"

REVIEWS are very much appreciated...THANKS FOR READING