Why Armstrong Sparkles…
A/N: Crackfic for my bestie's birthday! Happy birthday, Tc! I was bored. And I wanted to write something. And it was my friend's b-day. So I wrote.
Disclaimer: Me no own. Seriously. But if someone wants to sell me the rights…
15 Reasons Why Armstrong Sparkles…
Muscular men who enjoy removing their shirts ALWAYS sparkle. Duh.
Armstrong: CLEARLY! MY FATHER AND I BOTH SPARLKE VERY WELL!
Those annoying sparkles are secretly stalking him.
Armstrong: I picked them up while visiting a circus…
He bought the sparkles at the county fair.
Armstrong: They cost 250 cenz.
He's secretly a MAGICIAN!
Armstrong: How did you find out? The art of secret-keeping has been passed down through the Armstrong family line for GENERATIONS!
Sparkling is just one of those weird habits you can't get rid of…
Armstrong: That and removing my shirt…
It's just a hobby.
Armstrong: I picked it up while at the Acadamy.
Armstrong's a sparkle magnet. Really. Sparkles stick to him.
Armstrong: It can get quite troublesome…
The art of sparkling has been passed down through the Armstrong family line for GENERATIONS!
Armstrong: This is true.
It's part of his alchemy training.
Armstrong: It's harder than surviving in the desert for a month.
He collects sparkles.
Armstrong: I got my first one when I was a boy!
He's unable to get rid of them.
Armstrong: They're like glue!
He said something about them bringing out the color of his eyes…
Armstrong: No, no, no! The SHAPE of my eyes!
It's a guy thing.
Armstrong: Yes, true. You wouldn't get it. Sparkling is a male talent in the Armstrong family line.
He's an Edward Cullen-type sparkly vampire.
Armstrong: Who is this Edward Cullen you speak of? Is he manly?
He just feels like sparkling.
Armstrong: It's very comforting, actually.
A/N: I hope you like my first attempt at writing a fic I like enough to actually post! Reviews make me high, and then I give you pie! (No, I don't REALLY get high. I just needed something that rhymed with pie.) Hope I made you laugh!