SAY YOU LOVE ME
It was about two in the morning when Oliver woke up from the incessant knocking on the front door of the loft he and Thea were living in. His phone buzzed and lit up as he sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It was a text from Thea.
[OPEN. THE. DAMN. DOOR. ALREADY.]
Oliver scoffed and shook his head, dropping the phone back on his nightstand. He hurried out of his room, down the stairs and to the door, not thinking twice about maybe putting on a shirt before opening the door in the middle of the night but just going shirtless. Someone was calling out his name, the pounding on the door not stopping.
"I'm coming." He called out while he was going through the cabinet for the keys of the multiple locks, but the noise didn't stop.
Once the door was open he was barely able to catch the mess of blonde hair and long limbs that fell forward into his arms. He staggered backwards and narrowed his eyes to look at her face.
"Felicity?!"
"Oliver! I missed you!" She shoved the hair out of her face and scrambled to her feet, which seemed impossible in the six inch heels she was wearing. She wobbled on her feet and Oliver had to steady her again.
"What are you doing here?" He asked, looking her over, unconsciously checking to see if she had been hurt.
She closed her eyes for a second and let her head loll, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer.
"You." She pointed at him. "And I." The finger turned to point at herself. "Need to talk."
Oliver could smell the alcohol on her breath and pulled up his nose. He pulled her inside, never letting go of her waist as he closed and locked the door back up.
"Felicity, you're drunk. I really don't think now is the time."
"what?! NO! I'm perfectly fine." She pushed away from his bare chest and stumbled against one of the pillars. She gripped it tight and smiled sheepishly at him.
"See?" she giggled.
Oliver crossed his arms over his chest and lifted an eyebrow at her.
"How much did you drink?" He asked, stepping closer, offering her a hand, which she took.
"I don't know. There was really good wine, and vodka I think." His free arm wrapped around her, hand landing on her elbow as he lead her towards the kitchen and helped her up on a barstool.
"Oh!" She snorted. "And those shots that they put on fire." She rested her arms on the flat surface of the bar and let her head fall down as she laughed.
"I like those shots." She snickered, her torso shaking with laughter.
"Let me get you some water." He said calmly, stroking her back, doubtful whether or not to leave her side. Slowly, he let his hand fall away and he walked around the bar to get her a glass of water.
Her laughter abruptly stopped and she lifted her head off of the bar and stared at him. His gaze turned in her direction as he filled up the glass.
"What is it?" He asked. She narrowed her eyes.
"You keep changing the subject."
Damnit. He thought. Even when she was hammered she was still outsmarting him.
"Fine. What did you wanna talk about?"
She took a sip from the glass he handed her, resting her elbows on the bar when she put it back, hands cradling her face. She was pouting a little bit and it looked utterly adorable.
"You never touch me anymore." She said quietly.
"Like, on my shoulder, you used to always touch my shoulder. You don't do that anymore. I miss it." Her right hand fell away from her face and moved to her shoulder, bright pink nails in stark contrast with the soft creamy skin. Oliver face fell and he sighed, shaking his head a little and crossing his arms over his chest. He missed touching her, too.
"Felicity…"
"What?! Tell me I'm wrong." She crossed her arms on the bar and rested her head on top of them, pleading eyes looking up at Oliver.
"You're not wrong." He said, stepping closer to the bar and leaning his elbows on the surface, hands only inches away from hers.
"After what happened between us it was just easier, to keep my distance."
Felicity nodded and let her eyes fall shut. She groaned, a single tear slipping from the corner of her eye.
"I think I'm gonna be sick." She whispered.
Oliver's hand fell over hers, squeezing softly. Felicity opened her eyes and looked at him. He smiled at her and ran a hand over her hair.
"Let's get you into bed."
She nodded and then he was gone, walking around the bar to help her.
"Are you good to walk?" He asked as she hopped off the barstool, immediately gripping his arm to keep her balance.
"I guess not." He said, smiling softly, scooping her up into his arms bridal style. She rested her head against his shoulder, arms wrapped around his neck.
"You're an idiot." She murmured against his skin as he carried her up the stairs and into his bedroom, gently placing her on the bed.
She hummed softly, she sheets silky soft against her skin. Oliver moved to the foot of the bed and crouched down, unbuckling the clasps on her heels, gently tugging the shoes off and putting them on the ground next to him. Standing up, he walked to his closet and pulled a light blue dress shirt from it for her to wear.
"I have something for you to wear if you want. I know how much you like these." He said, a little hesitant, if maybe he shouldn't ask a drunk female to undress. He hadn't had any problem with it before, but this was Felicity, and as much as he had already screwed up their relationship, he didn't want to ruin it even more.
She smiled and nodded slowly. "Yes. Thank you."
"Do you need help?"
"Just with the zipper at my back." She sat up and gestured behind her. "Besides, you've already seen me in my bra, it's no big deal."
She knew exactly why he was being so careful, and normally she probably would have thought about undressing in front of Oliver more, but she was tired and not feeling well and she really wanted to wear that dress shirt to bed instead of the tight black dress.
"Actually, I haven't." He said, dropping the shirt on the bed and walking around her to help her with her zipper.
Felicity frowned and then giggled. "But I got shot, I have the scar to prove it. Don't tell me you didn't sneak a peek."
Oliver scoffed and shook his head, even though she couldn't see. He pulled the zipper down and gently pushed the right half off of her shoulder, his fingers running over the scar she had mentioned. Her breathing stilled for a second before he quickly pulled away and walked back around her.
"No. I …uhm, I didn't."
Her eyes went a little wider. "Oh. Okay then, close your eyes. I'll be really quick."
She tilted her head to the side, a wicked gleam in her eyes as she smirked. "Unless you wanna peek, of course."
Oliver chuckled. "You get ready, I'll get you some water and aspirin for in the morning."
"Thank you." She smiled gratefully and reached out to squeeze his hand.
Oliver disappeared into the bathroom adjoined to his bedroom, taking his time, so Felicity could change and he could sort out his thoughts. Felicity was right, things were awkward between them and he missed her. So much. Having to accept that she wouldn't be waiting for him was one the hardest things he had ever had to do, but given the fact that he had pushed her away, he couldn't blame her and he wanted her to be happy. It was the fact that it wouldn't be with him that pained him the most. He was so scared that something would happen to her, and then it did. Not because he was Oliver Queen, or the Arrow, but because she was Felicity Smoak, and she had demons in her past that he never even considered she could have. He should have, because a person was bound to have experienced some rough patches in their life to turn out as strong as she was.
If he hadn't believed it already, she surely had proved to him that she wasn't only strong on the inside, but could handle herself when she had whacked Cooper in the face with his own gun. He had never been more proud. That made him rethink things, and he may have realized how stupid he had been to push her away.
When he walked back into his bedroom, she was sprawled out across his bed wearing his dress shirt, hair a mess of curls, fingers stroking the soft sheets. It felt like a punch to the gut. It felt like a switch flipped somewhere deep inside of him. He wanted this. Wanted her. With him, by his side, wearing his dress shirts. Waking up to see her gorgeous face next to him. But he couldn't. Because he had ruined that chance for them.
He walked around the bed and put the glass of water and the aspirin on the bedside table.
"C'mon. Let's get some sleep okay?" he said, smiling softly as he started tugging the comforter down so she could slip underneath it. She hummed in exhaustion and snuggled into the pillows. Oliver sighed softly at the sight and tucked her in.
"Even if I don't touch you so often anymore, the way I feel about you hasn't changed." He whispered.
"Why do you always do that?" She asked, frowning a little.
"Do what?" He frowned, and sat down on the edge of the bed.
She swallowed. "Tell me you love me without really saying it."
Oliver stiffened. He was quiet for a while and then smiled softly and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
"Because I shouldn't be telling you at all. It only makes things harder and more complicated."
"It doesn't have to." A hopeful smile appeared on her lips.
"I know."
He smiled at her and squeezed her hand before standing up, turning off the lamp on the bedside table and walking towards the couch on the other side of his room.
"Where are you going?" Felicity whined.
"I can take the couch tonight."
"What?! No! There's plenty of space right here! We're both adults. We can sleep in the same bed…right? We can."
"Really, it's okay Felicity. It's just one night. Or well, half a night."
"Get in the damn bed, Oliver."
Oliver sighed and shook his head in defeat. He walked around the bed and climbed in on the opposite side.
"See? Better, right?" She giggled.
He smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah. Goodnight, Felicity."
"Night, Oliver."
She passed out pretty quickly, but Oliver couldn't quite fall asleep just yet as he lay contemplating what to do next so he could patch things up with Felicity. He started at her sleeping form for a while. It wasn't until she reached out for him in her sleep and snuggled against him. He knew he should have done something about it, but she was so soft, and warm, a welcome weight against his side.
"I love you, Felicity." He whispered into her hair and let the darkness, the once not so menacing darkness pull him under.
He really shouldn't have been that surprised when he woke up with her still in his arms. Her hand resting just above his heart, head on his shoulder and his arm around her back. He should have seen it coming from a mile away, really.
He stared at her for a while. The sunlight peeking through the curtains fell across her face. He watched her eyelashes flutter as she subconsciously licked her chapped lips. There were splotches of mascara and eyeliner underneath her eyes where it had failed to stay in place during the night and her hair was a tangled mess. She had never looked more gorgeous.
He could hear Thea coming up the stairs and he was desperately hoping that she wouldn't…
"Ollie?!" She yanked open the door. Too bad. He should've wished harder. His finger flew up to his lips to silence her, eyes wide as his gaze met his sister's.
Felicity stirred and cracked open an eye. "Why the yelling?" She moaned quietly as her eyes adjusted to the light and she turned around in Oliver's grasp to realize where she was and jerked upwards into a sitting position.
"….oh." and then her eyes flew to Thea "OH!"
Thea's face looked apologetic and she swallowed. "I….uhm…sorry. I didn't know you had company."
"Oh god! NO! I'm not company! I'm not…We're not.." Felicity gestured between her and Oliver and then, when she realized it was hopeless, buried her face in her hands.
"Wait. Was that you at the door last night?"
Felicity looked back up and put some distance between her and Oliver.
"Yes. I'm so sorry about that. I was pretty drunk and I lost my keys, so I intended to get Oliver's copy but in my drunken state that clearly didn't work out."
"That's okay." Thea said, smiling softly.
"Wait. You lost your keys?" Oliver put a hand on Felicity's shoulder, eyebrows knitting together.
"Yeah…I didn't even manage to get to that point. My brain was otherwise occupied."
She glanced at Oliver and for a second he wondered how much she remembered of the previous night. The innuendo didn't go unnoticed. Well, if your last name was Queen, because Smoak was definetely oblivious.
"Oh-kay… I'm gonna leave you two alone. I came to tell you I was leaving for the club and that there's pancake batter in the fridge if you want some."
Oliver nodded. "okay. Thanks, Speedy."
Thea smiled and pointed at the door. "I'm gonna go now. Bye Felicity." She smirked on her way out.
"Bye." Felicity said quietly, groaning in mortification as the door fell shut, falling back against the pillows.
"Oh god. My head hurts." She complained.
Oliver reached across her to grab the aspirin and the glass of water still sitting on the bedside table.
"There's a reason I put these here last night, you know."
"My hero." She said in relief as she took the drugs from him and swallowed them with two big gulps of water.
"I promise I'll be out of your way asap. I'll just change and maybe ask you for that key and then…."
Oliver put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her. "Felicity, take your time, It's Saturday. Go take a shower, I'll get you some clothes from Thea to borrow and make us some breakfast, okay."
She nodded and smiled. "Okay. Thanks."
"Any time." He squeezed her shoulder for a second and slipped from between the covers. Felicity watched him as he walked over to his dresser and pulled a t-shirt from the drawer.
"So we're not gonna talk about last night?" She asked, sitting up and tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Oliver pulled the t-shirt over his head, eyebrows knitting together, looking at her almost pleadingly, but also a bit confused. He stuck his arms out of the sleeves and pulled the shirt down his torso.
"You told me you love me." She said quietly, gaze meeting his as she paused and looked down at her hands, fingers fumbling with the edge of the comforter. "Again."
Oliver sighed and sad down on the foot of the bed.
"And not without really saying it this time. And don't even think about denying it."
"You heard that did you?"
She nodded. "Yeah."
"Soo…" Oliver trailed off.
"Look, I know you made your choice and I made mine but…."
She looked up, sad smile on her face. "But damnit, I love you too."
Taking a deep breath, she tilted her head to the side and watched him as he processed what she had just said. It took him a second to get his limbs to move but he was right in front of her a moment later, faces only inches apart, breaths mingling.
"Say it again." He whispered.
A breathy laugh escaped from her lips and she smiled brightly at him. Just like she had on their first date before everything had gone to hell. She reached out without averting her gaze, fingers linking with his against the covers.
"I love you, Oliver Queen."
He smiled and very, almost agonizingly slowly, he leaned in. His lips were soft against hers, moving slowly, playfully. Both were smiling. Oliver squeezed her hand and scooted a little closer when she rested her other hand on his shoulder, slowly trailing to the back of his neck and into his hair.
"What about...you know." She asked, putting her forehead against his.
Oliver smiled softly and gazed into her eyes. "I was wrong. I don't wanna die down there."
He pecked her on the lips again. "I want to live. With you."
She chuckled and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his lips back onto hers. His hands trailing along her neck, lips soon following in their wake, gently pushing his dress shirt off of her shoulder he slowly began to realize he hadn't come across the obstacle better known as a bra-strap. He lifted his head so he could look at her, eyebrows knitted together, mouth in half a smile as he softly trailed his fingers along her collarbone.
"What?" She asked. "Don't tell me you thought women wear a bra to bed."
He shrugged and she laughed before his lips latched onto hers again. So much for putting on that t-shirt.