Chapter 1: The First Voyage!
In a field on Cybertron, Jazz walks up the road, passing Ironhide.
"'Sup, Ironhide?" Jazz said.
"Afternoon."
"Great day, yo."
"Eh, 'tis that."
Jazz notices something odd on the field: "Electro-sheep?"
"Yep."
"Thought so...only...er... why are they up in the trees, yo?"
"A fair question and one that in recent weeks has been much on my mind. It's my considered opinion that they're nesting."
"Like cyberbirds or some other crazy shit?"
"Ar. Exactly. Cyberbirds is the key to the whole problem. It's my belief that these electrosheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're cyberbirds. Observe their behavior. Take for a start the electrosheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their back legs."
The two watch a pair of electrosheep walking around on two legs.
Ironhide continues with, "Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet."
They watch a electrosheep try to fly and fail.
"Observe for example that electrosheeo in that oak tree. She is clearly trying to teach her sparklamb to fly."
A sparklamb suffers the same fate as the electrosheep.
"Talk about the blind leading the blind."
"But why do they think they're birds? Have they been in some shit?" Jazz askes.
"Another fair question. One thing is for sure; a electrosheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin'," Ironhide pauses as another sheep hits the ground, "As you see. As for flight, its body is totally unadapted to the problems of aviation. Trouble is, electrosheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their heads, there's no shifting it."
"But where did they get the idea from, yo?"
"From Harold ." Ironhide answered, "He's that electrosheep there over under the elm. He's that most dangerous of animals, a clever electrosheep. He's the ring-leader. He has realized that a electrosheep's life consists of standing around for a few months and then being used as a power battery. And that's a depressing prospect for an ambitious electrosheep. He's patently hit on the idea of escape."
"Well why don't you just get rid of Harold, dude?"
"Because of the enormous commercial possibilities should he succeed." Ironhide said.
"Like what, yo?"
Two Frenchmechs, Skids and Mudflap stand in front of a diagram of a electrosheep adapted for flying.
"Bonsoir - ici nous avons les diagrammes modernes d'un mouton anglo-français ... maintenant ... baa-aa, baa-aa... nous avons, dans la tête, le cabinc. Ici, on se trouve le petit capitaine Anglais, Monsieur Trubshawe." Skids begins
Mudflap adds, "Vive Brian, wherever you are."
"D'accord, d'accord. Maintenant, je vous présente mon collègue, le pour célèbre, Jean-Brian Zatapathique."
Skids removes his fake mustache and slaps it on Mudflap.
Mudflap rebegins by saying, "Maintenant, le mouton ... le landing ... les wheels, bon."
He opens the diagram to show wheels on the electrosheep's legs.
"Bon, les wheels, ici." Skids comments
"C'est formidable, n'est ce pas ..." Mudflap, unintelligibly, indicates a motor at rear of electrosheep.
"Les voyageurs ... les bagages ... ils sont ... ici!"
The ROTF Twins triumphantly opens the rest of the diagram to reveal the whole brilliant arrangement. They run round flapping their arms and baa-ing.
"Have they gone nuts?" Sideswipe wonders.
Beast Wars Megatron: And now, for something COMPLETELY different. Yes...
G1 Kickback is busy writing something. He looks at the piece of paper, then giggles, then laughs, then goes full out hysterical laughing, then...
"HAHAHA-GURK!"
Kickback falls down, DEAD. Whatever he just wrote was lethal. No one could read the paper, and live.
Catching wind of this, the Decepticons began copying the paper, and sending it over to the Autobots.
"Optimus! E-Message for you!" Jazz yelled.
"From Megatron? Read it."
"Okay." Jazz looked it over, then died laughing.
"JAZZ! NO! NOT LIKE THE 2007 MOVIE!" Optimus yelled, before looking up and seeing the message.
Optimus began reading it, then said, "That's what killed Jazz? A picture of an orange?"
Me: Well, it's been fun, but I have to go. Don't worry. Next chapter will be funnier, cooler, and cause YOU to die laughing. Stay tuned for another episode of...
Cast: Monty CyberPython's Flying Circus!