A/N: It has been WAY too long so I've written stuff. I'll try to do more since summer's coming up. Yay!
Anyway, Kiva, angst, smut, not much more.
Is Love Enough?
Kate sat quietly on the cool kitchen floor. She held her knees close to her body as her head rested on top. Another tear fell from her eye, traveling down her cheek.
She could hear a gentle knock on her front door. Ignoring the sound, Kate continued to sit there, a quiet sob escaping from her. She instantly pressed her knees closer to her body, hugging herself tighter as the tears flooded from her eyes. She was in no condition to see who it was at her door. All Kate wanted to do was sit there and cry. She wanted to cry out all the pain she was experiencing.
Another gentle knock came and again the brunette ignored it. She guessed that the person would eventually get tired of waiting and would leave her alone. Lifting her head, Kate leaned back, resting against the wooden cabinet. Taking a deep breath, the brunette remembered the incidents that had led to her pain.
Ziva walked into the living room and saw Kate sitting on the couch. The older woman absently stared at the wall, her mind wandering as she thought about her current relationship.
"Caitlin, is everything alright?" Ziva asked, her words flowing through Kate's ears.
Kate did not respond, afraid of how her words would affect the younger Israeli.
Ziva walked over to the other woman, sitting beside her on the couch. Grabbing Kate's hand, Ziva asked, "Will you tell me what is bothering you?"
Kate looked down at their hands, Ziva's fingers intertwined with her own. Looking up, the brunette's eyes met with deep dark ones similar to her own. Kate looked hard into Ziva's eyes, wishing that Ziva would understand what she was thinking so she would not have to say it.
Ziva nodded, she understood. She could read the worry and confusion written on the brunette's features. "You are confused." It was not a question but more of a statement.
"Yes." Kate clarified. Her voice was broken as she forced it from her throat.
Ziva lifted their hands, leaving a soft kiss on Kate's before looking back to the woman's eyes, "Would you like to talk about it?"
There was a short silence between them as Kate began to think, sorting her thoughts out. "I don't know anymore." Kate began. She knew how she felt about Ziva but she did not think it was enough anymore.
Ziva remained silent, patiently waiting for Kate to sort through what she wanted to say.
"I love you. I love you so much, Zi. I'm just not sure if love is enough." Kate's eyes dropped, her gaze concentrating on their still linked hands.
Ziva placed a soft hand under Kate's chin. Lifting the brunette's face slightly, Ziva said, "It can be enough. If you let it."
Kate stood, her eyes still focused on Ziva's as she began to pace around the room, "It's not that simple."
Shaking her head, Kate continued, her words aimed more to herself than to the younger woman. "My mother hardly speaks to me; my father only does what my mother tells him."
"We are Catholic, Caitlin. Catholic!" Kate said, imitating her mother's voice.
Ziva was not sure of what to say. She was never close to her family; she did not know what a close family was like. "I am sorry, Caitlin." The Israeli whispered.
Kate continued, expressing her fear and confusion about their current relationship. She was tired of all the hiding. She hated how every day they would go into NCIS and act as just friends only to come home to their shared apartment as lovers.
"I love you, Ziva. I love you with everything in me but because I love you, I'm faced with so many difficulties." A single tear began to fall from Kate's eye.
Ziva's voice was soft, barley above a whisper, as she said, "This is my fault."
Kate turned, her eyes meeting Ziva's. "This is not your fault, Ziva."
"It is." Ziva stated. "I am the cause of all your problems. You should not have to live with this." The Israeli stood; she gently kissed Kate's forehead, the kiss lasted for a few moments as she dreaded her next move. Looking into Kate's deep, beautiful chocolate eyes Ziva said, "I love you, Caitlin. More than anything I have ever loved, but I cannot stay knowing that I am causing you this pain. I do not want you to suffer."
Kate shook her head, worry evident on her features, "What do you mean you 'cannot stay?'"
Ziva hugged the older woman tight, pressing their bodies as close together as possible. "Live your life, Caitlin. Enjoy the time you have." Ziva said before she began to walk towards the door.
"No. No!" Kate demanded as she followed Ziva, grabbing the Israeli, looking her in the eyes, "You can't leave me! My mother left, my father with her. My siblings all left except Rachel. You are all I have."
Ziva looked sadly at Kate, her voice becoming thick from the pain in her chest. "It is for the best. You deserve to be happy."
"I am happy." Kate stated, tears welling up in her eyes. She could not lose the woman she loved. "Please, stay with me. I love you, Ziva. Please, don't leave me. I'm just confused, but I want you. I need you!"
Ziva grabbed her keys and coat next to the door as she reached for the handle, "I am sorry, Caitlin."
Before the Israeli could leave, Kate did the only thing she could think of. Grabbing the younger woman, Kate kissed her. It was a passionate kiss, filled with the love the women had for each other. The brunette's hands cupped Ziva's face while Ziva's hands wrapped around Kate's body, pulling the woman close to her.
The kiss was strong, causing Ziva to forget everything except Kate. All of her focus was aimed to Kate and their lips moving in unison. But slowly, Ziva began to remember their earlier discussion and that she needed to leave. She did not want to but she needed to walk out the door and give Kate a chance to a happy life. One that included her family. One that included a man.
Pushing the older woman away, Ziva whispered, "I'm so sorry." She placed a gentle hand on Kate's cheek, wiping the single tear that fell. Looking at the woman she loved, Ziva felt her heart ache deep in her chest. And quickly she turned, walked out the door and out of Kate's life.
Now Kate was sitting alone on her kitchen floor. Tears flowed from her eyes. Ziva was gone, the woman she loved had left her.
The gentle knocking continued, and Kate once again ignored the persistent sound. A few minutes passed before she heard a key turning, and her front door opening. Figuring it was Abby, Kate made no movements.
"Caitlin." Kate heard the thick accent ring through her ears.
Kate looked up to see Ziva. She noticed how red the younger woman's eyes looked, indicating that she too had been crying. Moving to sit next to Kate, Ziva opened her arms to the other woman. Kate naturally fell into them, more sobs escaping from her.
"I'm so sorry." Ziva began, tears forming in her own eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you. I love you so much, Caitlin."
Kate dug her head further into Ziva, between her tears, the older woman asked, "How could you leave me?"
Ziva kissed the brunette's hair, replying, "I'm sorry. I did not want to but I thought it would be better for you. I'm here though. I'm never leaving you again. I promise. I'm so sorry."
Kate lifted her head, searching in Ziva's eyes for the genuine promises. "I love you." She whispered softly.
"I love you." Ziva said in an equally soft tone.
Cupping the woman's face, Ziva leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was gentle yet passionate, their lips joining together as they expressed their love.
Ziva broke the kiss, holding Kate's face as their foreheads rested on one another's. "Let me show you."
Kate nodded slowly, "Please."
Ziva stood, her hand offered out to help the brunette. Kate responded, grabbing Ziva's hand as she stood. Ziva led them to the bedroom where they could show their love to one another.
Kate was lying on the bed, Ziva positioned on top of her. Their lips connected together, tongues dancing between mouths. Neither of them had the control, they worked together, lips moving, bodies pressed together as they formed one person.
Air became a necessity, so Ziva broke the kiss, her lips moving to Kate's neck. She decorated the smooth skin with kisses and licks as she moved further down.
In between kisses Ziva spoke soft, loving phrases, showing Kate how much she loved her and emphasizing the promises she intended to keep. "I love you, Caitlin."
Her olive, tan hands roamed over the brunette's body, marveling on Kate's beautiful curves. "I love everything about you."
Leaving a gentle suck on the woman's collarbone, Ziva reveled in the cream colored flesh. "You are beautiful."
The Israeli's fingers slipped under Kate's shirt as her lips traveled back up, continuing to kiss various places on the woman's neck. "I am sorry for hurting you."
Kate's body gave a slight shudder from Ziva's touch. She could feel all the emotions she felt earlier escape her body, leaving on the feel of Ziva.
Ziva's lips kissed the soft flesh behind the woman's ear, whispering, "I will never leave you again."
Tears gathered in the back of Kate's eyes as she heard the many promises Ziva made to her. Closing her eyes tight, she refrained from letting them fall.
Ziva kissed Kate's eye lids gently, "Open your eyes for me, Caitlin. I want to see how beautiful they are."
Kate complied, opening her eyes, staring into Ziva's. Ziva offered a sweet smile to Kate, her hand moving up to stroke the woman's cheek as she mouthed a 'thank you.'
The Israeli's hands moved to the hem of Kate's shirt, slowly lifting it up and over the woman. Tossing it away, Ziva bent her head down and began to kiss the woman's smooth, toned stomach, her tongue running with the outline of Kate's abs.
A slight moan escaped from Kate, her hands gripping the bed sheets.
Ziva kissed the older woman's belly button before she moved up to remove Kate's bra. Freeing the brunette's breast, Ziva discovered white, milky skin surrounding two pinkish erect nipples.
"So beautiful." Ziva said again, her eyes meeting Kate's as she descended down, taking a nipple between her lips.
Giving the nipple a hard suck, Ziva was able to pull another moan out of Kate. The Israeli's fingers rubbed against the other pink nub, causing Kate's chest to arch up, silently begging for more contact.
A few more sucks and licks, then Ziva gave the nipple a gentle kiss before switching to the other, giving it the same pleasure.
Finished with Kate's nipples, Ziva moved down, leaving a trail of kisses down to the woman's pant hem. Slipping her fingers past the clothing and past Kate's panties, Ziva kissed the older woman's lower abdomen while her fingers rubbed around Kate's center.
"Mmmm….Ziva." Kate moaned. She could feel the burning in her stomach begin to form, the wetness between her legs growing strong.
Ziva removed the brunette's pants, sliding them down her slender hips and off of her legs. Kissing Kate's center through her thin panties, Ziva could feel how wet the older woman was.
Slipping her thumbs under the panties, she slowly dragged them down and off of Kate. Ziva kissed the woman's inner thighs while a single finger rubbed through Kate's folds.
"Please….. Ziva." Kate moaned, her eyes closing, her lips parting.
Ziva kissed closer and closer to the woman's center, giving the sensitive bundle a sweet, long, loving kiss. "You are everything to me." The Israeli stated, her hand grabbing Kate's from the sheets, entwining their fingers together.
A loud gasp escaped from Kate as Ziva's lips surrounded her clit, giving it a hard suck. Kate's hips arched up, grinding into Ziva while her mouth moved in different motions on the woman's clit.
"Fuck!" Kate exclaimed, the hand not holding Ziva's tangled into long, dark curls.
Ziva dragged her tongue from the woman's clit to her entrance. Dipping her tongue deep into Kate, Ziva could taste the distinct flavor of the brunette. Her tongue moved in and out of Kate, starting at a slower pace while her thumb rubbed circles on the woman's clit at a similar pace.
Another moan came from Kate, this one louder mixed with incoherent words.
Ziva picked up the pace, her motions growing faster and harder. Taking a quick breath, Ziva asked, "Please forgive me?" before moving her tongue back into the woman.
Kate's mind was already gone; the only reply that came from her was a loud mumble as her body drew closer to orgasm. With a few more thrusts of her tongue, Ziva could feel Kate's inner walls begin to contract as her body came close to release.
Forcefully rubbing at the woman's clit, Ziva's thrusts began to get harder as she forced her tongue deeper into Kate. And with only three more thrusts, Ziva sent Kate into orgasm.
As Kate's body filled with pleasure, she screamed out different profanities also repeating 'Ziva' over and over.
Slowing her motions, Ziva removed her thumb, but continued with soft and slow thrusts of her tongue as Kate rode out her orgasm.
While Kate came down from her high, Ziva removed her tongue and traveled up the brunette's body. The Israeli removed her clothing, pressing their naked bodies close together, skin connecting with skin.
Ziva held Kate close, her arms wrapping around the woman. "I love you." The Israeli whispered, kissing Kate's temple softly.
Kate's head rested on Ziva, she kissed the dark skin on Ziva's neck, "I forgive you, Zi."
A soft smile formed on Ziva's lips as she bent down to give Kate a sweet kiss.
The two women began to drift, their bodies falling into sleep. Kate could hear the light snores that indicated Ziva had fallen asleep. Placing a gentle kiss on the sleeping woman's lips, Kate whispered, "I love you," before allowing her own body to sleep.