disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN Final Fantasy 9 or any of its characters and other things to do with it.(no matter how mush i with i did) __________________________________

We join our heros on top of a mountain near Kuja's Palace. Kuja has captured them and tied them to poles.

Kuja: .........

(Dagger and Eiko wake up)

Kuja: grrrrrr.......

Dagger: WTF is goin on Kuja!!!!!! (while starin into space)

Kuja: ....... (put on purple lipstick and eyeshadow)

Eiko: (looks at Dagger) Why's he puuting on make-up?

Dagger: (smiles evily at Eiko) Cause he likes you.

Eiko: (jumps and fights against the bonds) AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

(Freya and Vivi wake up)

Freya: (looks around and squeaks) squeak squeak........... SQUEAK!!!!!!!

Everyone awake: ............

Dagger: Why are we traveling with a giant rat?

Kuja: (looks at Freya) squeak squeak squeak?

Freya: SQUEAK!!!!!!!

Kuja: I see............ (unties Freya and releases her into the wild)

( Freya runs away laughing)

Dagger: Why'd u let her go?

Kuja: I stole her soul, so i don't need her anymore (laughs evily)

Dagger, Eiko, and Vivi: ............. lame

Kuja: Is not........

Dagger, Eiko, and Vivi: ............. lame

Kuja: IS NOT........

Dagger, Eiko, and Vivi: ............. lame

Kuja: IS NOT!!!!!!!

Dagger, Eiko, and Vivi: ............. w/e

(steiner and Quina wake up)

Quina:.........

everyone: (looks at quina) uh oh......

(Quina takes a deep breath)

(everyone struggles against the ropes and covers thier ears)

Kuja: Whats it doing?

(Quina holds its breath for suspense and eyes Kuja)

Kuja: Why is it looking at me that way? (scared look on his face)

Quina:........

Quina:.......

(everyone stares at Quina)

Quina:................. YUMMY YUMMIES!!!!!!!!!!!!

(everyone screams as Quina pulls out the pole and runs after Freya trying to eat her)

Freya: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! (she runs like death is chasing her)

Kuja: HEY, she said she was an evil rat, not a talking one!!!!!!!

(everyone gives Kuja a weird look)

everyone:......... dumbass

(Zidane and Amarant wake up)

Kuja: Good, your finally awake

Zidane and Amarant: Who?

Kuja: You

Zidane and Amarant together: Me?

Kuja: Yes, you

together: which one?

Kuja: You.

everyone else:...........

:::::::::::::::::::::::::AN HOUR LATER::::::::::::::::

Zidane: Me?

Kuja: yes

Amarant: Me too?

Kuja: YES!!!!!!!!

everyone else: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!

(Kuja, Zidane and Amarant glare at everyone else)

Kuja: Anyway...... as I was gonna tell you all, this (walks to a big gun looking thingy) is yours and your planets doom (pulls away sheet covering the big gun looking thingy)

everyone:.............

Zidane: Whats that big gun looking thingy do?

Kuja: WHO TOLD YOU ITS NAME?????!!!!!!!!

(everyone gives Kuja a wierd look)

Kuja: WAS IT THE AUTHOR???!!!!!!!! (he looks to the sky)

Cav (a.k.a. the author): (in a booming voice) And what if it was?!!!

Kuja: If it was you, I'd shoot you with my (holds up hand pointing to the sky) BIG GUN LOOKING THINGY!!!!!

Cav: O, YA?!!

(big hand comes out of sky and points the Big Gun Looking Thingy at Kuja)

________________________

What will happen next? Will I fry Kuja? Make Dagger a frog? Or make the characters go on in a stupid way? Tune in next time to find out!!!!!!

plz reveiw (1st fic)