A.N. This is my first attempt at a slash fic, but this idea has been playing around for a while, so I finally decided to try and put it down on paper. Please read and review, even to tell me how rubbish it is, I would love any feedback!
This story is dedicated to my new boyfriend, as we've just celebrated one month together. He always makes me feel like a woman!
Feel like a woman
"Feel like a woman, Doc?" Sam asked.
"Oh yeah," Janet said, as the man was dragged away from her, and his hands restrained behind his back, as the other SF guard who had been knocked unconscious was also bound and gagged.
They quickly picked up their weapons again, and ran out into the hallway. Hathor was still on the loose…
Sam awoke with a start. For a full minute she sat there, trying to figure out what was wrong. Then she realised. It was all alright, they had fought and defeated Hathor almost a full month ago, and yesterday had been the presentation ceremony of hers and Janet's commendation medals, for their bravery in defying all orders of their superiors to ensure that Earth did not fall into the hands of the Goa'uld.
She rolled over and looked up at the clock. 6:32am. Her alarm was due to go off in 13 minutes anyway. Might as well get out of bed and just arrive at the base early, she thought.
She pushed aside the way she had been feeling after that dream. She knew that dwelling on those feelings of worry would just cause her to be erratic and jumpy all day. Hathor was not on Earth, she was not about to attack, and she would not be able to get through their iris.
And she would definitely stop dwelling on those feelings of jealousy she had felt ever since she had seen Janet passionately kissing that SF guard…
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"Dismissed."
The voice of General Hammond broke through her reverie, and she on instinct stood up from the briefing table as General Hammond stood, and left the briefing room. She realised that she hadn't heard a word of their briefing to …
"Carter? You ok?" Jack asked her. She has seemed out of sorts today at the briefing, completely unaware of her surroundings.
"Yes Sir. I'm very much looking forward to our mission to-" she glanced down at the cover of the file she had on the table in front of her, "P4C-557."
"Good. That's good. It's just you seem a bit preoccupied this morning. Are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes Sir. Honestly. I just had a weird dream, that's all. Don't worry."
"Ok, Carter, see you at lunch? I hear they have pasta today in the commissary, and Daniel and Teal'c are planning on staying too."
"Sure, Sir, that sounds like fun!" Sam smiled. She liked the team gatherings they had when they were all on-base and not off-world. They had plenty off-base as well, but these ones on base always reminded her of who her real family were, and all the things they had done for each other. When you have been through as much stuff together as they did on a daily basis, you often came to appreciate those around you more.
"See you then!" she added and turned to leave.
As she walked out she heard Jack's reply.
"Yeah-sure-ya-betcha…"
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Sam sat in her lab, lost in thought. And for once, those thoughts were unwanted. She was again dwelling on those feelings of jealousy she had felt in her dream. She couldn't understand it, why was that kiss affecting her so much? It wasn't like she was in love with Janet or anything. Whoa, where had that thought come from?
As she sat there oblivious to her surroundings, a voice interrupted her.
"Hey, gorgeous, what project has you looking so worried and confused? The damn stargate better not be in major trouble again, because Cassie and I have had this evening planned for weeks, you'd better not be bailing on us last minute!"
Sam looked over at Janet who had managed to enter without Sam noticing in the slightest, due to her intense reminiscing.
"What .. uh … no, sorry! Just lost in my own thoughts!" Sam smiled.
"Good! We have all sorts of cookies and cakes and alcohol planned for tonight's movie-fest! You know how much Cassie has been looking forward to this – it's all she's talked about for the past week!"
Sam laughed, she did know how much Cassie had been looking forward to it, because Cassie had called her no fewer than 11 times in the past week to check she was still coming!
"Of course I'm coming, thought by the sounds of it my waistline will punish me for doing so! What movies has Cassie got lined up for us this time?"
"Ah … I believe they are meant to be a surprise!" Janet giggled back, knowing exactly what films Cassie had planned for them.
"Okay," Sam replied, but then seeing the manic glint in Janet's eye added, "why are you looking at me as thought I should be worried?"
"Don't worry, you don't have to be worried, but I think you're going to laugh when you see them! When Cassie first suggested them to me I definitely couldn't keep a straight face!"
"Sounds good!" Sam agreed. "I'll see you later … unless you want to join me and the guys for lunch in the commissary?" She looked at the red-head, wondering why she suddenly felt so nervous and apprehensive asking her this question, when she had asked it countless times in the past.
If Janet noticed this she didn't mention it. "Sure, Sam, sounds good! Lead the way!" she answered smiling. Sam put down what she had been doing and walked out of her lab, hoping that Janet couldn't notice the broad grin that had just affixed itself to her face.
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"Sam!" Cassie squealed, as she opened her front door. Before Sam could even walk in, Cassie leapt on her, giving her a huge hug. "I've missed you so much! How are you? What cool things have you done lately? Have you killed any more aliens? How're Jack and Teal'c and Daniel?"
"Whoa, honey, if you breathe for a second I might be able to answer one of your questions!" Sam laughed. She had missed Cassie so much, and she loved the time she got to spend with her, but due to the intense pressure of missions lately, she hadn't been able to see her lately as much as she wanted to.
Cassie giggled and let go of Sam enough that she was able to walk through the front door and put her overnight bag down. Janet was standing at the end of her hallway with an amused look on her face.
"Sorry Sam, I wasn't able to save you from hurricane Cassandra! As soon as the doorbell went she was off like a shot!"
Sam laughed as Cassie turned pink under her mother's amused expression.
"So, Cassie," said Janet, "have you asked Sam if she wants a drink yet?"
"Oh, Sam, I'm so sorry! What do you want? You can have anything! We've got juice and water and wine and beer and cider and-"
"Just a beer would be great thanks!" Sam interrupted, knowing that otherwise Cassie would be able to go forever.
"You got it!" Cassie said and rushed off to get her one from the fridge.
Sam and Janet shared an amused look, and then Janet started to lead her down the hallway. As they sat down on the couch next to each other, Sam let out a relieved sigh.
"Oh, it feels so good to relax, I'm so glad it's a Friday!"
"Not as relieved as I am!" Janet added. "Do you know all eight members of SG-11 and 12 managed to get injured within 15 minutes of each other?"
Sam laughed. "That's impressive! How many Jaffa were they fighting?"
"SG-11 were walking through the woods and all four managed to slip, 2 of them breaking ankles. And SG-12 were concluding a treaty on a different planet, and managed to annoy some animals before coming back through the stargate – puncture wounds all over them!"
"Wow!" Sam exclaimed. "Sounds like you're lucky to have made it back home in time for this!"
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world!" Janet smiled as Cassie came hurrying in, holding a beer for Sam, a beer for Janet and a glass of orange juice for herself. She looked over at Cassie, missing Sam's look of confusion, as Sam wondered why she was so happy that Janet wouldn't have missed it for the world.
"Sam? Sam? I'm sorry, I forgot did you want a glass for your beer? And I can put some ice in it if you want as well, because-"
"Yeah, Cassie, that would be great, thanks!" Sam interrupted with a grin.
As Cassie rushed off again Sam turned to Janet with an inquisitive look on her face. "By the way, Janet, how much sugar is there in tonight's meal?"
"Just some in the dessert, why?"
"Because I think Cassie may need to skip that, seeing as she's already so hyper!"
Janet laughed. "You think she's hyper now? This is nothing! You should see her after chocolate!"
Sam giggled. "I'm not sure I'll have the energy for that tonight!"
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"So, Cassie," Sam said, once they had all settled on the couch with their drinks, "what films are we watching tonight? We've already watched all of the Star Wars films, and E.T., have we run out of science fiction films yet?"
"Never!" Cassie laughed. "We have to watch science fiction films, it's a tradition. Besides, we're the only ones who can scoff at them, because we all know what aliens really look like. And on that note, here are the films for tonight!"
Cassie leapt up and pulled them from under the cushion she had been sitting on.
Sam started laughing. "The Alien trilogy! Very appropriate!"
Cassie glanced at Janet. "Mom said that even thought these films are R-rated, that I can still watch them, as long as I promise to tell you if I get scared and that I can't blame her if I get nightmares."
"Sounds good!" Sam said, having now calmed down. "So, is it food then films, or films then food, or a mixture of both?"
"We thought we'd watch the first film first, and then eat, and then watch the other 2, for the sole reason that, if we find film 1 very gruesome, we know not to eat too much as then we might start feeling a bit sick during films 2 and 3!" Janet told her.
"Excellent!" said Sam, "Let's do it!"
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As the credits for the last film rolled, Sam let out a contented sigh. She really did enjoy these evenings, they were such a great way to relax, despite hyper Cassie. She looked over at Janet who was staring down at Cassie sitting in between them. Cassie had her head on Janet's shoulder and she was fast asleep.
"I think it might be time for bed!" murmured Janet. "You know where the spare bedroom is?"
"Of course!" Sam whispered back. "I'll just go and get my stuff from the hall."
She grabbed her overnight bag and went upstairs, followed by Janet, who had half woken Cassie up and was half-supporting half-carrying her up the stairs. Sam changed into her pyjamas and then went to brush her teeth. Coming out of the bathroom she met Janet, who had been waiting to use the bathroom herself.
"Goodnight Janet!" Sam whispered in a low voice, so as not to wake Cassie, who was probably already fast asleep again.
"Goodnight honey!" Janet whispered back. "Sweet dreams!"
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"Sam…SAM! Wake-up honey, wake-up!"
Sam was suddenly jolted awake out of her dream from the voice calling to her. Opening her eyes wide she noticed Janet sitting next to her on the edge of the bed.
"Janet?" Sam questioned, "What are you doing here? What's wrong?"
"I was just going to the bathroom for a drink of water when I heard you moaning in your sleep. It sounded like you were having a nightmare, so I came in to wake you up from it. I didn't mean to startle you!"
Sam smiled. "Thanks, I wasn't enjoying it much!"
Janet looked at her friend with concern in her eyes. "You want to talk about it?"
Sam paused. "Uh …" What would Janet say if she told her about the feelings she had in that dream? Sam still wasn't sure what they meant. Well that wasn't entirely true. She knew what they meant, she just didn't know what Janet's reaction to them would be, and she didn't want to risk damaging their friendship over them.
Janet was still sitting there next to her, and she picked up Sam's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, sending tingles up Sam's hand. "Sometimes talking about nightmares helps…" she prompted.
"It was just another flashback to when Hathor had control of the SGC. I've been having a few nightmares about it in the past month."
"Sam, you don't need to worry. She's not still in control, you're safe now!" Janet said, pulling Sam into a warm hug.
Sam relaxed into her embrace allowing Janet to stroke her back. Damn, she knew it, she was lost now. She knew that she loved this woman holding her, and she knew that nothing could come of it, Janet just saw her as a friend, and there was no way of changing that.
Janet's voice jerked her out of her self-pitying thoughts.
"It's funny, I've been dreaming about that time as well!"
Sam reluctantly pulled out of her hug and looked at her, confused. "Really?"
"Yeah! I keep thinking about that time when we were seducing the airmen to get out of our holding cell. God it was dreadful having to kiss that airman!"
"Why? He wasn't that ugly was he?"
"No, its not that, its just …" Janet stopped.
Sam was surprised. "What is it Janet?"
"Uh, its just that … I'm gay. I don't like kissing men because I don't like men. That's why my marriage to my husband didn't work out." Janet stared down at the duvet. "I've never told anyone that."
Sam had often questioned her about why they broke up, and Janet had often been very vague, just mentioning a "difference of interests". So this was the difference! Suddenly all of Sam's feelings came rushing to the surface again. Janet is gay! So we could possibly have a relationship! Wait, just because she's gay doesn't mean that she automatically likes you! She just sees you as a friend.
Sam looked back at Janet who was still staring down at the duvet, obviously embarrassed. Sam reached out with her fingers, tilting Janet's chin up, forcing Janet to look her in the eyes.
"Janet, nothing's changed because of that! I promise! I still love you, you're still my friend!"
Janet smiled weakly. "You promise?"
Sam grinned back at her. "I promise! Come here!"
She pulled Janet to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek and enveloped her in a hug.
Janet hugged her back, but her mind was wandering. She had always found Sam attractive, but hadn't wanted to jeopardize their friendship. However, when Sam kissed her on the cheek she felt tingles spread out from her cheek, making her realise just how deeply she did care for this woman. Making her realise that ... she loved her. As much as she had been trying not to, she had fallen for her best friend. And Sam would never reciprocate. She allowed that heavy weight to settle in her heart, to stop herself doing something stupid, and then pulled back.
"Thanks honey" she said. And then, unable to resist the impulse, she leant forward intending to give Sam a quick peck on the cheek. At the last moment however, Sam, who was not expecting this, moved her head slightly, and their lips met briefly.
Janet pulled back quickly. "Oh Sam, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, it's just …"
Sam couldn't believe the somersault her heart had done when she felt the other woman's lips on hers, and she quickly silenced Janet's ramblings with a finger on her lips. Ever so slowly, ever so gently she cupped the other woman's cheek with her trembling fingers. Then, applying just the slightest pressure, she pulled Janet's face towards her.
Just a wisp of air separated them now.
Then their lips met.
And as a jolt of electricity passed between them, they surrendered to the feelings of happiness coursing through them.