Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Ha, I'm now un-sueable!

AN: This is my first submission for the contest on Silverumbra's forums. Let's hope the judges don't find out about the steroids I took to enhance my writing performance!

1: Zapdos

The villagers poured out of their huts to behold the coming of the great god. They saw it approach from miles away, appearing as an incandescent yellow spark on the horizon. As the creature drew nearer, he filled the sky above them with its radiance, the electrical arcs constantly jumping between his feathers giving him a glow like a second sun. It landed among his worshippers, the beating of his wings threatening to topple the nearby thatched dwellings.

The great bird appraised his followers with cruel, violet eyes. They supplicated and averted his gaze, cowering before his might. Zapdos truly did love when humans did that. The mainland of Kanto hadn't properly worshipped him in decades, having become full of arrogant, impious pokemon trainers that dared challenge him. On these small, isolated islands, pokeballs had never even been heard of. These people he could still bully with impunity.

"Welcome, O great god," said the high priest of the village, adorned in a palm-leaf headdress fashioned into the likeness of Zapdos' own head. "We have long awaited your coming. Please, grace us with your presence and please, please don't smite us," the priest semi-pleaded. He clapped his hands, and two of the village's loveliest maidens came before Zapdos, slipping wreathes of fragrant flowers around his avian neck. Two more came, offering him platters piled high with tropical fruit. The great bird gave a coo of contentment, disproportional to the being's great size and ferocity. This is the life, he thought to himself as more beautiful women came to stroke his feathers.

The great bird of lightning feasted with his subjects, pecking at the fruit like some gigantic pigeon. The villagers danced and sang, telling stories and myths about the mighty deeds of the great Zapdos. Zapdos rejoiced.

At least he did for the first few hours.

Around the fourth hour of the celebration (including the listing of Zapdos' several thousand commandments, almost all of which were completely made up), the great bird was becoming rather tired of his followers. This was fine before, but I really need some excitement now. Perhaps some smiting is in order.

He eyed his adoring followers, looking for an excuse for righteous retribution. With all the goofy commandments they listed (about a tenth of which he could remember) they had to have done something wrong. But try as he might, he could find no breach of conduct or etiquette, no faux pas or trespass. As far as he could discern, they were acting in perfect accord to his (supposed) will. Oh well, he thought, I suppose I'll have to make something up. Clearly, ticking off their god should count as some sort of sin, regardless of the reason.

Electricity began to spark across his body, incinerating the leis around his neck. The clear blue sky darkened and was consumed by purple clouds, traveling from horizon to horizon like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Zapdos always loved that effect.

The villagers looked on in growing horror, kneeling before Zapdos in the hope of gaining some mercy. "What have we done to anger you so, O mighty Zapdos?" frantically implored the high priest. "Did someone covet their neighbor's wife? Did we endorse gay marriage? Has our lack of human sacrifices displeased you? Why are you vengeful? What did we do wrong!?"

"You were boring," Zapdos called as he flew into the air above the rapidly dispersing worshippers. "Gods should not have to tolerate such niceties as yours." Of course, the villagers could not understand the language of the pokemon Zapdos, and only heard his feral cry, sounding somewhere between a crow's caw and a crack of thunder. The clouds swirled and boiled around Zapdos in the sky like ducklings trailing their parent.

Bolts of lightning, hotter than the surface of the sun and quicker than thought, arced from the jagged wings of Zapdos and struck the earth with a crack like a giant's bullwhip. They struck the ground indiscriminately, setting trees and thatched huts on fire, leaving puddles of liquefied glass where they hit the sand. From the sheer randomness of the destruction, either the great bird could not really control what he destroyed, or just didn't care. A close observer could not tell whether the flash in Zapdos' violet eyes was from the strobe effect of the lightning, or just from sheer madness.

"Yes, run, scurry, fleee!" he cawed in joy, bolts striking near the escaping humans. "None of you can dare oppose me! I am Zeus, I am Thor, I am the Thunderbird, I am GOD! I decide who lives and who dies, I strike down the unbelievers, and I am accountable to none! I am above all and…" Zapdos' psychotic tirade was cut short by the Aeroblast that streaked down through the clouds and struck him full in the back, plunging him toward the earth with enough force to leave a crater on impact.

The great god lay prone in the depression he made, feathers a mess, talon twitching in the air pathetically. The angry violet clouds parted as a silver, serpentine figure descended. She landed near the fallen Zapdos, disapproval evident on her swept-back face. "Honestly Zapdos, I can't leave you alone for one damn day without you trying to smite a village of worshippers."

The mighty Zapdos managed to right himself, looking severely ruffled and undignified but otherwise unhurt. "Oh come on Lugia, I was just having fun. What's wrong with that?" he said like a petulant child. "It's wrong because your definition of 'fun' fits most people's definition of 'casual genocide.' How do you even get worshippers, if you treat them this badly?" The Beast of the Sea questioned. "Well usually, once I purge an island of human life, the other islands tend to start offering me tribute. Weird, isn't it?"

"Look, just get back home or I'll tell Arceus about that whole 'I am God, I am accountable to none' comment," ordered Lugia. "Okay," he said like a boy who had just been grounded. He took off, headed for Lighting Island without even a backward glance. The villagers began to return to their homes (the homes that weren't on fire, that is).

The high priest and his retinue of servant girls cautiously approached Lugia, wary of their last dealings with a god. "You defeated the wicked Zapdos?" he inquired with awe. "Yeah, I do that all the time," she said off-handedly. "Hmmm," pondered the high priest, doing some theological arithmetic. Soon, he came to a conclusion. "All hail the new goddess, defeater of Zapdos!" he cried out, trying to rally support from the villagers.

"What?" Lugia said as several maidens approached her with leis. She snapped her beak at them like they were wielding some sort of weapon. "You morons, I'm not a god and neither is Zapdos! You shouldn't worship him, it only encourages the little sociopath." "Yes, we shall head your commandment not to worship false idols, O great goddess!" wailed the old priest as the other villagers began bowing before Lugia. "I just told you, I'm not a- oh, just forget it," she sighed, before flying off to follow the great bird Zapdos.

AN: So, there's my first entry in SU's contest. Judges and readers, I hope you enjoyed. Read, review, and look forward to the next installment!