I keep thinking I should be crying. Everything I love has died or slipped through my hands and I didn't stop it. I could make hundreds of excuses to say it isn't my fault or I tried, but fact is I didn't try hard enough and that makes it my fault. It doesn't matter the situation or who I betrayed; nothing changes how I wish I could change things; none of it will bring them back. I should be crying, but I simply stand here, not seeing, not living, simply existing in a living death. I miss you beyond tears.