So this takes place after 'Running'. It is a much more lighter tone that Running. I went through a few different version of this particular Epilogue, if you must, before I came to the conclusion that this one would fit. It took a while ... sorry if anyone was wanting continuation for this.. since last year! My past two semesters were brutal and I just couldn't write and do anything but try to get through it without drowning. So I do apologize, and thank you for waiting ( If you were ) and thank you for reading!
Also sorry for any grammatically mistakes, I had this for a while and just wanted to get it out after waiting for so long.
Not my best but I hope you like it!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own bleach or any of its characters.
" ... Ru..."
"Ruki...RUKIA!" I bolted up throwing the blanket off the bed panting. Sweat dripped down my face and onto my chest. Wide eye I searched the room ...nothing. Closing my eyes and taking a breath, I willed myself to calm down. A gentle knock on the door woke me from my meditation.
Could it...?
I jumped off the bed and ran to the door swinging it open. I found my wide eyed little sister in her pink pajamas staring back at me. I blinked and looked back at my clock. 4:45 am. Turning back with a puzzled face
"Yuzu...? What's wrong?" She looked up tentatively at me. She started fidgeting as if she was uncomfortable with what she wanted to ask. A minute or so passed before she opened her mouth, but someone beat her to the punch
"Ichi-nii, you screamed in your sleep." I turned to the right and there stood Karin with her arms crossed over her football T-shirt.
"I did?" Karin nodded. "What did I say perchance?" Yuzu from the corner of my eye froze and Karin's eyes , which was always so certain , changed. There was an odd look that clouded it.
Hesitation
Looking between the two I silently demanded an answer. Yuzu spoke softly
"Ichi-nii, you said a name." I said nothing gripping the door handle. Karin continued
"You said... Rukia nee-chan's name." My knuckles turned white. There was a cold silence that fell between the three of us. Yuzu slowly came closer with her outstretched hand
"Ichi-nii please-" I moved back suddenly startling her. Upon hearing her gasp I looked back up realizing my mistake. Yuzu looked like she was going to cry. Walking up I wrapped my arms around her and beckoned Karin to come. I held both my sisters for a while.
Pulling back and I bent down to their level.
"I promise, it was just a nightmare, nothing bad." Karin began to protest
"But Ichi-nii it's been so long and you still aren't over her." I flinched. Yuzu gently added
"You call her in your sleep every night. You're still grieving." My eyes were hidden from them. When I finally looked up both girls tried to stifle their gasp.
"Karin, Yuzu, thank you for thinking of me. But I promise it was just the one nightmare. It won't happen again. It's been fourteen months since ... she died, I've gotten over it a long time ago. Now go back to bed, okay? I am sorry I woke you guys up." I ruffled both of their hairs and watched them go back to their room.
When Karin closed the door, she was wide eyed. She turned to her twin who mirrored her expression
"Ichi-nii..." Yuzu whispered " Ichi-nii smiled. It was so ... broken." Karin nodded
"And his eyes Yuzu, did you see them?" Yuzu nodded " It was cold, lifeless. That isn't Ichi-nii." Yuzu looked down solemnly. There was nothing they could do.
Once I saw they shut the door I closed mine with both hands and stood there unmoving. Slowly I let them drop. Turning my back so it hit the door, I slid to the ground. My legs slightly bent and my arms lay next to me lifelessly.
The nightmare ... It happened every night since then. It torments me to see her dying, running ... alone. I call to her in my sleep. Hoping she sees me coming, coming to save her from her loneliness, her pain, her death, and every time, I am late. Then I wake up and I find that my nightmare is reality. She is dead. She's gone, and there is nothing I can do to bring her back. Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face. It's always like this.
I call her every night
Rukia...
Rukia...
Rukia...
And every night I am met with the same silence...
I opened my eyes and was greeted by the white ceiling. Sighing I turned towards my clock. 6:30 am. I should get up. There was no point of trying to fall asleep again. Pushing the covers off, I slowly tread to the bathroom and start my day. Dad still acts like a lunatic. Though to be honest, it has changed a bit. He isn't so nosy nor does he barge into my room during ungodly hours. He is playful but, generally, he's just there.
As I walked toward the kitchen I heard the girls talking so I stopped a distance away so I wouldn't be seen.
"But Outoou-san please talk with-"
"As I said before Yuzu that matter is closed." Karin looked like she was going to punch him.
"But you need to talk to him! It's getting worst!" Dad waved it off
"Don't worry about it Karin. It will take time." She grabbed her hair in frustration
"But Outo-san! You keep saying that." Dad turned to her
"Is our little Karin worried about her big brother... OH MASAKI OUR CHILDREN ARE SO WONDER-" Karin punched him and he ended up on the floor twitching
"Stupid old goat." Yuzu looked frantically between the two
"Karin-chan!" Karin rolled her eyes
"Whatever Yuzu, he had it coming." Yuzu huffed and went to check on dad. Suddenly he shot up and hugged Yuzu, well more like squeezed the life out of her, until Karin kicked him and he flew towards the wall. Karin was shouting at dad and Yuzu was trying to mediate between the two. I decided it was the best time to step in. As I walked in both my sisters stopped shouting and turned to me. I smiled slightly towards them. Karin and Yuzu looked towards each other apprehensively.
Seems like they couldn't forget last night
I went to put the food at the table as Yuzu and Karin followed in suite. Dad got up from the other side of room and walked silently to the table. Everyone was pretty quiet at breakfast. Yuzu and Karin exchanged looks constantly throughout the hour. Karin was sending glares towards dad and Yuzu looked uncomfortably between me and dad.
I sighed
"So how are your classes Ichigo?" Dad's voice cut through the silence. I turned to him surprised, but answered
"They're fine so far." He nodded. A minute or so passed before he added
"Well, you should take too long now. Hurry before your friends arrive." I nodded and got up putting my dished in the sink. Grabbing my bag I headed out the door. Not before noticing the disbelief in the face of Karin and deflated look of Yuzu.
Outside I was met with Ishida, Chad, Mizuro and Keigo.
"Hey guys." I greeted with a wave.
"Kurosaki"
"Hmn."
"Ichigo"
"Yo! Ichigo!" Keigo ran towards me trying to land a hit. I sidestepped as he fell to the ground. Everyone rolled their eyes. We started walking away and it took two whole minutes for us to realize that we left Keigo on the floor in front of my house. Stopping, I turned and yelled in his direction
"OI KEIGO! HURRY YOUR ASS UP BEFORE I BEAT IT!" Keigo, as always, was running full speed. Once he caught up with us he had this goofy grin on his face
"Hehehe, don't want to be late for the ladies right?!" I stopped. Mizuro, Ishida and Chad followed in turn. Keigo realizing his mistake came up to me hesitantly
"Ahh, Ichigo... I didn't mean ... sorry man." His hand landed on my shoulder and I turned to face him. His eyes widened.
"Ah, no worries Keigo. You're right, we don't want to be late. Let's get going." I said with a smile. I started to walk ahead of them. The grip on my bag was slightly tighter than before.
Keigo who hadn't moved from his spot turned towards Ishida, Chad and Mizuro.
Keigo and Mizuro exchanged worried looks while Chad stared down the road. Ishida pushed up his glasses, his eyes narrowed
How long will you suffer in silence Kurosaki?
The lecture hall was a rectangular room with the seats angling downwards to the main floor. At the end of the room behind the board there were three long thin rectangular windows that were spaced out. This allowed the student to gaze outside whilst they were in class. And as nice as the idea was it was mostly torture during spring and summer. Two more windows followed on the side walls.
The professor walked in and the room quieted down. The lecture was on Greek and Roman mythology, more specifically the Myths of Death that is seen in Greek myths and culture/history. From what I gathered, the Ancient Greeks had a pretty dismal view on death.
The class itself was very interesting but today, like most, I couldn't find myself paying attention. I get by just fine in my classes, however if I am honest with myself, I am not as motivated these days since high school. Nothing really planned for the future. Even before Ywach, I was nowhere. That much hasn't changed, I thought it did when I had gotten my shinigami powers back but after the war, I just didn't. No, that wasn't the word ...
I couldn't
I couldn't move from that moment. Not forward, not backward, I just stood there planted in one place. And with what happened to her ...
Resting my chin on my hand I stared outside the windows.
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by movement at the corner of my eye. Turning my attention to the front row, I frowned slightly as I tried to focus. It was a girl. She was small, petite even. As I looked closer I realized why she caught my attention.
Short, black, shoulder length hair and porcelain skin
My hand dropped from my chin and onto the desk. I found myself leaning towards that direction. Suddenly, a dark shadow blocked my view. A student had gotten up from his seat in front of me. Irritated I waited, and as soon as he moved I immediately searched for her down in the front row.
I blinked, looking left and right of the room.
She's ... gone?
I shook my head leaning back in my seat. Taking my pencil I started to write some notes.
Lack of sleep is catching up on me
Lunch rolled around soon enough for most of us. Chad, Ishida and Inoue whom we met up earlier had a break together. Tatsuki, Keigo and Mizuro had class. We decided to sit outside for lunch by the trees. Lately it had been beautiful. It was spring and everywhere was green with blue skies to complement it. A cool breeze would pass by every once and a while but the warmth remained nonetheless. I was leaning against the tree one leg propped up and the other stretched out drinking a juice box. Inoue, Chad and Ishida were seated on the ground eating. Inoue was animatedly explaining one of her bizarre dreams to a slightly uncomfortable/amused Chad and Ishida.
Since last time Inoue and I have been on better terms. We didn't really talk after that last encounter a year ago for a while. She seemed to understand and left me to my own devices. We just gradually came to a spot where we were once again comfortable with each other.
" And you should have seen the spaceship! And the dog headed aliens were talking to me! They were telling me the secret to the treasure map I found." Ishida and Chad sweat dropped. Even I felt my head swimming with all these ideas.
"Ishida-kun what do you dream about!?" Ishida looked surprised
"uh... Sowing?" Chad cracked a grin.
"Ohhh! I've had those dreams too! Though, mines usually end with a battle between the thread and needles." Ishida blinked and Chad let out a chuckle.
"So, Kurosaki-kun?" I turned my attention to her as I was drinking.
"Hm?"
"What do you dream about?" I felt myself freeze and ever so slowly lower the juice box. Ishida and Chad momentarily stopped eating before they resumed as if nothing was wrong. Inoue paused for a moment, her eyes widened slightly.
"Oh! Did I say dreams!?"
I dream about her
"I meant uhh ... well... um books!"
All the time
" Yes books where the main character has ... dreams." Her voice faded out by the end as she looked at me.
And it's painful
"Dreams?" I let myself laugh, it sounded hollow
"Nothing particularly. If anything," I paused as I saw something pass in my peripheral vision ...
Nothing.
" ...they aren't worth mentioning." I finished turning back to them. Inoue looked slightly startled when I finished. She momentarily shifted her eyes to the guys. Chad didn't look up. Only Ishida gave me a sideways glance. Inoue bit her lip and continued eating. They continued talking but at a much softer level. As they spoke I noticed that Inoue had a worried crease on her head despite her candid attitude. Ishida and Chad, who were generally more relaxed amongst the group, sat more stiffly. I ran my hand through my hair and sighed.
I should really tone it down a bit with them. At some point they will ask, then push and keep pushing for me to open up and move on. I know them, but if I'm honest with myself, I don't want to.
And that's not good.
I'll just keep trying to fake it for their sake, for my family's sake. Its better this way, I know it is.
"Sorry Inoue," Inoue looked up surprised, so did the guys. I continued with a small smile
"What other dreams do you have?" She looked eager to tell us. With a sudden rush of energy she leapt off into her whirlwind of wild dreams. The guys sweat dropped even more so as they listened. I turned and droned her out. This would keep them distracted for the rest of the lunch hour. My eyes followed the crowd of students as they made their way to class. Some in a hurry, and others, walking more leisurely.
The crowed was much larger this time of day so if you were looking for someone it would be hard. But for me, that isn't the case. The moment I stared straight ahead I saw a figure standing parallel to mine. She was much shorter than the rest of the students. But she stood tall, confident and so familiar. I frowned slightly to get a better view of her. Her image was being cut by the number of bodies passing between us. It took a split second when a window opened revealing her to me.
If I looked uninterested before I sure didn't feel that way now. My eyes widen as I took her all in, it was as if time slowed thus allowing me to confirm who stood before me. I blinked once and time sped up cutting her off from me. Immediately I rushed forward to the spot where she stood. My eyes still widen and my ears rung. I felt lightheaded
It can't be...
She can't be here
She's ...
Dead
I stood in the exact spot where she stood, people passing by giving me a strange look. I could care less. My heart was beating incredibly fast. My breathing laboured as if I had run for miles. She wasn't there but that didn't quell the strange feeling creeping inside of me
Hope
It raged as if it wanted to break my shell of a person.
"Kurosaki? You okay? You just got up and left?"
How was it possible?
"Hey! Kurosaki?!"
Suddenly I was pulled out of my stupor by a strong hand on my shoulder that spun me around. I was face to face with my friends. Ishida, who had turned me around wore a frown until he took one look at my face. His eyes widened
"Kurosaki... What happened?" I shook my head unable to process what I saw. Inoue spoke next
"Kurosaki-kun, you look pale...What's wrong?" Chad's eyes locked onto mine, his mirroring the same concern as everyone else. I shook my head once again. Ishida shook my shoulder slightly to get my attention
"Kurosaki, tell us what's got you so spooked. You look like you've seen a ghost." I turned around just to make sure then I turned back
"I saw her." Those three words and Ishida knew what I was talking about. Chad blinked once understanding, but said nothing. We stood staring at each other, no words were spoken. Inoue on the other hand looked confused.
"Saw 'her'?" She looked between all three of us. No one answered. Ishida took a minute before he addressed me
"Kurosaki, she is gone. Don't go chasing that thread; you'll only end up in a worse place than when you started." Inoue's eyes lit up with shock
"You mean...? She's alive?"
"No she isn't." I locked my glare onto Ishida
"Ishida, I get it, she's gone. I know I was there. I saw her fall, I saw her die." Inoue flinched at the rise in my voice. Ishida remained motionless.
"But don't think for one second, that I wouldn't recognize her." Ishida's gaze didn't waver
"What makes you think she's alive? Because you saw her?!" Ishida's voice rose as well. I felt my fist clench at my sides
"Yes! Exactly! I saw her right her-"
"So where is she!?" I stopped, my eyebrows shot up. My voice was slightly less strong as I spoke
"Well, she isn't here now ... But she was here! Right behind me I swear Ishida you-"
"What? What do I have to do? Watch you fall further down that hole?!"
"What 'hole'? What the hell are you talking about Ishida?!" Ishida's glare hardened
"If you paid attention to how you are acting-"
"What the hell is it to you Ishida! Just leave me the fu-"
"ENOUGH!"
My eyes widened
"Kurosaki this past year all I've done is watch you fall further and further into denial. And the more you fall the more you are losing yourself! Every day I want to say something! But I don't! And you know why?! Because you are my friend and I don't want to hurt you but THIS, if you follow this path you will hurt yourself!" I stood there surprised to find in the eyes of all my friends this sentiment echoed.
I felt deflated. My eyebrows lowered and my eyes looked downcast. A few minutes passed before I spoke
"... Fine..." Ishida sighed
"Kurosaki I didn't mean it like that." I shook my head
"No it's fine."
"Kurosaki..."
"I'll see you guys later." I pushed past Ishida and ran back to grab my bag and headed off to class.
Ishida stood staring at Ichigo's figure as he retreated to the building.
"Ishida-kun..." Ishida sighed
"I know Inoue-san. That was harsh. But I can't keep watching him like this. It has to stop." Inoue put a comforting hand on Ishida's shoulder. Ishida turned to look at her. She smiled slightly
"I thought I asked you call me Orihime." Ishida gave a weak smile
"Seems like I'm getting in trouble all around today huh?"
"My apologies... Orihime." Inoue smiled gently and looked back at the building where Ichigo ran to. She turned to Ishida
"He'll be fine. Someday, somehow he'll get through it all. We just need to support him. You never know Ishida, maybe he did see her." Ishida smiled and nodded
"But the chances of her being alive is another story." The friends all looked at each other with resignation and grabbed their own bags and headed to the building where Ichigo was.
After the confrontation with Ishida I didn't feel like staying any longer near them
Ishida, no matter how hard that was to hear, was right. I know what I've been doing. I know where I am falling. But no matter what I see, I can't seem to care of the outcome. I've tried, tried to move on without her. I tried to play the normal brother, son and friend. God knows I've tried.
But I can't.
It will haunt me, her death. You can't ask me to forget it. You shouldn't expect me to move on.
You won't.
If you were in my situation you would fall as I do.
I sighed and a weak smile graced my features,
I'm pitiful aren't I?
The silence seemed to agree with me. I turned my attention back onto the lecture. I had seen Ishida, Inoue and Chad show up to class earlier, all of them looking at me. I just kept to myself. My eyes moved lazily around the room until it landed on the door.
If only...
On the window of the door I saw a silhouette move across. I shook my head
Not again... Please... no more.
Looking back tentatively I was relieved ( somewhat) that whatever I saw was nothing significant. My attention moved back to the front of the lecture hall, I thought it was over. Then I heard the door open, I choose not to look until the shout of a student threw me out of my chair
"K-Kuchiki-san!?" Ishida, Inoue and Chad stood up from their seats, eyes wide and locked onto the figure at the door. I turned and it was as if time stopped. My eyes widened and I felt myself standing up. As I did the figure disappeared back to the corridors.
Impossible
I stood at the doorway, unmoving. I could hear my professor asking questions but I didn't seem to care.
Is this an illusion? Am I hallucinating?
I turned back to face Ishida who looked wide eyed towards me. Then it clicked
If this were a dream Ishida wouldn't look like he saw a ghost
I turned back so fast and pushed the door opened
She was real
And I bolted out the classroom not hearing the distant cries of my friends. I ran into the opened area looking left to right, a panicked look set in my face
Where did she go?!
I saw a flicker of grey at the corner of my eye and saw a small figure retreating outside.
I ran
Once outside I could see this person clearly. They bolted across the street. She was running fast, far away from me.
I sprinted in her direction. I felt every muscle in my body screamed as I pushed harder and faster towards her direction. But my mind and heart were working in sync, and they demanded that I keep going.
She started to come into view. She must have noticed I was catching up because she turned slightly to the left behind her and then sprinted off. Even from that distance I saw the color of her eyes, the beautiful blend of violet and blue.
She turned a sharp corner and continued on. I grabbed hold of the wall as support so I wouldn't go flying as I did the same. It took a bit of time but I began to recognize the area we were in. I turned back to her and then I realized where she was headed. So instead of running after her from behind, which was getting me nowhere, I'd catch her up front. Taking the next corner on my left I ran to the site where I was sure she would go. I moved through the trees not caring if the branches scratched me. Soon I was beginning to become short of breath, the feeling of sweat slowly was falling down my cheeks. The air whipped at my face as I pushed up the stairs. Using the armrests as support I pulled myself up to give more momentum. Once I reached the top I placed my hands on my knees as I heaved.
Let's hope I'm right
Whipping the sweat off my face I scanned the area for any signs of her. To my left I saw a mop of black hair run through the trees. I immediately sprinted in that direction. As I rushed through the bushes we came to a clearing on a cliff overlooking the city. She stopped right at the edge, staring out unto Karakura.
I slowed down until I stopped meters away from her. My body felt weak, scared, as if this was all in my head, but also the fact it may be real. I recalled all those nights I prayed she'd appear in my window or she was waiting outside my door. The nights I called out to her, begging her to return. If this was real, I don't know where to start, how to act. It could bring back to me joy I've long forgotten. But if this was a lie ...
I'd break
Taking a deep breath I walked slowly towards her. The sun was setting on the city and gave it a wonderful mix of yellow and orange glow which added warmth to the spring evening. I was careful; I didn't want to scare her off again. As I got closer, no more than two meters from her, I stopped.
I am afraid to face the cold hard truth... that this isn't her, not the person I once knew
We stood there, unmoving. I knew she knew that I stood behind her but made no indication to turn to face me. I eyed her form, her small but strong legs, her petite waist, her broad shoulders with slim but strong arms, and her beautiful black hair that lay just before her collar. I eyebrows moved closer as my face trembled.
It's exactly the same
It was a ghost image, so beautiful, but I couldn't find the warmth from this position. Inhaling through my nose I closed my eyes waiting until I pulled myself together. When my eyes opened I was met with her looking back at me. My mouth parted slightly as my eyes widened. She was standing sideways but her face was turned fully in my direction. I felt my breath leave me when she spoke
"... Ichigo..." My heart hammered in my chest. She sounded exactly the same. Her voice though softer held gentleness coupled with the firmness of a Kuchiki.
My breathing was slightly irregular as I spoke
"Rukia..." I saw her eyes soften at the sound of her name. Her lips, which were pressed tightly together prior, relaxed. My stomach twisted as I gathered up the courage to speak. Looking down for a minute I took a breath, my eyes walking up her form hesitantly as they locked with hers.
I felt my fists clench at my sides as my gaze cowardly fell to the floor, hidden beneath my bangs, all I could utter was "How?"
I waited, she didn't answer right away liked I hoped. I almost scoffed at my willingness to believe everything would be like a fairytale, which she'd wonderfully appear to me alive and well. And when I asked, she would instantly ease my worries.
Pathetic... and yet
I want it nonetheless
I felt her shift before she spoke
" I don't know." I bit my lip. I could feel my heart drop to my stomach. I reminded myself that she didn't outright say that she was ...dead. I slowly moved my gaze up to find her turned back facing the town. I need more information
"Rukia, what do you remember?" She paused for a moment her eyes looked down towards the right lower corner, her lips slightly parted. They glided back up to mine. Shaking her head she looked around aimlessly
"I don't know, I remember Ywach, I remember dying..." I flinched "Then there was this white light. It was cold. I saw a tall figure, a white being and then a voice. The voice called my name I turned back and the being was gone. All I had left was the voice, so I followed it. They called me endlessly."
I frowned ...Endlessly?
It couldn't be ...
"What did they say?" I asked. She looked back towards me
"My name, just my name..." I breathed deeply as my chest constricted slightly.
"Rukia" She looked surprised and frowned
"Yes, just like that." I nodded but didn't say anything... she had heard me. I could feel every fear melting away. If she heard me, surely she was truly there. I walked towards her slightly, she backed away
"Ichigo, don't. I don't know if I'm real, I don't know if I will stay here much longer." I stopped a few feet from her. The evening light glowed around her. I couldn't help but smile.
"You're afraid." She shook her head almost exasperated
"And you're not! Ichigo you don't know-" I cut her off
"I've been afraid for over a year." She stopped and listened, her eyes wide and her brows bent.
"And every time, all I wanted was some way for you to be in front of me. I was met with the silence and emptiness of loss. You're here now. I won't let that pass me if I have the chance." She shook her head her eyes falling to the ground and her mouth parted
"I'm not real." She whispered. I frowned. My hand reached and grasped hers gently
"I can touch your hand, can't I?" She didn't look up. I moved my hand up her arm
"And your arm?" Her mouth closed her eyes fixed on the left corner. I cocked my head to the slide and my eyes softened as my hand brushed her cheek. Her eyes finally looked up
"Your cheek..." I whispered as I slowly got closer to her. I bent down towards her
"You're real Rukia." I kissed her and wrapping my other arm around her waist bringing her closer to me.
She was so warm. Her lips trembled as I moved gently. I could feel her fears, but I had to convince her that it would be alright. My thumb caressed her cheek and she relaxed, every word I wanted to say was silently passed between us. Her hands climbed up my chest and wrapped around my neck
I grinned as I pulled away slightly and met her small smile
"Stubborn baka." My grin grew wider as I pulled her back in. My eyes could not hold back as my tears fell onto her face.
After so long, she was here
And finally ...Finally I could stop running.