Professor Tockman's Point of View
It was towards the end of the Summer of 2011, and I was watching a muggle TV show called FRIENDS on the Comedy Channel, this particular episode intrigued me, as O believe we can teach the students how to avoid that awkward situation. I created the lesson plans, all years will learn this, to avoid the humiliation.
I arrived at the Headmistress' office to go through the lesson plans. Headmistress McGonagall looked through the lesson plans, and when she came to my ingenious idea, she looked at me confusedly.
"Why does this say bubble baths?" she asked.
"Because I want to teach the students to defend themselves against the humiliation of being visited while in a bubble bath." He retorted, she didn't respond but suppressed a chuckle and sent me away.
The next day there was a staff meeting to discuss matters such as student safety, the welcoming feast and other important staff matters. I won't bore you to death with the whole meeting. The topic eventually rounded to our first lessons of the year.
"Longbottom, what will you be doing with the first-years?" asked Professor McGonagall
"I will be teaching them the basics of Herbology, what it is, why we do it, etc." he answered
"and you Tockman" asked McGonagall
"I plan on teaching all of my students about how to defend themselves from the embarrassment from being exposed in front of others in a bubble bath." I responded, McGonagall suppressed a laugh again.
"Are you serious?" asked Neville, in between laughing fits.
"Completely" I said.
It was Friday 2nd September, when I was first able to share my knowledge with my students. My first class for the year was the third years, I believe that it went swimmingly. I gave them the standard welcome back to another year at Hogwarts speech, and then we went straight into the lesson. I taught them about FRIENDS, why and how bubble baths can be dangerous, why and how toy boats can save you from maximum humiliation and so I think that it was a real success.
Teddy Lupin's Point of View- After the DABB lesson
I sat down next to Vic and said "Weirdest Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson ever!" she looks at me strangely and asks me
"Why?"
"Because he started to blab on about us defending ourselves from bubble baths, by using toy boats, and how dangerous bubble baths can really be." My brain was hurting from all the confusion
"Why are bubble baths dangerous?"
"Something about embarrassment, I don't know, he mentioned something about a muggle TV show called FRIENDS." At least that was what I thought he said
"Ask Uncle Harry or Aunt Hermione about it or anyone in our extended family, well maybe not Grandma or Grandpa." My best-est helpful and an eighth veela friend Victorie suggested.
"I would like to point out that you will have this lesson eventually, and you will come to me and we will crack up laughing." I stated.
Epilogue
In years to come many of the students would wonder why professor Tockman was sacked from the DADA position. Well it was because of the bubble baths.
Author's Note: Just a crackfic I thought of, I don't own FRIENDS or Harry Potter, I am just borrowing them for mine and other's enjoyment. Please Read and Review your thoughts.