A/N: Spoilers for "Don't Hate The Player," as I wrote this to be a missing scene before the WH13 gang goes back to Univille.
Well Played
Claudia ducked into the back room as Myka escorted Jerry, Hannah, and Gibson into the hallway while Pete neutralized Beatrix Potter's teapot and accompanying cups. She half smiled as Fargo looked up at the sound of the door clicking into its frame, then locked it behind her back.
Fargo awkwardly scratched his head. "Sorry, again," he sighed, rotating his eyes between the redhead and his shoes.
"Just another day when Warehouse Thirteen: Next Generation and the Head of Global Dynamics collide, huh?"
Fargo cracked a smile. "Yeah."
Claudia strode over to the bed and flopped down beside Fargo's luggage. She picked up one of the game headsets and admired it. "For what it's worth, it was pretty cool. Most of it, anyway." She narrowed her eyes. "Except for the freckles."
Fargo blanched. "I'm really sorry about that?" he replied, unsure if that was the apology Claudia was looking for. For added effect, he flashed his signature full teeth awkward grin, like the one he had given Myka over the game's version of Pete's Farnsworth.
Claudia tapped her right index finger along the earpiece of the equipment. "I can't believe you made me a ditz." Her tone was even, if not tainted with annoyance. "Seriously, Fargo. I thought you thought more of me than that."
"You just called me Fargo," he pointed out, completely ignoring everything else.
"Everyone calls you Fargo."
"Except you."
Claudia tossed the head piece onto the pillow and folded her arms across her relatively small chest. "Yeah, well, sometimes people surprise you."
Then, in a roundabout way, Fargo realized what she was trying to say. His shoulders slumped forward and he pushed his luggage and game equipment out of the way and sat down beside his, suddenly so much smaller than he had been before. "I'm really sorry," he said, this time sincerely. "It's alright if you don't believe me, but I am. I don't know what I was thinking when I programmed the Princess. It certainly wasn't You."
"Princess Peach has got more wit then Princess Me."
"I'm sorry," he repeated, beginning to sound like the programmed looped General Arthur. "I'm an idiot." He shook his head. "I guess I just…I don't know. I'm always getting myself into trouble and the last two times we've been together, it seems like you've always been the one to save my ass. Or at least be kind enough to make out with it before possible impending death, so…"
"You just wanted to save me for a change?"
"Yeah."
"Weeell," Claudia drawled, while nodding. "I guess that makes sense. But still. You didn't have to dumb me down to do that. You're a genius, Doug. I know you could've designed something pretty brilliant where all characters involved are brilliant. You don't have to resort to video game tropes." She slugged his arm. "C'mon! You work for the smartest town in the world! You should be thinking outside the X-Box." That earned her a hearty chuckle, so she added, "And by the way: call me crazy – actually, don't, the whole Mitchner thing was bad enough for one day – but shouldn't Eureka already have developed synthetic man-to-machine software that allows a brain to adapt to a world like the one in the game?"
Fargo shrugged. "You know I can't talk about Eureka inventions with anyone outside of GD," he frowned. "But even if we had," he continued, "it would be the property of the U.S. government whereas Fargames was my own entrepreneurial venture."
"With a whole bunch of international property."
Fargo shook his head. "What international property?" he smiled cheekily. "Warehouse Thirteen is nothing more than a conspiracy theory myth!" He winked. "And besides, except for the teapot, I didn't use anything from The Warehouse."
"Except mine, Artie's, and Leena's likenesses. And…basically the likeness of The Warehouse – excuse me, castle – and everything inside of it."
"Okay," he squeaked. "So maybe I would've owed you a few royalties if the prototype had actually taken off-"
"A few?" Claudia interrupted, raising her eyebrow as high as it would go.
"Okay," Fargo relented. "Just do me a favor and don't show Artie the virtual contents."
Claudia slapped him on the back. "Done!"
"Thanks."
Claudia nodded, just as a knock came from the door.
"Claud, you in there?" Pete's voice asked.
"Be out in a minute!"
"'Kay!"
Claudia listened as Pete's footsteps hulked away, then she stood up. "Well, I guess I better let you get back to your packing."
Fargo nodded. "I guess."
"It was good seeing you again," she smiled.
"Ditto."
Claudia tossed her arms around Fargo's neck and gave him a warm hug. "See ya 'round, then?"
"You bet!"
Claudia moved to the door and grabbed the handle. She unlocked the door and twisted the handle halfway before stopping to look back at Fargo, who was still goofily smiling at her and stopped as he noticed that her eyes were on him again. "One more thing," she said slowly. "In the game…Princess Me had a, well, a guitar."
Fargo nodded. "Yeah!"
"She said she was going to sing a song."
Fargo continued nodding. "Yeah, if the game had ended properly, she would have started performing which would have opened a portal that took the characters out of the game."
"Why did you give me a guitar?"
Fargo frowned and stated in the most obvious tone he could muster, "Because…you play the guitar."
"I've never played the guitar for you," she pointed out, with a raised finger.
"Yeah, well…" He shimmied under his clothes. "When I was staying at Leena's B&B for the upgrade, I heard you playing and I, erm, kinda snuck down to watch." His face turned the color of lava. "You were really good! And that's how I wanted Princess Claudia to be too."
Claudia felt herself blush and quickly turned her head away. "That's nice to know, Dougy."
"Any time." Fargo adjusted his glasses self consciously. "You know, if you ever wanted to play at Vincent's-"
Claudia winked. "Maybe I will." She gave him a wiggle of her fingers in goodbye and then slipped – or possibly skipped – out the door.
When the door shut again, Fargo dropped back onto the bed and stared at the indentation left where Claudia had been sitting. His hand absently swept over his belongings, before grabbing the headset Claudia had tossed onto the pillow. It had been the same one she'd been wearing and he'd chosen to take it back to Eureka as a keepsake. He hugged it to his chest. "Well played, Claudia. Well played."
