Killian stands at the helm of the Jolly Roger for hours and watches the sun rise over the water, wishing the darkness in his soul, in Emma's soul, was so easily dispersed.
"I'd have died to save you, Emma," he whispers aloud to the empty sky. "To save both of us. Why couldn't you let me?"
He looks down at the tattoo on his arm, a reminder of the first love he had lost to the Dark One. A reminder not to let the darkness win. And his eyes linger on the rings, a reminder of the darkness he had so long wallowed in.
"You know," a familiar hated voice says. He spins, seeing the Crocodile, scales and all, standing on the deck of his ship. "If you had succeeded in your vengeance, this would have happened anyway. It's not like she did anything you didn't spend three hundred years trying to do to yourself."
Killian laughs hollowly, a sound completely devoid of mirth. "The collected minds of all the Dark Ones ever, and they send you to tempt me? Three hundred years of hating you is the only strength I have right now so go away and bother someone else." Vindictively, he realized he means go bother Swan. This is her fault anyway.
"You could have saved her," the Crocodile says with a giggle.
"Who? I could have used your unholy magic to save Milah? Maybe if I was feeling particularly cruel I could have inflicted this same half-life on her. Or, if I had killed you like I meant to, if Emma hadn't been trying to save your worthless hide, she would never have become the Dark One and it would just be me? She would still be the Savior. Because if you're here to taunt me with what might have been, 'Dearie', I'm perfectly capable of that without your assistance."
"Are you coming home?" She appears on the deck of the ship with ease, snapping his attention away from the Crocodile, reveling in her powers. His powers too. The thought nags at the back of his mind. He had never had magic of his own before but he can feel the power humming through him, begging to be used.
"That house," he says, keeping his voice even, "is not my home. It's not your home either. It was supposed to be, but it's not."
"I know you're upset…" she starts.
"Upset? Why ever would I be upset? I tried so hard to help you. And this… this is how you thank me? By infecting me with the darkness I tried so hard to destroy. By making me the very thing I have hated my whole life."
"You tried so hard to help me. I couldn't let you die."
"You should have!" he shouts. "And I hope it was you, Dark One, and not Emma who made that call because she knew how hard I had fought against the darkness. How hard I fought against you."
"So now you are back to not accepting me?" she asks. "To not loving me? You are just like me."
"You obviously don't love me. This darkness is not something you inflict on someone you love. And no. I am not like you. I haven't embraced it."
"Don't you see? I was trying to save you."
"With cold blooded murder? Can't you see how much the darkness has twisted everything that Emma was?"
"I was trying to protect you. But now that you know the truth we can fight it together." She smiles, the expression twisted and cold on the Dark Swan's face.
"You don't want to fight it. I spent long enough wallowing in the darkness to recognize someone else in that position. But what I said in the house the first time still stands. This isn't me. Maybe it will be someday. Maybe I was right and I won't have the strength to fight back against the darkness a second time. But that doesn't mean I won't fight it with everything I have." He turns his back on her, walking toward the gangplank, leaving her behind.
He steps on to the docks and she appears in front of him in another swirl of smoke. "Stay away from me!" he snaps. A wave of magic knocks her aside. "No!" he says, staring down at his hand in horror.
"Well done, Dearie," the Crocodile says, clapping. "Looks like you're a natural."
"I'm not you," he snarls, then turns and runs.
"Planning on outrunning me, Dearie?" the Crocodile asks, jogging alongside him.
"If you're going to look like him, at least have the limp so I can outrun you."
"But he didn't, not as the Dark One. I… well, he used his magic, your magic, to heal himself, to be whole. You could do the same."
"I paid a steep price to be rid of that accursed hand and the darkness it brought with it. I'm certainly not going to surrender to the darkness to get it back."
He considers not telling anyone. He can figure this out on his own, not burden anyone else with what Emma has done. But he knows that he needs to warn them so they know better than to trust him. And it isn't just about them either. He needs someone to know because he needs people watching him, he needs someone to notice if he starts to slip further back into the darkness.
"I know what she did in Camelot," he says without preamble as he steps into the sheriff's station. He lays out the whole tale without embellishments, without attempt to shield either Emma or himself from their disapproval.
"What was she thinking?" Snow demands.
"I don't know. She should have let me go, not turned me into this."
"She was thinking basically what everybody else here has at some point," Henry points out. "That love is worth fighting for." He hugs Killian. "I'm glad you're not dead."
"I'm not," he admits, his voice near breaking. "Because I would rather die than go back to being a villain."
"Don't say things like that," Snow says.
"You've been a villain before," Henry points out, as though it really is not a big deal.
"Aye. And you have no idea what I was like during that time, and I pray you never find out. Villain isn't just a title, Lad."
Henry nods, frowning. "But the fact that you feel that way just proves you aren't one anymore."
"Perhaps not now, but it only took three weeks for Emma, for the Savior, to become the Dark One. How long do you think it will take me?"
"You could protect them from her," the voice in his head says. "You have the same magic that she does now."
"But who protects them from me," he snarls, before remembering that the others can't hear the voice.
"Mom's voice?" Henry asks. "I mean, you said she was…" he frowns "presumably still is I guess, hearing the voice of the previous Dark One."
"Actually Rumplestiltskin," Killian says.
"Really?" David asks. "Not who I would send to talk you into something."
"But exactly who to send to bring out the worst in me," he mutters darkly.
There is a long silence as everyone processes the realization.
"Is Mom a villain?" Henry asks very quietly, but it breaks the heavy silence hanging around the room as thoroughly as if he had shouted. "Like, really a villain, not just the title?"
He thinks about saying of course. A hero wouldn't have done this to me. A hero doesn't drag someone into the darkness against their will. But he doesn't want to hurt Henry for the sins of his mother.
"Of course you do, Dearie. You're the Dark One now. You want to hurt them all. You can't hurt Emma, you can't hurt me, so of course you want to lash out at them."
Killian clenches his jaw. "I don't know, Lad. Maybe. She's… lost in the dark." He runs his thumb over the cold metal of his rings, trying to remind himself that all sins can be forgiven, even Emma's. "And even if she is, just remember so was Regina not so very long ago. And so was your other grandfather. Emma can still come back, if she decides to."
"Sounds like you could use with the same reminder yourself, Killian," David says, clapping him on the back. He freezes. The prince has never called him by his given name before. But now, teetering on the edge of darkness, is when he chooses to do so. One more thing to fight for.
"Aye. Perhaps," he admits with a tight smile.
"What did you say we called the operation in Camelot?" Henry asks.
"Operation Light Swan."
Henry wrinkles his nose in thought for a moment. "It needs a name change because it isn't just about Mom. It's about both of you. You don't happen to have any animal connections by any chance? A piratical pet? A family crest?"
"No family crest, Lad, and the monkey sounded like a good idea but it took to attacking the crew."
"Okay. Well then, I guess Operation Light Captain Swan is a go."
"Do we actually have a plan?" Snow asks.
"I've been working on it for thirty seconds," Henry says reasonably. "Give me a little time to think of something."
And maybe it won't be enough, but damned if Killian isn't going to fight his absolute hardest to make sure it works. For Henry's sake, if nothing else. It's been a long time since he had people willing to fight for him.
"Damned regardless, Dearie," the voice in his head whispers. "Thanks to Emma Swan."
He swings his hook toward the form of Rumplestiltskin without thinking. He realizes his terrible mistake almost instantly as the hook swings point first toward Henry. He raises his other hand and knocks the lad aside with a burst of magic, the first time he has willingly used it, protecting the boy from himself. It feels terrifyingly good, using the power her now wields. He suddenly understands why so many who wield magic become mad with power. If it always feels that amazing, of course they do. He wonders how Emma ever wanted to get rid of hers.
Then what he has done, and what he almost did, catch up to him.
"Henry, I'm… I'm sorry, Lad. I didn't mean…" He turns and runs, out of the sheriff's station, away from everyone he might hurt with his magic.
"Killian, wait!" Henry calls after him.
He doesn't stop running until he reaches the docks. He can hardly breathe, panic welling up in him for what he almost did to Henry. Furious with Emma, and more so with himself, he wrenches off the hook and heaves it as far as he can out into the waves. Perhaps a little magic makes it fly a little further, but he tries to tell himself that was a onetime thing. He drops to his knees, trying to catch his breath, his labored breathing breaking finally into sobs.
"What did you do to me, Swan?" he asks aloud. "I almost hurt Henry. I couldn't have lived with that. Neither could you. But you had to go and make sure I was immortal, so I'd have had to. Forever."
He waits for the ocean to calm him for a long time before realizing that the darkness staining his soul is, for the first time in his life, beyond the soothing reach of the ocean waves.
That afternoon, after word has a chance to spread a bit, he goes to Gold's Pawn Shop to speak to the town's expert on the Dark One.
"It doesn't hurt that you wouldn't mind him ending up dead," the Crocodile giggled in his ear. He tries to ignore the voice.
The Croc… no, the man before him is definitely Rumplestiltskin, moves to slip out the back.
"Uh, uh, uh," Killian admonishes him. "You aren't going anywhere." His hand is half raised to use magic to cut off his possible escape. His eyes land on Belle and for one brief, horrible moment he considers using his new magic on her, plunging his hand into her chest, crushing her heart while the man who loves her is forced to watch. He forces his hand to his side, his fist clenched so tightly that his nails dig into his palm. "Belle, you should go," he says, his voice strained.
"I'm not going anywhere. If you're here to hurt Rumple…"
"If I was here to hurt him, I would kill you," he says, with desperate honesty. "You've been far kinder to me than I deserve and I can't risk hurting you again to get to him. Please, just go."
"Belle, please, he's right. You have to get out of here."
"Rumple, I can't just abandon you to him. And as for you," she says, turning on Killian, "We're friends. You aren't going to hurt me."
"Do you still have a scar?" Killian asks, his voice strained. "From where I shot you? Do you have a scar?"
"A little," Belle says evenly. "Most of it faded when Rumple healed me."
"With magic he no longer possess. I told you what happened to Milah. You don't have to worry about me killing Rumplestiltskin. As long as you are safe from me, so is he."
Belle considers for a moment, then nods. "You promise?"
"Are you sure 'I'll kill you before I kill your husband who I've hated for centuries' is really a promise you want me to make, Lass?"
"Yes, it is. Because you and I are friends. I don't think you're going to hurt me. Not now."
"Not this instant. But it might not always be enough."
"I believe it will be. So promise me."
"I can't do that, Belle. I don't want to hurt you."
"Belle, please," Rumplestiltskin says.
"What you mean is you do want to hurt Rumple," she says, ignoring Rumple's plea. She stalks toward Killian angrily and he steps back, not trusting himself around her. She doen't give him that option and kept stalking forward until he is backed against the counter and she is standing well inside arm's length. "What you mean is that you want an out, where it's okay for you to embrace the darkness because the people you pick and choose to care about get to stay safe. It doesn't work like that. You're a hero now and I refuse to accept you giving that up for a chance at revenge. The darkness hurts everyone, even the people, maybe even especially the people closest to you. Take it from someone who knows. Or are you under the illusion that your friendship is more powerful somehow than Rumple's love for me? Promise me, and don't give yourself permission to give in to the darkness."
"I promise," he says.
"Thank you. I'll let you two talk." She rests a hand on her husband's shoulder as she walks passed him. "I know you don't like Killian, but do try to remember that our lives may depend on you helping him." With that, she heads out of the shop, leaving the two old enemies alone together.
"I need your help, Crocodile."
"Crocodile?" Rumplestiltskin asks. "Careful, you're much more at risk of being the Crocodile now than I am, Pirate."
"Now is not a good time to test me, Rumplestiltskin," Killian nearly snarls. "And you really don't want me to be the pirate right now, Mate."
"True," Rumplestiltskin admits. "You came to me for a reason, and I assume it wasn't to trade barbs."
"You know more about the Dark One than anyone alive. I was hoping you might know some way to… stop being the Dark One, or at least to resist the darkness better."
"I'm hardly an expert on resisting the darkness, Dearie," Rumplestiltskin points out. "And I've never heard of someone just stopping being the Dark One. True Love's Kiss would do it, but the afflicted would have to believe it was a curse, and you can't both be under it."
"I know all that already!" Killian snapped.
"I know, but we need to go over every possibility." Rumplestiltskin's tone is calm and reasonable, almost painfully so, exactly the way it might be when attempting to calm a wounded animal.
"Aye," Killian says, forcing himself to calm down.
"You could always use magic to get your hook back, and plunge it in his neck," the Crocodile says. "It would be easy now, and I know you wanted in for a long time. Of course I do. I'm you."
"That's not why I'm here!" he snaps to the voice over his shoulder.
"That would be Zoso," Rumplestiltskin says in the same calm tone, though Killian can see the fear in his eyes even so.
"Actually, it's you. Which is terrible planning if you ask me."
"Strangely enough, Dark Ones are often inducted by the people they have stabbed."
"Don't give me ideas," Killian snarls, advancing on Rumplestiltskin.
The chime on the door rings.
"I thought I turned that to 'Closed'," Killian comments, turning to face the intruder.
"Ah yes, Storybrooke's inability to read that sign. A plague on all Dark Ones I fear," Rumplestiltskin says mildly, emboldened by witnesses.
David, Snow, and Regina are standing in the doorway.
"You never went to see Emma now that she's the Dark One," Killian says. "I feel special."
"Let go of Gold," Regina says.
He looks down and realizes he has his one hand around Rumplestiltskin's throat. He steps back, forcing his hand to his side.
"Belle said you were here," David says, in the same tone for speaking to wounded animals and Killian is suddenly reminded that he used to work in an animal shelter because he is much better at it, or possibly more annoying at it, than Rumplestiltskin.
"Aye. That doesn't explain what you are doing here. I thought you were ignoring the Dark One altogether," Killian snaps.
"Emma didn't want to see us," Snow argues.
"You think I do?"
"You came to see us this morning," David points out, moving to stand beside Killian, a little bit between him and Rumplestiltskin.
"Do you have a solution now? Because I haven't seen any solutions from you thus far. I haven't even seen much work on it. I was just warning you about me." He knows they are trying to helps, but he also suspects it won't be enough.
"What do you have so far?" Regina asks. She waves a hand, casting a protection spell to defend against prying ears. Emma could always tear through it, but not without being noticed.
"I don't know. I know the darkness can be transferred. Hence Swan's attempt to put all the darkness into Zelena and kill her."
"Which you stopped her from doing," Snow says, not sounding certain that he should have done so.
"Would you still stop her, knowing what you do now?" Rumplestiltskin asks.
"Aye. You can't get rid of darkness by murdering people. I tried that method," he says, glowering at Rumplestiltskin. "And Zelena wouldn't be my first choice."
"We could steal the sword," Regina suggests. "And if we stole the fire I could use my magic to reforge the dagger. We could take all the darkness and put it in someone we can control."
"The solution is not to create a slave to the darkness!" Killian snaps, wheeling on her.
"Easy, Hook, we're just brainstorming," David says in his placating tone. "Even if you think it's a bad idea, it could still prompt other ideas."
Rumplestiltskin clears random items off a large round table in the back sales room and gets assorted chairs for it and they sit down to brainstorm more.
"There's only one way to get rid of the darkness for good," Killian says finally. "I think we all know it. It has to go into one person."
"You aren't going back to killing Zelena?" Regina asks. She sounds like she is torn between defending her family and volunteering to do the honors herself.
"No. I just need to convince Emma I am doing that so she will give up the darkness willingly."
"We could take the sword and skip that step," Snow suggests.
"No. You took the darkness from her once before against her will and we all know how wonderfully that worked out." Snow flinches as though he struck her but he presses on, not exactly in a sympathetic mood. "If you simply remove the Dark One and put it in someone else without her giving it up, she stays in the dark, just not as the Dark One."
"She took away your choice," Rumplestiltskin says. "Why are you fighting so hard for hers?"
"Because I am not the Dark One."
"So you trick her, but it has to be her choice?" David asks.
"Aye. She just needs to willingly give up the darkness. What I do with it after that… well, that part is my choice. And I need help kidnapping your sister without using the Dark One's magic."
He knocks on the door of her house. Their house, he supposes. It was supposed to be home for both of them. That future looks painfully hollow now.
"You're back," she says.
"Aye. It took me some time to appreciate what you did for me, Love," he says. He forces a smile, ignoring the anger at her that still roils inside of him. The Crocodile's voice starts suggesting increasingly dark ways to punish her for it.
"But you do now?"
"Aye. And if we get rid of the Darkness, it's like none of it ever happened." He dragged his unwilling assistant Zelena with him into the house. He didn't tell her the plan, so her fear is genuine. "Just one request, Swan. Allow me to do the honors. I've been waiting three hundred years for a chance to kill the Dark One." It makes him ill how appealing that plan is to the darker side of him. And worse, he doesn't think he can blame all of that on the Dark One.
"It's only fair," she agrees with a smile, although, like everything in this house, the smile feels hollow somehow. She hands him Excalibur, careful not to cut him with it.
"You're sure you want to do this?" he asks her again. "Be rid of the darkness?"
"Yes. I want both of us to be free."
He holds the sword high, drawing the darkness out of her. He can see in her eyes the moment she is free, the way her eyes widen with horror and she stumbles back from him a step.
"What have I done?" she whispers.
"It's over, Emma," he says gently.
She looks between him and Zelena, trying to decide whether to talk him out of killing her. "I was wrong," she says softly.
"No she wasn't. Kill her," the Crocodile urges. "You could always kill them both."
"I know, Love. That was never the plan." He cuts Zelena free with Excalibur. "Go," he tells her. "Before I change my mind." She waves a hand and vanishes in a swirl of green.
"Then what is the plan? You just took all the darkness. Killian, you just became the only Dark One."
"It won't work," the Crocodile sneers. "You're still angry with her over the whole 'didn't let you die' thing and she didn't love you enough to let you go."
Killian ignores the voice. Of course he is still angry at her. But he loves her too, enough to push aside the hurt and go ahead with the plan.
"Aye. This is the plan," he says, closing the distance between them, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her into a kiss. He can feel Emma's light pushing back the Darkness. He feels as it fades away, the curse broken by the power of True Love. He could swear that some of his own darkness vanished with it.
For the briefest moment he thinks it worked. That somehow, they have escaped the price of magic, that everything is going to be okay. "We're free, Emma," he murmurs, relief flooding him.
Then he feels the warm blood and a flash of pain on his neck and realizes this is still the price. He knew it would be when he began, but for a moment had dared to hope. He stumbles, falling against Emma.
"No!" she says, catching him in her arms and sinking to the ground beneath him. "We're free. Everything's supposed to be okay."
"Aye, my Love," he says. "We're free. It's done." He hisses in pain, reaching out for her hand to hold. "That doesn't mean there isn't a price."
"You're not the one who should be paying the price. I was the Dark One, not you. I even tried to make you one too, and it didn't take." She takes a sobbing breath. "It's supposed to be True Love's Kiss then Happily Ever After. That's how it goes. This isn't how it's supposed to be."
"That's where you're wrong, Love. This is how it's supposed to be. This is how it was always supposed to be." He grimaces for a moment, then relaxes against her. It would have been enough for him then, and it's enough for him now, knowing that she will be free, will be safe from the Darkness, knowing that Henry has his mother back, knowing that they both have a future now, even though he doesn't get to be part of it.
She whisks them away with her magic, away from the cold house that was meant to be their future, to the Jolly Roger. She knows how much the sea calms him. He wonders distantly if perhaps it calms her too. He hopes so. The swirl of magic is pure white like it is supposed to be.
"I'm so sorry, Killian," she say.
"I forgive you, Emma. All sins can be forgiven when you're loved. Remember that."
She tries to pull away, to go get the first aid kit, to find some way to help him, although they both know it won't work.
"Don't," he gasps. "I don't have much time." The pain from the deceptively small wound is nearly blinding but her hand clutching his helps. "Stay with me. Please. I want your face to be the last thing I see."
She nods and reaches up with one hand to release her hair from the bun she had worn as the Dark Swan. Her other hand remains clasped tightly with his.
"You were wrong," she says. "You said you were too weak to fight off the darkness again. You're strong. Stronger than me."
"I have the easier task." His breath catches sharply. "It's okay, Emma."
"You defeated the darkness, in you, in me. You succeeded." She tries to smile through her tears, trying to be strong for him this time, like he was for her, like she hadn't been before. "You defeated the Dark One and there is never going to be another, all because of you."
The ferryman's boat appears on the horizon, pulling steadily closer to the Jolly Roger.
"Let me go, Love," he whispers in her ear. "I love you, Emma." He gasps in pain again, his hand tighten briefly on hers before falling limp.
"Killian? Killian! Please, no. Come back to me." She leans over him, kissing him desperately, trying to wake him up. "
Silently and implacably, the ferryman takes him away. She almost fights the ferryman, makes him leave Killian with her, but he asked her to let him go, and she ignored his wishes once before. She knows she can't do it again.
Then he is gone and Emma is left alone, sobbing on the deck of the Jolly Roger.