Final Fantasy's Final Fantasies Presents:

Final Fantasy IV: The Tale of Kain - In 5 Acts

ACT I:

Cecil was thinking of Rosa. She was so fair, and wonderful. But he worried about her, because he did not want anything bad to happen to her. He fought a lot, and travelled the world, and it was very dangerous.

"Cecil! Oh, Cecil," Rosa said as she walked up to the parapet Cecil was leaning on. "Is something wrong, Cecil?"

Cecil shook his head. "I am worried about Kain."

"Kain..."

"I will get him back. He will be on our side again. I must go after Golbez."

"Golbez..."

Cecil nodded and turned to Rosa, holding her in his arms. "I must defeat Golbez. Then I will bring Kain back."

Rosa sighed and rested her head on Cecil's chest. "Kain..."

"No, Rosa. You must not. You must stay here."

"But Cecil..."

"Stay here, it is just too dangerous!"

"Oh...Cecil!"

"Oh, Rosa..."

Makeout scene

ACT II:

Edge was sharpening his shurikens when Rydia walked in, so he put them down and stood up in a flash. "Hello, pretty girl."

"Do you think that's cute?" Rydia sniffed and walked past him.

Edge followed her to the other side of the room, where she was placing her GP down on a table to count it. "What say you and me take a stroll around the garden?"

"Will you go away? I'm trying to count this. And Kain needs our help!"

"Kain, Shmain!" Edge laughed.

Rydia stood up, making fists. "Kain is Cecil's best friend! And he is helping Golbez get all the crystals! If he does that, everyone will be under Golbez's control, and we'll all die!"

Edge swooned. "You and I wouldn't. I would save us and take an airship, and we could fly away."

"The airship is Cid's, not yours."

"So? Anyway, I'll just find another airship! I'll find one that is temporarily unmanned."

"You can't do that!"

Edge snickered. "Why not?"

"Because it's stealing!"

Edge turned away and folded his arms. "Maybe it wants to be stolen! Oh, never mind. I'll just take Rosa, instead."

"Ohh, just go ahead, then!"

Rydia stalks off; Edge is left pacing and fuming

ACT III:

Kain walked up to his Master, Golbez, when he was summoned. Then he bowed. "Yes, Master Golbez?"

Golbez looked about him imperiously. "You have served me well, Kain. But your little friends are tougher than I thought! I want you to dispose of them."

Kain bowed. "Yes, Master. I will kill Cecil and his friends!"

Golbez laughed. "I know I can count on you. But do not leave them alive this time."

"I will crush them, Master Golbez. I will crush them all!"

Kain and Golbez laugh evil laughs

ACT IV:

Cecil, Rosa, Edge, Rydia, and Kain meet up. (The other FFIV characters are indisposed at this time)

"Kain!" Cecil cried out when Kain appeared.

"Cecil, we meet again."

Rosa rushed up to Cecil's side. "Kain! Please, stop this!"

Kain looked at Rosa, feeling the love he once felt for her rise again. "Rosa..."

Cecil stood up tall. "Kain, you must stop doing this. You have to fight it!"

"I obey only Master Golbez."

Edge walked up to Kain. "So, you're this Kain guy, huh? If you had any guts, or if you were handsome, like me, you wouldn't be trapped like this!"

Kain looked at Edge. "You are the prince of Eblan. You are-"

"Haha! Don't even think about saying it!"

"Edge, I know your real name."

Edge fell to his knees. "Wait, please, no! Please don't say it! I beg you!"

Rydia snorted. "Oh, Edge, stop it!"

Edge looked up with pain in his eyes. "No, no...I mean it this time...just...too cruel..."

"Edge!" Cecil cried out.

"No, Edge! You must fight it!" Rosa shook her head many times, still clinging to Cecil.

Kain laughed. "You will not make it this time!" Kain began fighting them all, though Edge was still having issues about almost having his given name revealed. After a minute or two, Rydia summoned Bahamut and beat Kain's ass halfway through the planet and back.

Kain coughed. "Cecil...forgive me, I..."

"Kain! Don't say anything. I understand."

"But Cecil..."

"Oh, Kain," Rosa said sadly, still clinging to Cecil.

"Rosa...forgive me..."

"Kain, no!" Rydia cried, going to his side. "You can do it. You've got to be strong!"

Kain shook his head weakly, and then pulled out a small package from his pocket and handed it towards Cecil. "I am sorry. Forgive me. Here. Cecil, take this package. Take this package to the King. Give the King this package, Cecil, for me."

Cecil bowed his head and took the package. "Kain..."

Tears are shed, Kain disappears, and then everyone disperses

ACT V:

The King stood up as Cecil and his companions entered his throne room. "Ah, Cecil! We've been so worried! What happened?"

Cecil kept his head bowed. "Kain was overtaken by Golbez again, and we had to fight him..."

"Kain...," Rosa said sadly.

The King bowed his head, as well. "I am sorry. But, look! You are a paladin now! You have the strength of the Light! All you have to do is get the crystals back from Golbez, and stop this madness!"

"I will do my best, sir." (Aka "What do you think I've been trying to do this whole game?")

"Go, Cecil. Will you go? Will you go to save the kingdom, to save us all?"

"I will go, your majesty!"

"We will do whatever we can, your majesty," Rosa chimed in.

Then Cecil remembered the package Kain had given to him. "Your Majesty, Kain gave this to me to give to you. Please, take it."

The King stood up. "What is it?"

"I don't know, your majesty. Here, take it."

The King took the package, and when he finished untying it, it exploded, and he perished. Fortunately, Cecil and his friends were long gone by that point. After awhile, they ran into Golbez again, and this time they really whooped his ass, and in doing so they saved the entire world. Then, within the next year, Cecil and Rosa were married, and everyone lived Happily Ever After.

THE END