Royal Colors and Muted Backgrounds
Chapter One - Mistake
It's not my fault.
At least, that was what Murasakibara wanted to say, to shout from the top of his lungs. Yet he couldn't bring himself to, not knowing what he had done. He was a sinner, he had done wrong by the man that cared most for him.
It hurt to look at him, it hurt to see them..
Those eyes..!
They mocked him, mocked his singular mistake. He wanted a way to fix it, a way to go back, any way to change the way he said what he had. He hadn't meant to call him weak and he hadn't wanted this. If anything, he had wanted something just opposite of this..
This version of the smaller man, hardened and harsh. Not just his commander, but his ruler, absolute.
Now.. There's no going back..
He made clumsy and stupid promises of obedience, loyalty. He pleaded, even begged, for a piece of the man that he'd so unwittingly erased. He did everything commanded to him, not a complaint to be heard, always taking it a step or two further.
It was futile, as was disobeying the emperor, but he tried. Painstakingly and uselessly, for the first time in his life. Murasakibara tried and tried for something uncertain..
I'll wait..
He had lost, not the battle, but the entire war. This was unknown to all but him, and the man some would call his master, as it had been a silent one. He could not even bring himself to call or to text the man. He had no right, no grounds, he simply obeyed his final orders and waited.
A name always on his lips, a burden always on his board shoulders, he waited. Yet, he knew, it was futile.
I lost.. Our last connection.. I lost it..
He cried, possibly for the first time in close to a year, and cried harshly.
Himuro could not understand why his sobs sounded so heartbroken, wretched. It was great difficultly that the team tried to fix it. They tried, yes, but to no avail. It was the first time they'd seen such a pure emotion from their childish center, and it hurt more than it astounded them.
How could others mend a heart that one had broken with their own two hands, no, lips..?
Mido-chin.. I'm sorry, so sorry.. This is my fault as well..
He felt, rather than saw, a pair of familiar mismatched eyes sweep over him as the body they were attached to turned. The gaze seemed even colder than during Teiko, and Murasakibara found the bag of chips he'd been holding had suddenly turned to sand. He could almost hear him commenting on the fact that he was a useless and disregarded pawn now. He knew he was no longer Atsushi to his Aka-chin, and the thought almost killed him..
It was worse than the first time, honestly, as Murasakibara seemed to have lost the will to eat and there was no one to command he do so..
I wish.. I don't know what to wish exactly.. Just, give him back..
He clutched at the railing as the game progressed, swallowing thickly as he finally watched his former captain play. He hated the other center, he wanted to crush him, but he couldn't understand exactly why. Was it the fact that it should have been him out there, or was the fact that he was making it difficult for Kuroko to win..?
Perhaps it was a combination of the two, as Murasakibara soon found himself being pulled forcibly away by a worried Himuro. Akashi had scored and the railing had become bent, suspiciously, around the same time.