Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill

Let Me Love You

1 NUMB

Brooke wasn't sure how she got on her couch. She wasn't even sure when she had arrived at her place. All she could remember was how just after she got the phone call telling her Angie was fine there was a police man knocking at her house to tell her how there was a car accident just an hour ago.

She remember herself nodding as if she understood what he was saying, as if it was just something so ordinary that there wasn't a doubt in their minds that she would get through this. That in a few days she would be planning the funeral and go on with her life. Peyton's funeral. Her Peyton.

She guessed that after the police man left with a concerned glance, she called Haley. She wasn't sure about that, nor was she sure how the rest of the night went. At some point she remembered Lucas putting her on her bed before leaving to the living room where he could whisper in hushed voices with Nathan and Haley. But she didn't sleep. All she could think was: what kind of freaking joke was that? Because surely Peyton wasn't dead, there wasn't a way in hell that that could be true. No. She was sure of it.

When she just couldn't wait for Peyton to arrive, she decided to call her and tell her about this insanity. But Peyton didn't answer her phone, so she just left a message at the answer machine, all the while laughing because she was certain that Peyton would call her an idiot for believing that she'd actually leave Brooke alone. She was still laughing when Lucas got in her bedroom and took the phone away from her. She didn't stop laughing when he hugged her and told her they would get through this together, that he wasn't going to leave her side.

After he put her on her bed was when she realised that she wasn't laughing. She was actually crying, but not just some quiet weeping, she was verily sobbing. So hard her whole body was shaking. So hard she got exhausted and ended up asleep in Lucas arms.

Brooke didn't help organise the funeral. In reality, she didn't do anything. Not that anyone asked her to, in fact, much on the contrary. Haley and Nathan were the ones that did mostly of it. Some others helped too; someone got hold of Peyton's father as well. Lucas helped a bit but he was most responsible for making sure she ate and showered and slept. Not that she contributed with him. It wasn't like she was doing it on purpose, she just couldn't find in herself to actually do this kind of things alone. Besides, she was sure that Peyton would come back.

There were a lot of people for Peyton's funeral; even Jake and little Jenny were there. Brooke supposed she and Jake talked for a bit, but she couldn't remember what though. Almost everyone hugged her, that she was sure, but she didn't hug anyone back. Her eyes were fixed on the ground where her best friend in the world was being buried. Jamie didn't hug her, he just held her hand in silence and she loved him a bit more for it. Lucas didn't as well, but his arms never left her shoulders. At some point when the coffin was going down, her knees buckled and Lucas held her more firmly against him. She wanted to thank him but all she could manage was some weak sound that sounded more like a sob than a real word. She cried, she knew because her cheeks were wet and Nathan dried a few tears that would fall sometimes, but most of all she felt numb.

The next thing she knew, she was on her couch with Haley doing some hot beverage on her kitchen, Skills and Mouth were on the corner of her living room talking quietly, and Millie was by her side holding her hand, having given up trying to make her speak. Nathan was holding a sleeping Jamie in his lap, and Lucas was, of course, holding her. However, she still felt numb.

A few days went by and a new routine was placed on her life. She would wake up, Lucas would be there to make sure she ate, he would talk, and she would pretend she was listening, he would go work and Millie would come to keep her company. Haley would come make lunch and then, she and Nathan would trade places until Lucas arrived, when he would get them dinner. He would make sure she showered and put her in bed, holding her while she cried herself to sleep.

The first night, Lucas slept on the couch, but Brooke had a nightmare and woke up screaming her lungs out. When that happened again the night after, he decided to just stay there with her, keeping the monsters away. She was glad for that.

Sometimes she would talk. Silly things she remembered from her childhood. Things Peyton and she did when they still believed the world was a magical place and nothing could keep them apart. Things before Lucas or dead mothers. Sometimes she would talk about their plans, how they would get married or how many children they would have. How they would take holidays together with their families. Those nights, Lucas just listened, glad for the break of her silence. He knew it was going to be a hard journey for her to recover, but Brooke was so strong that he was sure she'd get better. At least, that was what he hoped.

This is my first OTH story. I had the idea a few days ago when I read some fiction about Peyton's death.

Please note that English is not my mother tongue, so there will be some mistakes. I tried my best to make sure there isn't any, but if you find some, please tell me so I can correct it.

I write mostly for myself but this time I decided to publish this story, so reviews would be mostly appreciated for I will not continue posting if there isn't any. I don't see a point in doing it if no one will give me their opinion.

Thank you, I hope you'll enjoy it!

Lily.