I do not own DBZ, DC Comics, or any other trademark characters that may or may not appear in this fiction
Goku Vs. Superman - The True Story
In this universe, and most others, there are some things that are eternal. Children will always hate organizational learning facilities, boobs will always be awesome, and Good will always fight Evil.
In one universe just such a thing was happening.
A man named Goku, born on the planet Vegeta an unknown number of years ago, was a saiyan of massive power and not so much I.Q.. His main objective in life was to have good fights and take care of his family. He had no real care for the gadgets and devices that most other people would kill over and the thought of infidelity never crossed his mind because he didn't even know it existed.
The only real problem that Goku had with his life was that it seemed every few years another super powered asshole was after the dragon balls, a set of seven crystaline balls with red stars numbering between one and seven that when gathered together could grant almost any wish. The limitations were few and guidelines were as clear as tax law.
Most of these wanabe galactic emperors were after the dragon balls to wish for immortality. They probably would have succeeded if not for the fact that either they or their minions more often then not went on an unprovoked killing spree. Goku, being the good guy that he is, would eventually have to step in to stop them. In the process the main bad guy of the year would of course get pissed and indignant and demand that Goku roll over and die. Goku would not.
It was one such scenario that brings us to this story here.
A new enemy, by the name of Alpha, had come for the dragon balls. In the process one of Alpha's minions, Theta, destroyed a small city. Goku of course came to aid the distressed civilians as soon as news reached him.
Alpha, unlike some of the other foes that Goku had faced, decided not to mess around. He proceeded to open a portal behind Goku, then blasted him with a ki bomb sending the saiyan hero on a high velocity trip through a multidimensional gateway.
Now, out of all the possible dimensions that Goku could have possibly wound up in he landed in one that some people lovingly refer to as DC.. As he entered this dimension, over a city known as Metropolis, he was still moving at high speed.
Reporter Lois Lane, a tenacious woman if there ever was one, happened to look up just in time to see this. She imediately ordered her tag along, Jimmy Olsen, to photograph what appeared to be a meteor.
Jimmy however happened to be a little better at estimated trajectory than Lois and had seen where the meteor was about to land, about twenty feet infront of them, and began to drag Lois away.
Unfortunately not quite fast enough as Lois was struck with a small piece of debris knocking her out cold.
The super hero of the city, Superman, came to investigate. The first sight he beheld was a scuffed up and dirty Jimmy Olsen tending to a fallen Lois Lane with a bleeding head wound. Now if anyone knows anything about anything DC related then they know that Superman has a real hard on for Lois and has been known to act overly emotional and sometimes, though few and far between, unreasonable in her defence.
So it was understandable for Superman to attack the first thing that even looked like it was the cause of his girlfriend's distress. At that exact second Goku shot up out of the crater he created in his landing, hair glowing the golden energy of super saiyan, and blue energy gathered in his fists, looking around for Alpha to pay him back for that cheap shot. It was also understandable that when Superman saw this apparently violent alien coupled with his desire to pound Lois's attacker that he punched first and asked questions later.
Goku, not willing to go down without a fight no matter who he was fighting, struggled against the man of steel.
Superman was surprised at how well this strange alien man could fight and decided to kick things up a few notches. It was perhaps one of the few fights where Superman wouldn't have to hold back his strength.
Goku not to be out done also decided to bring things up to a new level. He jumped into super saiyan two and then right into super saiyan three, his hair growing out to the back of his knees and rejoined the fight with Superman.
Over the next five minute the two continued to channel more and more explosive force into their fight. After five minutes, with the gate way Alpha had opened earlier already weakening the dimensional barrier, it became little more than a shredded screen door with combined powers of the man of steel and the low born super saiyan.
Creatures and people began pouring in from hundred of different dimensions. Jesus riding a T-rex, a floating box of fries with a mustache and a weird gem on its back, a giant milk shake, a ball of meat, a four foot tall robotic chicken, and orange haired kid with a giant sword in a black gi, a a naked yellow kid with only three fingers on a skateboard, Russ Cargill, an elvish looking guy with an orange half otter half weasel sitting on his shoulder, a man with three metal claws jutting out between the knuckles of each hand and his brother who had bonelike claws for finger nails, a pink pudgy little thing with no discernable extremeties beyond red shoes, and more various creatures and people.
The fight went on for six days, forty seven flashbacks, and thirteen unnecessary monologues about either fighter's life and the hardships they faced On the sixth day of the fight and just after the forty seventh flashback, the pudgy pink creature decided it was hungry. Now this creature, unlike the two above it fighting like Tom and Jerry, was rather simple. It's thought process could basically summed up as follows:
Hungry? Eat.
Not Hungry? Don't eat.
Six days was enough to make this creature very hungry. It's unthreatening appearance had it immediately written off as part of the opposition by both Goku and Superman, making it rather pathetically easy for the little pink ball of pudge to climb on top of the nearest building, open the bottomless blackhole it called a mouth, and exert a galeforce sucking power that neither fighter was ready for, ending up with the two of them being sucked into the pink ones stomach.
Kirby wins.
The End