An International Incident

Prologue

Mother Should I trust the Government-Pink Floyd

Beam me up Mr. Speaker, Beam me up-Jim Trafficant

Just How deep do you believe, when you bite the hand that feeds-Trent Reznor

The line of armored limousines moved down the gravel lined roadway like ants on a mission to get at a picnic basket. Brock Samson sat in the front of the lead vehicle and looked out into the vast expanse of woodland that was the Menken County Wildlife and Game Preserve. Brock had been the royal family's guard since 1992 before then he was a CIA spook who was frequently in enemy territory looking for plans for some Bolshevik to nuke The States to kingdom come. He came to despise everything this place was, if you had to spend a night in a cold Siberian forest with nothing but a K ration and coat you would hate nature too; but the Duke had wanted this and so did Prince Gil, so after saying their goodbyes to President Fenton and his wife Maddy they landed at Rickenbacker Air Force Base and set out to hunt. The target was going to be foxes, a favorite of the royals in Western Europe and to shoot them they had to pull a few strings. The governor had taken a lot of flak for allowing them to do this, hunting foxes was out of bounds in the buckeye state and he had to pull a few strings and shoo away a few hundred PETA protesters to do it. The line of limos stopped at a clearing, Brock swung his wide frame out of the car and opened the door for the queen and her two family members. Queen Gloria of Andilasia was a staunch environmentalist; the whole purpose of the trip to America was to promote "Going Green" and that is what pissed Brock off. Her son and his uncle walked over to an armored van where two shotguns were being held, a guard handed the weapons to each of them. "I still think this is horrific, what you two are doing." Gloria said as she went to the car and grabbed the shotgun shells. "Aw come on, mother, it's just a sport, ancient as man itself." Gil said and loaded a shell into the chamber and placed few in his pleated Dockers. Duke Francis smirked, "If it is such a sport then why don't we make a bet on who bags the most kill? Think of it as a gentlemanly wager." Gil shook his head, "No way, I don't want to bet anything. This is just a quiet trip in the woods." Francis laughed, "Whatever you say." And he followed Gil into the woods.

One thing to note about the Menken County Wildlife and Game Preserve is that it is not only a place for sport, but a hiking spot. The sign should say "state forest" as well, but budget cuts meant that a little place like this couldn't afford an upgrade even if it only cost twenty-nine bucks to fix. This was the problem with the Venture administration, the state budget had to be scaled back so much that even little things like updating a sign needed government approval. Tuition to state colleges had gone up; unemployment was up and for what, so the Governor could get his wish of slot machines in harness racing tracks. This is why he has the lowest approval rating in the state. It dropped even lower when the queen requested to go fox hunting at a wildlife preserve. Hippies from all across Ohio came and picketed his office, he received pictures of dead, mutilated animals in his mail, and the hatred was intense. Brock lit a Marlboro Red and took a drag as he watched the queen walk up the hiking path. "Ya know what I don't get is why she does this shit?" he said as he looked at his right hand man Fredrick Kowalski. "I know what you mean. That speech she gave at the White House last night, the bullshit about protecting our children's future and our planets. This bitch wants cars to smell like burnt French fries, ya know that biodiesel. Before you know it the whole world is going to smell like rotten pussy!" Kowalski said looking at his watch. Brock took another drag, "Yet she still allows her son to go hunting? What a fucking hypocrite." The men stood at ready, hoping the queen would be all right by herself.

Gil could see the fox, its orange fur enhanced by the early afternoon sunlight, slowly approaching he lowered his gun and aimed and pulled the trigger. The fox darted, Gil gave chase, reloading his gun as he ran. The fox had just peeked out of a bush when Gloria saw him. "Oh no, go shoo, run away!" She said she barely heard the gun blast rip through her body.

Brock was still kibitzing with Kowalski; they had managed to catch Sportscenter in the hotel before they left. "Ya think that numb cunt Jerry Jones will fix his damn scoreboard? Ya know the thing is going to get hit again." Kowalski said as Brock pulled out another Marlboro. The radio crackled with fevered ferocity. "Tango to fox trot one, tango to fox trot one; we have got a problem. The prince and queen are down I repeat the prince and queen are down." A voice said. Brock picked up his radio, "Where are you?" He said. The voice spoke again, "Five miles north of the green zone, this is bad. Looks like Gil shot himself and his mom!" Brock raced up the hiking trail, Kowalski knew his job; he pulled out his cell phone and dialed the police.

Detective Shinichi Kudo sat in the interrogation room, the light from a single sixty watt bulb hung from the ceiling. The scumbag sitting in front of him was a twenty one year old tweaker. The kid had been smoking meth since he was eighteen and looked like hell. Meth sores covered his arms and face and he smelled like garbage. The kid was there for a reason; at two thirty in the morning Ponyo city police were responding to a murder. A twenty five year old woman had been killed in her apartment; her boy friend's PS3 and her jewelry were stolen. This would have been a case of felony theft had she had not caught him smoking ice in her bathroom. He had stabbed her twenty seven times in the chest and neck. The worst thing was that the dumb son of bitch had left his meth pipe behind, fingerprints, they always find you. Jimmy looked at the kid; his eyes were as big as ping pong balls with large pupils. "Okay one more time, why did you kill her?" Kudo said as he watched the kid fidget in his cuffs. 'She was harshing my buzz! Look, can I just go home I need some sleep man." Jimmy leaned over the table. "You know you're full of shit. You chose that apartment and that woman for a reason. I know why. He's a known meth dealer; we found baggies of the shit everywhere. What did he do, sell you a bad batch? No, the real reason was is that you got a hold of some fake shit, looks like fucking rock candy because it is. You wanted revenge didn't you? Don't say anything we tested it all. No amphetamine in sight." The kid looked at him, "Yeah I did it okay, you want the truth you got it now please get these motherfucking handcuffs off me!" he shouted. Kudo sent in an officer and the tweaker was escorted out of the room. Walking towards his office he heard the chief shout. "Kudo!" he said, Jimmy walked over to the door, "Yeah?" he said, the chief spit into a cup, "Get you and Maebara's asses down to the wildlife preserve on thirty nine. Looks like some shit might be going down and the Governor needs some people to look around and see if any funny shit is going on." Jimmy smiled "An order from Der Fuher himself." He turned to Keiichi's desk, "Let's Roll, Adolf Venture wants us to poke around a crime scene. Probably some dumb hunting accident." Kudo said Keiichi looked at him, "It's not just any hunting accident," he said, "the queen and the prince of Andilasia just died." Slipping into the car he wondered how bad things would get and hoped the press wasn't there.

Governor Thaddeus Venture looked out the window of his office. The sky had turned from blue to a misty grey, a sign that rain was coming and still the protesters were still standing on the steps. Signs reading various hippie slogans like "Save the foxes, not royalty" and "Venture+ Wildlife= first degree murder" were being held by people in PETA shirts and tie-dye. "Fred?" Venture said to his chief of staff. "Yes sir?" Fred said pouring himself a scotch, "How long till those fuckers get off this property?" Venture said Fred took a sip, "They have a permit you know? I'll give them until they hear the news, then they'll start blasting Kool and the Gang from little boom boxes." He said, "I don't give a shit if they have a permit or not. I want them the fuck away from here. Now Channel Ten is here, Christ! Shouldn't they be on thirty nine by now? This is the biggest cluster fuck to happen since coin-gate under Taft's administration." He said and then sat in a plush leather chair and grabbed his scotch. "Where are the local cops now?" Venture said flipping on his TV to a twenty-four hour news outlet covering the story. "See CNN is covering it, why can't our news cover it. You didn't answer my question!" Fred looked at his watch, "They should be there now." He said Venture flipped the TV off, "Get Fillmore in here, I want to make a statement." He said and took another sip of scotch it was going to be a long day.

State route 39 takes you from the outskirts of Ponyo City to the boondocks of Menken County; it is here where people make a living farming, or selling fruit by the road. Life is simple, or at least it was until the news vans and police cars had came flying down the road like bats out of hell. Detective Shinichi Kudo and his partner Keiichi Maebara turned off the road onto gravel lined stretch that led to the wildlife preserve. "How much do you want to bet the place is swarming with feds and news crews?" Keiichi asked as they reached the crime scene, Jimmy's black Mercedes making little noise on the gravel. "I don't have to bet, I know!" he said, Keiichi stepped out of the car, "I thought monarchies didn't exist in this day in age?" he said, Kudo slammed his door shut and turned his collar up to protect him from the bitter chill in the air. "The royal family of Andilasia serves more as a figurehead than a governing body; in essence they are just a constitutional monarchy like England." He said as a man in a blue police uniform greeted him, "You must be Venture's boys?" he said Kudo nodded, "Where are the bodies?" The cop pointed to a van pulling away. "Just missed them boys, CSI has went over everything with a god damn fine tooth comb and couldn't find shit. You can give it a try if you'ns wants but it is doubtful you'll find shit." He said Kudo walked over to the cherry blossom and surveyed the scene. "Keiichi, look at that branch up there." He said standing on tip-toes "Why?" Maebara said as he walked over, "This branch has a powder burn on it, pitch black tip, and no blossom. Now tell me this, if the queen was shot in the chest as the news reports claim, why would there be a sheared off branch with a black tip?" Kudo said. "Look Jim, if this is one of your god damn bullshit theories I don't wanna hear it!" Keiichi said, Kudo sighed, "Look all I'm saying is this is suspicious. Maybe if we interview the Duke then we'll get some answers and find out why this is!" Kudo said Maebara shook his head, "No can do, Jimmy Boy, chief told me ahead of time to not interview any member of the royal family for any reason. The chief and the governor said this was an accident and they are treating it as such." Kudo threw up his hands, "Then why are we here?" he said, Keiichi smiled, "To make Thaddy boy look as if he is tough and handling the situation properly. You heard what the local boy said, CSI couldn't find shit. Look let's go back to the precinct, grab our shit and go home." Jimmy sighed and headed towards the car, he wondered if human life meant something anymore.

"God damn it where's my speech?" Thad Venture said as he had his fifth scotch of the day, he was in the governor's mansion watching Channel Ten news at eleven and was waiting for the little mishap to come on. "In other news tonight, Governor Thad Venture gave a speech earlier today on the apparent accidental death and subsequent suicide of the Prince and Queen of Andilasia." Thad threw up his hands, "Other news? What other news, this is the biggest fucking thing to happen to Ohio since the 2004 presidential election." The anchor continued, "Governor Venture stated that he shared his condolences with the family and asked that all flags be flown at half staff until the funeral in Andilasia next week. Coming up, next a local college's extreme measures to deal with H1N1 and how you can protect yourself." The TV then showed a local car dealership's AD. "God damn, son of a bitch, I know John West and his cronies at the Ohio Democratic Party were behind this. His fucking friend owns this station and the god damn newspaper in town! Mother fucking cocksucker, if I see that son of a bitch I'll rip his throat out." Venture shouted his wife nudged him in the side, "Lay off the scotch and get some sleep, Christ do you want to have security come in again?" Eva said as she tossed in bed. "I'll fucking kill him." Thad said and lay down.

Shinichi Kudo lay in bed, thought's of the burnt branch and the governor's stubbornness was all he could keep inside. It was at eleven P.M when his phone rang. Picking it up he rubbed his eyes, "Hello?" a raspy voice female came over the other end. "I need help." The voice said bluntly, Kudo looked at his clock, "You need to call 911 for that not a detective, how did you get my number?" he said the voice spoke again. "All you need to know is the word 'orb' Google it and see what you can find. Please Detective Kudo; someone needs to know the truth." The voice said and hung up. "Hello? Hello?" Kudo said, hopping out of bed and going to his computer he typed in the word "orb" to see what he could find.

Meanwhile at a payphone a young woman hung up and walked in a hurry to her car, making sure no one was following her. They had been following her for the past few nights, she knew it all, every little secret, who was involved, and how much. Now two lives were lost because of it and she prayed to god that she wasn't the third. Lighting a cigarette with a shaky hand she turned on her car and looked in the mirror. No bright lights tonight, thank god, turning on her Katy Perry CD she drove off. "You're not getting away with this one, piggies not by a long shot." On her rear view mirror hung a press badge it said Kagome Higurashi, reporter Ponyo Dispatch.