Title: 300 Seconds
Summary: For Casey and Severide this night could be their toughest situation yet! And why is Shay happy about it?
Disclaimer: Chicago Fire and its characters are the property of Dick Wolfe, NBC and….well sadly not me lol
A/N: Okay so I wanted to try something funny for our boys and came up with this idea when watching the eppy in House where Dr. Chase (the ever yummy Jesse Spencer's) character goes speed dating damn he was sooo cute in that haha. So wanted to try that with our boys. Hope you all like it.
Shay looks over at her roommate and frowns. It had been a tough week and both him and Casey, each having made calls that had pissed the other off; threatening to once again strain their burgeoning friendship; and had ended the day with only a few curt words.
"You're moping," she announces as Severide looks up with a small frown. "Why?"
"Not moping."
"Casey?"
"Tense week. No biggie."
"Liar," she states lightly.
"So we're not close..."
"You get any further apart and you know things will suck around the house for all of us," she reminds him in truth.
But when he doesn't retort back she knows he's stewing about it. Stubborn man! Time for a plan to get them bonding again but without them suspecting it up front, her mind muses as she fishes around in her purse, purposing dropping a piece of paper within his grabbing distance just as he gets up off the couch and nears her.
"What's this?" Severide asks as he snatches away the small piece of paper from his roommates grasp and looks at the writing; a few seconds later her fingers snatching it back.
"Give that back Kelly."
"This is….no way…really? You?"
"It sounded like a fun evening out," Shay retorts as she pours herself a half glass of wine.
"You are not desperate," he reminds her in truth.
"You're right. However…I thought it would be fun and I'm fun. Look Grace told me about this and she and Mary met…"
"No way…they met speed dating?" Severide asks in surprise. "I thought that only…you know desperate…whatever's did that."
"You wanna come and see for yourself?"
"Hardly. I'm not desperate either."
"Are you afraid I'll get more numbers than you?" Shay goads.
"You're kidding right? I'm a firefighter…lots of numbers comes with the job," he playfully boasts to which she just rolls her eyes.
"Okay how about we set a wager."
"I'm not going. There is no way…"
"Come on," Shay pouts as Severide purses his lips and frowns.
"That look isn't fair."
"Hey at least I didn't cry," she smirks. "What's the big deal? So you get a few new phone numbers to toss away."
"I don't need the extra attention."
"Again with the 51 ego," she groans. "Are you seriously afraid to lose to me?"
"I wouldn't lose. Casey maybe but…"
"He's not even here to defend himself," Shay reminds him.
"I'm not going," Severide insists as he pulls away from the kitchen island and heads into the living room. "Ask Matt to go."
"He's…"
"It's been a few months for him and Hallie right? He needs to get out."
"Would you go if he would?" Shay groans. "I can't believe I'm even asking that, it's so grade 2."
"You get Casey to say yes and…no way he'd say yes so forget it."
"If I get him to say yes will you go?" Shay challenges.
"After this week?"
"Is that a challenge?" Shay counters.
"Look he's no…the answer is no…to both."
"Kelly…for me?"
"When is it?" Severide starts to resign.
"This one is on Friday night. Say yes."
"You know my terms."
"And they say women are hard to get along with…oh wait they are," she laughs at her own joke as she gets up and heads back to the kitchen, working on a plan to get Casey involved in the outing.
XXXXXXXX
"Are you serious? Speed dating?" Casey asks in utter surprise as he looks at Shay early the following morning as they stand alone in the quiet locker room.
"It's not like I'm asking you to come and watch me sacrifice small children or something," she groans in reply.
"Five minutes to make some awkward comments and hope you still have some semblance of self-respect when you leave?"
"It'll be fun."
"When you mock…wait…you said Kelly agreed to this?"
"Yes so you need to come."
"Is this like a joke or something?" Casey inquires.
"No, not a joke."
"You promise this won't end up on Otis's blog or something?"
"Scouts honor."
"Wrong hand," Casey frowns.
"Okay so fine I was never in the scouts, but I promise this won't make anyone's highlight reel except the three of ours to discuss if we want."
"Why are you doing this again?"
"I'm bored and you two need a life," she smiles.
"A life?"
"Fine a one night stand whatever…just show up," she retorts as she shoves the small ticket in his hands and turns and leaves; marching right up to Severide and placing the other in his, Casey appearing in the doorway looking at his fellow 51 Lieutenant in wonder.
"Really? He said yes?" Severide asks in shock as case nears them. "You said yes?"
"Dress nice."
"A tux?" Severide jokes.
"Full gear might work better for your ego," she counters as he just rolls his eyes.
"How did she talk us into this?" Casey asks with a small huff as he comes and stands beside Severide, looking at him with a small frown.
"You ever said no to her successfully?" Severide counters with a small smirk.
"And you used me as your excuse?" Casey looks at him in surprise.
"Seemed like a good idea at the time," Severide shrugs. "So…what do you think?"
"You wanna go?"
"We back out and she'll never let us live it down losing to her you know that. So…I'll go if you will."
"Really?"
"Sure why not," Severide answers slowly. "Gotta try things at least once right?"
"I think…we better come up with a better cover story than we are both firefighters."
"Or else we'll have every desperate female in Chicago…"
"Showing up here," Casey concludes with a small smile. "We could always turn them on to Mouch if they ask for either of us and say we used his name," he walks away with a small chuckle.
"I might consider that!"
XXXXXXXX
"And you're sure there are no hidden camera's anywhere?" Casey wonders as he, Shay and Severide slowly head toward the entrance for the ladies night speed dating session.
"What if we run into people we know?" Severide lightly moans as Shay turns and looks at them with arched brows. "Fine," he grumbles before he looks at Casey with a frown. "Told you."
"And remember…no mention of firehouse 51," Shay reminds them both as she looks at their attire, both wearing dark jeans, a casual top and leather jackets. "Gotta keep this fair."
"Right I am a part time contractor," Casey pipes up.
"And I'm a wanna be mechanic," Severide adds.
"Person who gets the least amount of numbers has to buy the other two a round."
"She didn't want us in full gear or she knows she'd lose," Severide jokes as they enter the noisy auditorium. Both men look around at all the other males around them; whispering to each other about who looked the most desperate.
"She's still gonna lose," Casey boasts with a broad smile as Severide nods in agreement.
"You realize if she kicks our asses in this place we'll never hear the end of it," Severide offers glumly.
"We can still leave now."
"Some of them don't look half bad," Severide suddenly comments as he catches the eye of a cute blond a few tables down.
"And some…" Casey turns to him with a frown. "Look really scary. I think that one's a man."
"I'll be here if you two need me," Shay grins as she goes and heads for a special section for the lady daters only.
"Well…" Severide comments lightly as he takes a beer and then hands one to Casey. "Just remember our pact."
"Firm denial and Shay was drunk when she asked and only thought we said yes. Got it!" Casey nods as he takes a swig of his beer; a hush falling over the waiting mail crowd as the female host appears and a distinct 'gong' sound is heard.
"Ladies and gentlemen the fun is about to start. When I strike this gong, each man go and sit at the table you've been assigned. When I strike it again, date's over and move on."
"Ready?"
"Remind me why again we are doing this?" Casey groans.
"We can't say no to Shay."
XXXXXXXX
~Casey~
"Hi…I'm Matt. And you are?"
"I'm wonderful now."
"Ok-ay. So what is your name?" Please let this end soon. 5 minutes. 300 seconds. Way too long!
"Mable. You know it sounds good with Matthew dontcha think? Matthew and Mable?"
"Sure. So what do you do?" Casey inquires, wondering if she's as drunk as suspected or just acting like she is. Help me!
"Whatever you want me to," she giggles.
"Right," he replies, offering her a small smile. Shay is so going to pay for this. Is this woman drunk?
"So what do you do?"
"I'm a contractor. Houses and stuff."
"Really? You know my cousin had this guy build this house for his wife and…" her voice trails off into a small tirade before she offers him a toothy smile and suddenly stops. "Maybe you can help him."
"Well…he really should go back to the original contractor. Am sure they have an agreement." Wish she was drunk.
"You're really smart. Cute to. So are you free tonight?" She asks eagerly. "Wanna go have sex in your truck. Right now?"
"Is that the time?" Please…where is the door?
XXXXXXXX
~Severide~
"Hi there," Severide asks as he sits down at his first table.
"Well hi there yourself."
Doesn't seem so bad so far.
"So what do you do for work?" The woman named Cathy inquires.
"I'm a part time mechanic," Severide replies with a small smile.
"Really? A mechanic. So is it true that mechanics just look at those nudie calendars and talk about sex all day long?"
Uh…what? "Well I guess maybe some do?" Severide shrugs, offering her a weak grin. "Not all of us do."
"Why is that?"
"Well maybe because you work with your hands and stuff…you know the talk…lube jobs and stuff," Severide stammers. Shay is going to pay for this.
"Think women mechanics do that?"
"Maybe." Is this turn over yet?
"Well that's lame."
"Yup…it is." So is this.
XXXXXXXX
~Casey~
Okay I'll try a different approach with this one. "Amelia…that's a really nice name. Any special significance behind it?"
"I think it was the name of the hotel my dad first met my mom and they had me…she was a stripper or something."
"Ok-ay." Bad move…really really bad move.
"You like strippers?"
Is she for real? Either way I'm screwed here…so be honest. "Not really my thing."
"Are you gay?"
"Uh…no…why would I be here…" Casey stammers with a small groan. "So what do you do for work?"
"I'm a stripper."
"Course you are," he replies with a very strained smile. Yup…Shay's gonna pay for this. Kelly too. Hope he's as miserable as I am.
"Here's my card," she pulls out a small business card for the club and shoves it into his hands.
Is she serious? "No that's…oka…"
"Don't worry…I'll pretend I don't know you when you come in. Less awkward."
"For who?" He groans, getting a loud laugh and feeling himself shrinking lower into his chair. This is getting worse!
XXXXXXXX
~Severide~
"Really a mechanic? Awesome. Wanna give me a lube job?" The next woman asks, causing Severide to nearly choke on his beer.
"Your car?"
"Course my car," she replies. "Unless you want to give me one…you know personally. You know a good tip."
"Right…well we don't really get tips," Severide answers with a small smile. Okay so far…this one seems…
"No tips? Have you told your boss? You should take it up with your boss. You're in the service industry right?"
She's kidding right? "My boss…uh no."
"Well that's just wrong. Are you in a union?"
"Union? No I work for myself. I'm my own boss."
"So you could take tips then?"
Okay…I'm going to give her a tip right away. "I could but it doesn't work that way."
"Well tell me where your shop is and I'll make sure you get a great tip. I can come by really early in the morning."
Shay's toast. "You know…I don't think I have an opening…"
"Oh I don't mind waiting," she grins. "Where's your shop?"
Someone help me.
XXXXXXXX
~Casey~
Okay don't ask about meaning the name… "So…Destiny…"
"Yes…what's yours?"
"Matt."
"No I meant your destiny. What is your destiny?"
Pardon…my destiny? What on earth? "My…destiny? I uh…don't know."
"I mean do you want to be just a contractor all your life or something more…grander?"
"Well I really want…"
"What month were you born?"
Like I am going to tell her anything personal. "I uh…I'm not really… so do you like…"
"You must know what month you were born. I mean everyone knows what month they were born," she tosses back. "I mean just because my name is destiny doesn't mean that I automatically know what the future holds but it helps to know."
"Right of course." Please someone pull the fire alarm!
"You have to have a plan and then stick with it. Course it depends on what the stars have in store for you also."
"Am sure it matters." Is time up yet?"
XXXXXXXX
~Severide~
"So do you like dogs?"
"Sure," Severide replies with a small shrug as he gives her a smile. "I have…" Maybe she's normal?
"What do you do about all the hair?"
"Oh no sorry I don't have one."
"You said I have one…"
Is she for real? "No I was going to say I haven't had one since I was a kid."
"Oh why not?"
"My roommate and I live in a loft apartment that won't allow dogs. Plus we work craz…"
"You should move. Both of you."
Okay…not normal…damn it. "Well we like the place we have and don't really want to move."
"You should move and you should get a dog."
"So what kind of dog do you have?"
"Oh I don't like dogs. I like reptiles. Ever had a lizard?"
"No." Someone please help me!
XXXXXXXX
~Casey~
"Hello Clara…I'm Matt."
"Hi…so is this your first time here?"
"First and possibly last," Casey answers with a small smile.
"Yeah mine too. Came with a friend. I mean no offense but most of the guys here…so lame," she offers lightly.
Seems semi-normal. "So what do you do for work?"
"Paper pusher…kinda boring. How about you?"
Seems more normal…"Construction contractor. I work for myself."
"Must be nice to set your own hours and such. So meet anyone interesting tonight?"
Maybe this one could work out. "A few. A few have said they just did it on a bet or a dare. What about you?" Casey inquires.
"A dare. But then I always go for a dare," Clara laughs. "Speaking of want to dare me to pull the fire alarm and see what happens?" She snickers. "You know give those fire fighters that just sit around something to do."
Sit around? What? "Well I think there's a fine involved for pulling a prank."
"You're no fun."
Trust me neither are you. Next!
XXXXXXXX
~Severide~
"So Roberta right?"
"And Kelly…interesting name. You don't seem girly."
"Well….thanks. Blame my mom," Severide smirks as he takes a sip of his beer, wishing the ground would open and swallow him up. "Having fun tonight?"
"I am now. Wanna do something crazy?"
Crazy? Uh…"Well I guess that depends," Severide offers lightly. "Is it illegal?"
"Oh hell no. I don't want to go to jail for this."
Okay legal crazy I can handle. Maybe some hot sex? "Okay so….what did you have in mind?"
"Okay so you see that guy over there? A few tables down? The one that looks like Vin Diesel?"
"Sure what about him?"
"Will you go get his number for me? You know pretend you're a friend or something?"
"Pardon? Are you serious?"
"Yes. So will you?"
"Uh no sorry." Okay can I fake a heart attack yet?
XXXXXXXX
~Casey~
This is the last one…better be… "Susan?"
"Hi…Matt right? Well at least you look normal," she smirks as Casey slowly sits down.
"Normal? I can assure I am quite normal."
"So hard to tell these days with people who come here. I mean why come here?"
"You're here?"
"I was bored and needed a good laugh."
"Okay so what do you do for work?"
"I'm a stand-up comedian."
"Really?"
"Well trying. Figured I'd get some good material here. Wanna help me?"
Help her? Like practice lines? "Depends. Will I factor into your skit?" Please say no.
"Course. I'll just change your name. What do you think about Rinaldo? What do you do again? Desperate contractor?"
"I think I need another drink."
Okay that's it…I'm done.
XXXXXXXX
~Severide~
"Okay Kelly I am just going to be open and honest right now…"
Great…can't wait to hear this one's lame story.
"I just came here to get laid."
"Really?" He asks, trying to hold back a smirk. Okay she's blunt but honest…I can work with that.
"I know it sounds shallow but meeting a one night stand at a speeding dating was on my bucket list so what the hell right?"
"Sure. But after the last one I gotta make sure you're not into anything…"
"Haha yeah she's very...odd. But trust me nothing weird. I mean I like to be on top and such but um…do you have a problem with that?"
"Not at all. I'm not here looking for anything serious either." Finally…a woman I understand!
"Perfect!"
"So you wanna get outta here?" Severide asks with a sincere smile. At least tonight won't be a total waste!
"Leave? Another thing on my list is to have sex in public. Let's find a booth!"
"Uh…no thanks."
Okay that's it…I'm done.
XXXXXXXX
"Are we done yet?"
"Don't even get me started…" Casey utters in a low tone as he nears Severide near the bar, the end of the speeding dating session nearing a close.
"Where is Shay? Remind me to thank her for a lame time."
"No winners I take it?" Casey smirks.
"Oh lots of those. At least if we came in full gear it would have been handed the shallow fluuzy routine right up front," Severide growls as Casey agrees and then nods at Shay as she nears them.
"And that we could have handled," Casey pumps fists with Severide as Shay stops and smiles.
"Have fun?" She asks with a cryptic smile; neither man cluing in on her ploy to get them to bond and make peace over something she knew they'd both hate.
"Oh yeah a whole truck load of fun," Severide deadpans. "Casey?"
"Would have rather stayed at work and cleaned the truck. You?"
"Always have fun," she replies with a small wink. "In fact, I even have a date for tonight. You guys?"
"Yeah a date with Jack Daniels," Severide retorts as he looks over at Casey. "You in?"
"I'm there."
"Well you two enjoy your drunken threesome and I'll see you later."
"So what happens now?" Casey asks with a small sigh, wanting nothing more than to leave this place and never return.
"You collect your phone numbers and…"
"Burn them?" Severide interjects as Casey chuckles; the three of them turn and heading for the host.
"I hope you all enjoyed your evening," the female host starts to look for their names. "Okay Kelly Severide…these are for you," she hands him a modest amount of cards with names and numbers on them. "Matt Casey…for you. You boys did quite good," she hands him a packet about the same size. "And Leslie Shay…these…wow you must have made a great impression tonight," she hands her a deck double that of the boys.
"Seriously?" Severide grumbles as the three of them head for the door. "What did you tell them?"
"I'm a paramedic and could give them a full body exam," Shay grins.
"That's cheating," Severide huffs. "You said…no real jobs."
"For you two, not me."
"Shoulda worn full gear," Casey shakes his head and snickers as the cool night air embraces them.
"Next time," Shay giggles, making both Casey and Severide look at each other and literally in unison offer, "not going to be a next time."
"There's a great bar just down the block," Casey mentions. "I need a real drink."
"I'm there," Severide replies as they both nod to Shay and pull away; turning back to see a rather exotic woman exit and walk up to her. "Figures," Severide smirks as he turns back. "So...wanna swap stories?"
"Sure you could handle it?"
"I had a woman that wanted to have sex right there on the table."
"I had one that wanted to have sex in the truck…right outside."
"I had one that wanted me to get a dog and move," Severide shakes his head. "And don't get me started on the lame mechanics jokes. Okay what else?"
"I had one that wanted me to pull the fire alarm," Casey groans.
"Damn you should have…would have spared me from meeting…" his voice trails off as the two of them head for the bar, laughing and talking about their eventful night, both promising, however, to never do it again or tell anyone they know and not realizing that they had both been successfully played by a friend with their friendship at mind.
THE END!
A/N: WARNING humor is not my strong point but wanted to give this a shot and hope that it was at least enjoyable. So I gave our boys 5 short sessions each; wasn't sure how many of their lame dates you wanted to read and am sure that normal people do go speed dating but hey its fiction and I didn't want it to be serious so that's why nothing normal haha But am nervous on this and would love your feedback so please do review before you go and thanks so much!