Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the movie Zootopia are owned by Disney the great and powerful. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

The phrase a busman's holiday means a vacation that looks like work. Dorothy L. Sayers wrote a play, Busman's Honeymoon, which she then adapted into a novel. Her hero, Peter Wimsey, is one of the great gentlemen detectives of British fiction. Okay, I should be honest. Some of the stories suffer the same shortcomings of most the genre. An occasional villainous plot will be far too elaborate, and on occasion the hero has a ridiculous amount of knowledge in his head (and all of the gentleman detectives have the ability to dismiss one thousand details to glom onto the one single fact that magically reveals the solution). But Wimsey at his best is wonderful, and even at his worst is readable. Busman's Honeymoon is set late in the series. Wimsey finally marries mystery writer Harriet Vane, and late in the evening they arrive at a rented house for their honeymoon. In the morning they find the body of the home's owner in the basement. Nothing quite so exciting for Nick and Judy.

Chapter title adapted from a line in William Congreve's play The Old Bachelor by William Congreve. Congreve was a bright light in the comedy of manners genre. The Restoration Period, in which he wrote, allowed racier subject matter than the preceding or following periods. Restoration theater allowed women to play the roles of women. While this may seem, "Well, duh!" to the modern reader in Elizabethan theater women were not allowed to perform on the stage... So the original Juliet in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet was a guy in drag. Sweet dreams, gentle readers.

Set immediately after Festina Lente.

Marry in Haste, Repent in Leisure

Judy nudged Nick, "Wake up, we need to get into work."

The fox groaned, "We didn't get to bed until after two. C'mon, even Alces can't be so sadistic that he wants us in."

"We've got a ton of work to do."

"You had lead. You have a ton of work to do. Me? I plan to put my feet up on the desk, sip coffee, and tell you you're doing a swell job."

The bunny gave him a fast kiss. "Darn, it's too late to fall out of love with you." She then placed a foot against him, and gave a push, toppling him out of bed.

"Strong leg muscles," Nick groaned as he rose from the floor. "Must be from playing football."

Ben Clawhauser offered congratulations as they entered the First, "Everybody's talking about last night's raid. It's the biggest bust in years!" He looked specifically at Judy. "You were incredible."

"And I don't deserve any praise. I had a great bunch of officers working with me. They did all the work."

"Don't believe it," Nick told the desk sergeant. "She did it all by herself."

"And now he's fishing for compliments," Judy said in a exasperated tone. "He knows I couldn't have done anything without him, or the others."

"And you're in early! It had to be way after midnight before you got..." the pudgy cheetah looked at Judy. "I guess I could believe you'd be in on time. Nick... I wasn't so sure."

"That's it, kick the fox while he's down. I'd still be in bed, but someone kicked me out this morning."

"What was her name?" asked Judy. "Anyone I know?"

"I doubt it, I didn't even get her name, just picked her up–"

"Stop it, you two," Ben warned. "You make my head hurt when you kid around like that."

"Kid around?" asked Nick. "I'm telling you–"

Judy grabbed his arm and pulled, "Work to do, partner. Your sense of humor is an acquired taste."

There were several calls of congratulations as they entered the bullpen, and Alces came to his office door to see the source of the commotion. "In already? I didn't expect you for hours." He gestured them into his office, and pointed at the chairs – suggesting he would talk with them for a few minutes.

"Good work last night. I heard you didn't leave the hospital until almost two... Know anything about a little disturbing of the peace at the hospital this morning? Must have been about the time you left. A couple female weasels."

"Er, no idea," lied Nick.

"Ah, no arrests, I hope?" Judy asked.

"Let 'em off with a warning. Back to last night's raid. I really didn't expect you before noon."

"It's Judy's fault," insisted Nick. "It's that darn work ethic she picked up on the farm. Always insisting hard work will get you ahead."

The moose looked at Judy. "Any chance you can pass some of that work ethic off to the fox here? Or maybe I should just gag him. He's trying hard to ruin my good mood."

"I'm doing my best, Sir, but you have to remember what I have to work with."

"True enough," Alces grinned. "Well, glad you're here early. You'll be doing paper work for that case for weeks. Wilde?"

"Yes?"

"Detective Nyte sustained minor injuries last night and–"

"I was injured too!"

The captain looked down at the paper in front of him. "I don't see any mention of that."

"Puncture wounds, from a porcupine."

"Didn't they teach you how to deal with a porcupine at the academy?"

"He broke free. He was cuffed to a bar stool, but he–"

"I really don't care. Are you able to work today?"

"Sure. Judy is handling most of the paperwork, but I'll pitch in and–"

"Nope, since Nyte is out you'll be working with Hairus." He handed Nick a file folder. "Here, these are the cases they're working. Got a call from Nyte this morning, she's taking the rest of the week off, and next week."

"Her wound didn't look that bad, is she okay?" asked Judy.

"She sounded fine. But she knows you're going to be busy and suggested Wilde and Hairus would make a good team." He looked at Nick, "He's late, as usual. You probably have time to skim the file before he gets here."

Judy groaned at the sight of paperwork piled on her desk.

"I deeply sympathize," Nick assured her, leaning his chair back and putting his feet on the desk as he began to flip through the folder he had been given. "You know I'd love to help, but–"

"You and Hairus deserve each other," Judy muttered as she logged into the system.

"And I think the fact Nyte suggested pairing me with him proves what I've always said, she hates me."

"She doesn't hate you," Judy assured him. "But she hates... She may be counting on you to irritate Hairus."

"I'll do my best."

The old bear lumbered in, a half hour late for the start of his shift. "Don't expect much out of me before I have my second cup of coffee," he warned Nick.

"Why don't we head for the coffee shop?" suggested Nick. "Got ideas on a couple of the cases you're working with Nyte. The robbery–"

The bear held up a paw to silence him. "Coffee first. Coffee shop is a good idea."

The pair left.

Around noon Lylah Nyte arrived. The panther headed straight for Judy. "I knew you'd be here. I'm taking you to lunch. Big news."

She appeared excited, and Judy was curious about her news, but, "I need to finish this paragraph. Give me seven minutes."

The rabbit and panther settled into a booth and looked at the menu, but Lylah couldn't contain herself any longer. "George proposed last night."

"Contratu–"

"When he heard I was hurt," Lylah giggled, "he said he knew he didn't want to live without me."

Judy had never heard Detective Nyte giggle before. It seemed unnatural. "That's wonderful!"

"Thanks. We plan for late next month."

"Next month?"

"Why wait? We know what we want. I've worked so hard for the department I feel like I've never taken me time. Anyway, it will be a small ceremony. Will you be there? Please?"

"I... Of course. This is such a surprise I don't know what to say. I started to say congratulations and–"

"I mean, I am a little older than George. Maybe that's why he was afraid to ask earlier. You don't think I'm too old for him, do you?"

Judy guessed the 'little older' was probably around ten years. If it didn't matter to George it didn't matter to her. "Of course not."

"Marriage... It even got me thinking family. I'd love a kitten."

"And George would make a wonderful father... Did you mention this to him?"

"Yes, but we don't start trying until after the wedding. I mean, seriously trying."

Judy wasn't entirely sure what to think of the panther's news. Part of her was extremely happy for the older detective, but something gnawed at her just a little.

In the afternoon Judy went to the site of the raid. A team of investigators was going through the building. "What's up?" she called, "how long will this take?"

An elk waved, "Detective Hopps! No idea. It may take more than a week just to collect the evidence here, and may take months before we get it all analyzed."

"You're leading the team here?"

The elk strolled over, "Yep, Ron Rack at your service. Sorry I haven't called you yet. There's just so much here. I will be reporting to you, but we're still trying to get a handle on the scope of the scene. How frequently would you like my reports? This is going to take a long time."

"Months you said?"

"You can do it fast, or you can do it right."

"Stick with right. This is my first lead, and I've never done a report this size. What's usual?"

"I don't think I've ever handled one this big either. How about daily reports, without much analysis, while we're combing through things here. Then weekly reports as we analyze the evidence?"

"Okay, but call me immediately if you discover something big."

"Define something big."

"I'll trust your judgment."

Late afternoon, and Judy hit 'send', and breathed a sigh of relief. In this early stage she needed to send a copy of each day's work to the prosecutor's office, Alces, the police commissioner, and the commission. At least it was the same report to all four, and the computer made carbon paper a historical footnote... Her grandfather had talked about something called carbon paper when Judy had taken keyboarding in middle school. She wasn't entirely sure what he had been talking about. An unhappy rabbit sat at her desk waiting for Nick to return and her shift to end. Lylah was getting married in a month, and she had no idea when she would marry Nick. It would probably take a couple weeks for her to get the full preliminary report in so that she could return to active investigations, and she felt like she might be updating the preliminary report on a weekly basis for years. Life seemed so bleak, at the moment, she could almost look back on meter duty as the good old days.

Nick picked up her gloom at the end of the day, "What's up, fluff butt? You look lower than Finnick's bank account or Duke's morals."

"George asked Lylah to marry him."

"Was he in pain?"

"Some males propose without the female needing to twist his arm."

"It's just such a weird picture. I'm trying to imagine a mellow Nyte." Nick closed his eyes.

"NOT WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING!"

"Sorry, just trying to picture it."

"You don't get it, do you? They're getting married next month!"

"Don't get what? You act like I'm missing something."

"They're getting married next month, and I introduced them!"

"We all make mistakes."

"No, that's... You and I have no wedding plans in place, and they met months after we did."

Nick looked puzzled, "Is this some kind of female competition thing? A race to get married?"

The rabbit took a deep breath. "Sorry, just frustrated at how fast they're getting married when we aren't."

"You could look at your friend Hye and Tom, they've been a couple longer than us."

"And she feels she may need to hit him with a stick to get a real proposal. I know this shouldn't bother me."

"Dropping Hye and Tom, maybe it's easier for two panthers to move ahead quickly than a fox and a rabbit. It took us awhile to recognize we loved each other."

"Speak for yourself. I knew right away you were wonderful."

"Really, Miss Back-Off-Fox-I'm-Reaching-for-My-Fox-Repellent? We were both suspicious of each other."

"You're right. But I recognized you were wonderful before you got over your suspicions of–"

"It wasn't a competition," he reminded her.

"Sorry, just tired and frustrated right now. You are right, we were both suspicious of each other when we met. And it doesn't matter when we get married."

"But you'd like it as soon as possible," Nick told himself. He gave her a big hug when they got out of the car.

"Thanks," she told him, "I needed that."

"And Alces doesn't want us getting married until after the rules on married partners changes, and Big wants us to get married in his mansion – which would not look good. And her mom and my mom are both pushing for the wedding to be where they live, and the place we want here in town is booked up for months."

The next morning Officer Rack's first report was waiting for Judy among her emails. She'd probably spend most of the morning reading it, analyzing what was important, and putting the information into the report she was writing. "Maybe I'll have good news to share with Nick tonight," she thought. The rabbit put her head down on her desk and groaned. She couldn't believe she could be so selfish. Last night she had done nothing but unload her frustration on poor Nick. He had been paired with Hairus. Judy had received some of her early detective training with the bear, and found him unbearable. She had never asked Nick how his day had been. She hadn't offered him sympathy, she just dumped her fears on him. "He was wonderful listening to me. I'll show him how much I love him tonight."

It hadn't been as frustrating for Nick to work with the bear as it had been for Judy. Nick's easy going style was not the same as the bear's lazy attitude, but laid back still worked better with lazy than the dynamic ball of energy that was Judy Hopps. And Judy could probably work better with Detective Hairus now than she had in her first week as a detective. Her experience would keep the bear from dumping extra work on her. And, while he was lazy, his experience might have been something she recognized better and could appreciate.

The bear and fox worked a convenience store robbery that morning.

"Surveillance tape?" Nick asked the capybara clerk.

"No tape of the robbery."

"No video?" asked Nick, looking up at the camera set up to record the cashier's counter.

"Well, it's on SLP but–"

"SLP?" asked Hairus.

"Super long play," explained Nick. "You get six hours of recording instead of two on standard play, but the quality is crap – which is why half the time the video is so grainy it's worthless."

"Yeah," agreed the clerk. "But even on SLP a tape runs out and I got to put in a new one. There were several animals buying things when the tape ran out. I can't leave the cash register when there are animals buying stuff. The sheep came in before I could put the new tape in and ordered me to empty the register."

"Witnesses?"

"No one else here."

"Pawprints? Did he touch anything?"

"Just the gun in his hand, and the money when I put it on the counter."

The bear pointed to a door, "Employee room?"

"Yes. He came in the front door, and went out the front door. I called the police as soon as–"

"Just his description," Nick requested, taking out his notebook and pen.

Hairus turned to Nick, "Why don't you look through the employee room for evidence?"

"But I told you, he went out–" protested the cappy.

"Humor me."

Nick found the money under the sink in the employee bathroom.

"How did you know, or why did you suspect?" demanded Nick on the ride back from the jail after they dropped off the clerk.

"Never trust a suspect," the bear yawned.

"But he wasn't a suspect, he was the victim," Nick pointed out.

"Everyone is a suspect. Any animal smart enough to figure out when the video tape runs out isn't going to waste his time robbing a Kwiky Mart. Caught a Kwiky Mart crook one time, well – he caught himself. He was still trying to push open a pull door when we got there. You type up the report while I take a nap."

Judy was gone as Nick typed the report. He wondered where she was and formulated plans.

"Something wrong with my report?" the elk frowned when he saw Judy back at the site of the raid.

"No. I liked it. I have one or two little suggestions about how I'd like the reports organized, if you don't mind. But mostly I needed to get away from the computer screen for a half hour or so. I needed a break. Don't let me interfere with your work."

Judy was back staring at the computer screen as she typed in the afternoon when a call came to her desk. She leaned back with a feeling of gratitude and rubbed her eyes. "Yes?"

"Judy?" Ben Clawhauser asked, "Got a delivery for you. Tulips."

"Tulips? How sweet. I told Nick I was frustrated last night. I'll be down to get them in just a minute."

"The delivery animal wants to bring them to you."

"Bring them to me? That's not–"

"She's really insistent... I think she wants to meet you... She's nodding her head yes when I say that."

Judy appreciated another break from the report. She met the skunk teen at the door to the bullpen. "Thank you. But deliveries are usually just left with–"

"Could I talk with you a minute, Miss Hopps? Please?"

"I suppose," Judy shrugged. "Let me put these on my desk. This way."

As they walked back the teen enthused, "You're the biggest celebrity I've ever delivered flowers to! Well, not the– You're the biggest celebrity I've ever met. I've taken flowers to the theater for Gazelle four times! But someone backstage always takes them from me to give to her. You've met Gazelle, haven't you? Is she as nice, really, as she seems?"

"Yes, yes, she is." Judy assumed the skunk wanted to talk about Gazelle and would leave quickly when Judy didn't have much to say about the entertainer. They arrived at Judy's desk and she set the tulips down. "Thanks..."

"Cheryl, Cheryl Flowers," the skunk told her. "That's my name. Dad thought with a name like Flowers he should be a florist."

"Thanks, Cheryl. Now I need to–"

"Gazelle gets a lot of males sending her notes saying they love her. Do you get a lot of notes like that? I mean, you saved the city. You're a hero."

"I didn't save the city. I just–"

"But do you get notes like that all the time?"

"Well, I get some. There were a lot right after the Night Howler crisis was over. I guess I still get a couple most weeks, usually emails."

"So, you won't pay any attention to the tulips, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"The note. I'm not supposed to, but I read it! Don't pay attention to it! You and Nick, you're really engaged, right? That must have been so embarrassing at the football game when they–"

Judy held up her hand for silence. "I don't know what you're talking about. Let me read the note with the tulips." The note read:
Forget that Nick. Elope
with me. Married next
week in Bitter Root. How
does that sound, Carrot
Breath? - Rick

"He's got to be some crazie," insisted the teen. "You wouldn't dump Nick, right? You two are such a cute couple!"

"You and Ben," the rabbit sighed. "I would never do anything to hurt Nick," Judy assured her. "And you notice this 'Rick' didn't even leave a phone number. I need to get back to work." She just wanted the skunk to leave so she could re-read the note and decide if Nick was serious.

"One more thing, please" begged the skunk.

"Yes?"

"The big raid the other night, the news said something about a weasel named Ernie?"

"Yes..."

"Is he the same Ernie who was in the news for dating your sister?"

"The news was wrong. He didn't date Susan. He's just a good friend. They were in high school together and–"

"So they're not dating?"

"No. Now–"

"He's a hero too!"

"Yes, he was very brave the other–"

"Could you give him my name and phone number, please? I could date out of my species. I mean, he dated your sister, so–"

"He didn't date Susan, they're just good friends."

"Would you give him my name and number, please?"

"Okay," Judy sighed and tore off a piece of paper from a pad. It seemed the fastest way to get rid of Cheryl. The skunk eagerly wrote her information down. Judy would have liked to just throw away the note, but she had promised to pass it on, so knew she would feel obliged to follow through. Ernie would probably simply be too shy to make a call. Or simply not interested. Weasels tended to be svelte, while the young skunk was zaftig... Although Ernie's crush on Susan suggested he appreciated curves.

"Thanks," Cheryl smiled and headed for the exit.

Her heart beating faster, Judy read, and re-read the note as she ate one of the tulips. After swallowing she pulled out her phone. She hesitated a second and looked across the bullpen. Readover, the office gossip, was apparently out on a case. She hit speed dial.

"Yes?"

"Got a delivery from the florist, is Rick around? I'd like to talk with him."

"Let me step outside the donut shop and see."

"You and Hairus drink too much coffee."

"Yes, yes we do."

A couple minutes later Nick was back on the phone with Judy. The rabbit told him, "A skunk delivered the tulips. She claimed whoever wrote the note was crazy. She could have been right."

"Then why call me?"

"You wouldn't kid around, not with something like this. But it's all so spontaneous! You're almost never spontaneous. You think things through. You overthink sometimes. I... You really wrote this?"

"Dictated, but I had the florist read it back."

"What were you thinking? I know you were... Where's Bitter Root? Wasn't that the town we stopped at for lunch when we drove to see your mom?"

"The same."

"Why there? Oh, sorry, I need to shut my mouth and you'll explain."

"Alces doesn't want us to get married until the rules on married partners changes. Big wants us to get married at the mansion, which would look bad. We can't rent the firehouse for months. If we get married in Fox Ridge your Mom will never forgive me. And much as I love your Mom and Dad–"

"Suck up."

"I'm doing my best. You said you didn't want to get married in Bunnyburrow. And, to top it off, you were depressed about Nyte getting married before you. There's a fairly early train from Zootopia to Bitter Root. We take it a week from Saturday, with a couple friends slash witnesses. We get married by the magistrate there. You and I take the three o'clock to Plainview. Our friends get the four-fifteen back to Zootopia. We rent a car in Plainview, drive to Fox Ridge, and spend a week with my wonderful uncle calling me nasty names for marrying a rabbit."

"That sounds wonderful, except for your uncle calling you names, but–"

"Uncle Charlie is what he is."

"But I've got a ton of work to do."

"Which can be done on a departmental laptop. You may not even need to take time off or call it vacation. I'll call the week family leave."

"Fox Ridge, while lovely, is not exactly where I planned my honeymoon."

"Where did you plan on us going? It gives me something to do while you're working. And at Bunnyburrow we're either staying with your huge family – which means no privacy, or out at the creepy Bungalows."

"Would it be too obvious if I invited Lylah?"

"We're keeping this very small, and avoiding the police, remember? Alces wants to pretend he doesn't hear about our marriage... I told Doc Wheeler."

"Why did you tell him?"

"He encouraged the idea! Hairis and I stopped at the lab, and I got talking with Doc. I said you were discouraged about the time it was taking... I didn't say anything about being jealous of–"

"I am not jealous of Lylah!"

"And I didn't mention the fact you were in denial about your jealousy either. Anyway, he was the one who suggested eloping, and we kind of bounced ideas around until I came up with this. So, what do you say? You could ask Suze and Hye, Tom too if you want."

"Maybe just Suze. Who will you ask as witness?"

"I'm thinking Finnick."

"Mirage too, if you want. I like her. How about Doc Wheeler, since he knows already?"

"Sounds like you accepted eloping."

Judy laughed, "Yes."