Christmas With Clara (Eleven's Winter Song)
A/N: Whouffle romance & drama. With lots of angst & fluff in between. Christmas Special episode canon-compliant (At least, the 1st half is, 2nd half is all my doing.) Alternating POVs. Rated T, just to be safe.
Disclaimer: If I owned them, they would have kissed by now. Properly. And there would have been lots more to come. Sadly, I do not. But here's hoping for the 50th?
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The TARDIS landed gently in a large grassy field in the middle of London on a clear December day. December 24, 2013 to be precise. And not a monster or alien menace to be seen for mile, thank heavens. All was quiet...
Only a familiar knock on the TARDIS doors from outside broke the pleasant silence of the afternoon. The knock from one, Clara Oswin Oswald, the Doctor's dearest friend and companion of maybe half a year, give or take...but then, due to wibbly-wobbly-ness, he now knew that he had in fact, known her his whole life and she, him.
And after surviving perhaps one of his greatest adventures to date, she had proved herself to be loyal, brave, and just as clever as he was when it mattered and stood by him in his most dire moments. He may not have trusted her at first...but she had earned his complete trust...(and that said it all, really.) All this occurred only days ago for him, months ago for her. After the ordeal, she had told him she needed some time off, to be with the Maitlands for a while and clear her head. He readily agreed. But she made him promise to come back around Christmas, so...here he was, true to his word.
Grinning wider than he had in a long time, he opened the doors to her, and she immediately grabs him by the hand to pull him outside. "Hello Clara!"
She beams up at him. "Hello Doctor! You're late, as usual! And...a bit off your navigational skills as well judging by where you landed...never mind, though...come on Chin, it's nearly Christmas! I did have a cracker hat 'round here somewhere...it'll turn up eventually...anyway, follow me!"
He allows her to drag him along for a beat, but then she stops suddenly and throws her arms around his neck, while he fumbles a bit, but his arms eventually wrap around her waist and they share a quick & playful hug. 'Unexpected, yes, but a hug is always nice', he thinks. Then he steps back to look at her properly. She's dressed festively, with a black sweater over a white blouse and...oh god...another short skirt...red plaid...and black stockings underneath. He doesn't want to be caught staring, so he goes into rant mode. "How are you? Doing well, I hope? How are the kiddies, eh? Growing up quickly, I imagine? Bit excited about tomorrow morning, I bet?" God, he's missed her...
"Oh Doctor, it's so good to see you again! I'm doing fine. And yeah, Angie & Artie are both really excited about Christmas...well, maybe Artie more than Angie. Hard to tell with her...begging her dad for a new iPad or something...Artie is a different story, though. All he wants for Christmas is another trip in your snog box...which...I keep telling him is *never* going to happen again...EVER, if I have anything to say about it."
He thinks there might be an insult to him in there somewhere, but he's too happy to see her to really notice or care that much. Well...maybe not... "Oi! It wasn't my fault that the Cybermen chose that amusement park as their new base of operations..."
"True, but at least everyone made it out alright in the end. Thanks to me, mostly...and no thanks to Mr. Clever. " She gives him a stern & meaningful look as he gulps slightly before she continues with: "Still, I think it gave Artie too many alien ideas. He's nuts about the spacey stuff now. He's got loads of questions to ask you, I'm sure, when you get there. So come on...thing...house...now..." She nods in the direction of her home significantly and he can tell she's about to grab his hand again and drag him along, but he tugs her hand back and stands straight, planting his feet firmly. "Clara...wait..."
Clara turns around and stops her momentum, peering at his face inquisitively for answers. "Why? What's up, Doctor? Is there something wrong?"
What can he say? She obviously has no clue. How will he ever explain this to her without bollixing it up completely? He looks at her face, curiosity brimming clearly on the surface of her perfect features. No...he can't say it. At least not yet. It's not the right time. She looks way too happy right now. And it's Christmas for her, the proper her, and she's very excited to show him something or other and he can't, in good conscience, break the spell she's under. No...it will just have to wait. So he settles on a good cover for his silence instead. Coward. Every time.
"Clara...I just want to say that it's good to see you too...and...Happy Christmas." he gives her one of his best warm smiles...effectively hiding everything behind it.
"Oh. Okay." She chuckles to herself, amused and touched at his unusual display of thoughtfulness. "You're being weird again, Doctor. Come on Chin...let's go. Though, I feel I should warn you ahead of time...some of Angie & Artie's relatives are staying over...but...um...they might ask you questions...so...be prepared to run." She winked at him playfully.
For now, he would go along with the pretext. "I'm always prepared to run, Clara Oswald. Surely you know that. Plus, I've always got my sonic in case of...well, in case of stuff." He takes it out with a flourish and starts scanning the area, as if to prove his point.
"'Course I do...(after a beat)...and don't call me Shirley." Yes, banter with Clara a bit. Bantering with her is always a good distraction...and always so easy and fun to do. So much, that he is able to forget and just go with the flow for once. He laughs at her joke and follows her. Because he knows now that he will follow her anywhere...and anywhen. And that's part of what will make this so much harder to do in the end, but for now he's content as a cucumber to procrastinate the inevitable...because quite honestly, he's really, really good at it.
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A few short hours later, at the Maitland's house, the Doctor is feeling somewhat slightly...claustrophobic...and longs for a bit of quiet back at the TARDIS, away from all the loud people & their uncomfortable questions and wonders where Clara has gotten to. He can't help it. He has to know. Meanwhile, Clara has found her own hiding place, the kitchen, where she has been quite busy with a surprise of sorts. The Doctor wanders in, and the sight that greets him is quite hilarious. She's trying her best to hold a large roasting pan with an equally heavy turkey inside it and not quite pulling it off. Instantly, he's over by her side, hands steadying the underside of the pan. "Here, Clara, let me help you with that bird."
"Oh no worries, Doctor, I got it."
"Well, sure...but just in case..."
"I've got it, Chin Boy."
"Oh, alright. But ya know, I'm here if you need any help."
"I know, Doctor, but right now, you're actually in my way."
She says this last part with a teasing lilt, so he knows she's joking, but in actuality, he is sorta...in the way. "Oh! Right. Ok. Sorry, Clara. I'll just follow behind you then, shall I?"
"If you must."
"I insist."
"Okay."
"Um...Clara...where are you going with that?"
Clara has veered out of the kitchen, out the front doors, with the Doctor hot on her heels.
"The TARDIS, of course."
"Wait...what?"
He's totally baffled.
"This turkey is for you, silly. I thought maybe we could have our own Christmas dinner in the TARDIS? Get away for a bit?"
"Um...er...uh...oh...o-kay...erm..." He knows he's stuttering but he has no clue how to respond to this request. She doesn't know about his *thing* with Christmases yet.
Meanwhile, she's just standing there, stock still, cradling the roasting pan with the turkey in it and waiting patiently for his reply...and for the life of her, doesn't understand what his problem is now. She thought it would be a *brilliant* idea...a good way to brighten up the cold steel interiors of the ship, but now, doesn't think so. "Doctor?"
Hmm...have to think up something quick..."Clara, I don't...really...do Christmas...inside the TARDIS...I...it's not...well...it's just not something I do. It's pointless really, see. I can visit other Christmases gone past instead...holidays don't really exist in the time vortex."
There. That sounded plausible, right?
Apparently not, because she's still walking across the field with a turkey in her hands, nonchalantly waving him off, like he's being ridiculous. And well, maybe he is, but that's not the point. He runs after her, hoping to stop her in her tracks before she gets there, he has to make her understand his thing about Christmas, and damn it, he'll even tell her the truth if he has to..."Clara! Wait! Stop, ok? That was one good reason, but not the whole thing...and I'll tell you why if you'll just stop."
She's intrigued and puzzled by this new and odd behavior he's displaying, but thinks he's being a bit of a nutter...but the way he's pleading with her now, his tone of voice, is enough to make her stop and listen to him. So she stops, but doesn't turn around yet. And the reason for this is because she's losing her grip on the pan and the turkey is about to slip right out. But just in time, the Doctor is suddenly there, right behind her, his strong arms covering hers, holding the pan steady...and breathing hard right in her ear...Clara can't help but close her eyes and shivers a bit at the close contact. It's a surprisingly intimate gesture, this. And he's staying eerily silent himself.
The Doctor is suddenly very aware of her body and his...as well as several emotions that it sparks. He knows he shouldn't...but it feels good to hold her like this, if only for a few moments...so he allows himself to indulge a bit. Wait...what the hell did I just say? Er, think, rather? What is he doing? He can't be *feeling* these things about her!? No! He was...just helping his companion! Yes...that's it. That's all.
He comes to, and jumps away like he's been given an electric shock, giving her back her space now that the crisis with the pan has been averted. Meanwhile, Clara's mind & breath is racing...but shrugs it off quickly and continues on her journey towards the TARDIS. She doesn't know what *that* was...but she doesn't really want to linger on it. She's used to him being rather "touchy-feely" around her, always giving her a peck on the forehead or a pat on the hand in times of crisis, so it's not *that* weird...but still...hello! Space! However, a small part of her enjoyed that. She knows she did. But she tells that part of her mind to go away, that she'll get to it later. Right now, she has to focus and well...somehow get this giant bird to the TARDIS kitchen, if he'll let her...
But even though he jumped away, he still has one hand on her shoulder...and attempts to keep it there, but she's walking waaaaaaay too quickly and it quickly slips off. She's surprisingly fast for a woman of such...short stature. And pretty soon, he has to jog to catch up to her. But he manages fine and talks while they're walking. "Clara! Stop!"
"Why are you being so weird about this? It's Christmas, Doctor! It's just a bit of fun. I thought it would be a nice treat. Christmas! In the TARDIS! We can make decorations! I'll even make a special Christmas souffle' for dessert! It'll be great!"
And as frustrated as he is, suddenly he's quite touched. 'She wants to do this for you, idiot! She's doing something nice for you and you want to stop her? Just because you think you're cursed at Christmas? Really? Even *you* know how silly that sounds...'
And just as suddenly, he's remembering every Christmas he's ever had...Rose & the Sycorax ship after regenerating, the Racnoss spider with Donna, the doomed Starship Titanic & Astrid Perth, the Victorian Cyberman attack, meeting Charles Dickens once, only to create his own version of A Christmas Carol later, (oh, the irony) then helping Mage & her kids through a forest of living trees, and lastly... the night of the Snowmen & The Great Intelligence...and meeting Clara for the first time, face to face and having a similar conversation with her barmaid/governess echo regarding silliness...
"Maybe it's snow that fell before. Maybe it remembers how to make snowmen."
"What? Snow that can remember? That's silly."
"And what's wrong with silly?"
"Nothing. I was talking to you, wasn't I?"
So many Christmases. So many sad memories attached to those Christmases. Especially that last one... 'Oh Clara...I wonder if she remembers? And why it causes so much pain?' The Doctor never had any luck with this particular holiday...and his paranoia for danger climbed considerably on this date, and for good reason. It was supposed to be a time of peace & togetherness for the humans, but what he usually found was war & mayhem. And that's when he promises himself: No. Not this time. Nothing bad is going to happen to her or him this time. Not this Christmas. Nope. Things will be fine. The universe has to let him have this one Christmas with this her, and no one & no *thing* will stop them.
"Alright, Clara. You're the boss. Let's have Christmas in the TARDIS! What the hell, I say? Break out the wassailing, the carols, the crackers, and the paper snowflakes! We'll even make a gingerbread house if you'd like...gingerbread houses are cool, especially the ones with the tiny sugar gumdrop things...oh...and jelly babies! We'll put them inside the house, like little people...and then..." He then proceeded to explain his grand scheme for what quickly escalated into a gingerbread mansion decked out in all kinds of sugary delights while Clara just laughed his outrageous suggestions off...happy that he'd finally come around and loving this side to him...wait...did she just say "loving"? Oh boy...here we go again Clara...remember your trick. Though, right now, she wondered why she should even fight it anymore after all they've been through...but...but there was a catch. They were still just good friends. I mean, friends who went way back...waaaaaaay far back, in their case, but...still...friends. She cares about him deeply and she's sure he feels something of the same for her...but that's as far as it goes. That it *can* go, she corrects.
And that's fine. She's happy with this arrangement. Tonight will be awesome and festive and we'll go off on adventures again as soon as it's over. Yup. It'll be just her & the Doctor & a little Christmas joy tonight. A nice meal, some egg nog and good company. Oh, and apparently a giant gingerbread house, too. She smiled at the idea. Yup, a little holiday cheer is just what the Doctor ordered.
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A/N: So obviously, this story is based off of a few photos & a 7-minute video captured by a fan (Thanks, Gareth Bundy!) for the Doctor Who Christmas Special this year, which of course, will be Matt's last little jaunt as the Eleventh Doctor and will go on to regenerate during this episode at some point. And in the photos, the pair look so comfortable with each other...it's a happy scene in which Clara greets him with a smile and he follows her across a park field, and then they hug...and chat for a bit. Later she's seen running across that same field with a turkey in a roasting pan and it looks like she's about to trip, but he holds her steady from behind...a rather cute & intimate move...before letting her go. It's all very touching, really...and it makes me sad to know that this kind of happiness they've obviously built for themselves will be ripped unfairly away from them so very soon. And though I know 11 has always been a very hands-on, touchy-feely Doctor, with no concept of personal space, he seems to be even more so around Clara...and while there was no kissing involved (or none that have been captured on film yet), he does seem to be even more...dare I say "possessive" with her now than before. I wonder what has changed? Maybe there was a kiss in the 50th? Or maybe I'm reading way too much into their body language? Anywho, I wanted to match the light-hearted-ness of my scenes with what they're actually filming and balance it out with the ominous tones of the episode...I hope I did OK. Let me know. But this ain't over yet.
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"Can I just say, for the record, Clara..." he sighs deeply, for dramatic effect, though his grin gives him away, "I was wrong. And you were right. This was a *brilliant* idea. The TARDIS looks AMAZING tonight..." He says this with a massive grand sweep of his arms, throwing them out wide, encompassing the room at large, which has been decked out to the nines with paper snowflake chains, shiny bits of tinsel, with Christmas light bulbs strewn everywhere...there is even a small tree tucked in one corner, positively *covered* in assorted strange ornaments, including the Doctor's personal collection of bow ties...as well as a familiar multi-colored scarf draped gently across the branches.
And Clara? Well, she's absolutely loving this...looking around the console room, admiring their handiwork, she feels a deep sense of pride and accomplishment, so her smug grin isn't out of place. But because he's being so nice to her, she doesn't want to make him think she's ungrateful, so she answers this with a casual, "It does, doesn't it?"
And that's when they both start cracking up...it's all bright smiles & laughter that rings out across the room as he presses a button on the TARDIS. Instantly, Christmas carols fill the air...the first one being, "Sleigh Ride". And before she knows it, the Doctor has grabbed her by the hand and spins her around once, twice, three times before pulling her back to stand in front of him again...and then, they're both dancing merrily to the fast song, not a care in the world.
Clara can't believe how happy he looks right now, with a jovial face, all grins & bright eyes, and how dapper he is in his purple tweed coat, but also notices how that silly blue cracker crown on his massive head is trying to slip off while they dance..."Doctor..." she laughs as they continue to twirl around, "...your hat, Doctor, it's clearly trying to run away..."
He looks up and notices it too and chuckles. "So it is...naughty thing...oh well...as long as you stay right here with me, I don't really care about the hat." Wait...did he just say that? Out loud? Erm...oh dear...he glances at her face nervously to see her reaction.
"'M not going anywhere, Chin Boy. But there is such a thing as being too keen." Another wink and a shy smile in his direction as she steps away from their dance, trying to hide a hint of a blush and failing.
But he's not done with her yet. He pulls her back, not quite sure why or what he's doing, (and not quite believing how bold he's being) but knows he just needs to be close to her again...and she lets him do it. She hugs his torso, placing her head on his chest as she listens to the double-thump-thump of his hearts...oh my, they are beating fast right now, aren't they? And he wraps his arms around her tightly, enjoying the hug; a contented sigh escapes his lips. If only they could do this forever...and perhaps, the time had come to tell her what he needed to before it was too late.
"Clara..."
"Mmm?"
"Thank you."
Clara notices his change in tone...it's a whisper, spoken with a sad, husky voice, and while keeping her arms around his waist, looks up at him, curiosity piquing yet again.
"For what? The decorations? It was noth-"
In the space of seconds, he's pulled one arm out of their hug and has placed two fingers on her lips, very much like he did when they had to journey through the interiors of the TARDIS, and cuts her off.
"It definitely wasn't nothing...the decorations are quite lovely, but that's not what I'm talking about."
"Oh...okay..then what-?"
"It's you, Clara. All of this, the Christmas in the TARDIS thing, letting me meet your extended family, just being here with me for Christmas...well, it's such a privilege. But it's more than that..."
Now it was Clara's turn to have her heart racing...'Where was he going with this?' she wondered...because if she didn't know any better, he's starting to sound a bit too much like Mr. Clever again...she could still recall the way his green eyes shone with...admiration? Fondness? Surely not...love? And she could feel his hot breath so near hers, as his face kept getting closer & closer with every word...
"How clever you are, and pretty...so pretty...and I'm beginning to like you in a way that is more than just..."
...kind of like he was now...'Oh no', she thinks, 'Is this the real Doctor? Or a fake?' Inwardly, she starts to panic. Curiosity is quickly becoming paranoia, and then onto doubt and making a right turn at fear. But she lets him continue anyway, just to be certain, but she's more than ready to run or slap him hard if he so much as *tries* anything funny...
"...I'm...I'm just so happy right now...and it's all because of you...and I can't even begin to explain how grateful I am for everything you do, have done for me...but you see, the truth is, I don't trust it because I'm afraid of what will happen if I do."
'Oh God', she thinks, 'This is worse. He's scared of being happy? With me? What is he even talking about?'
"Every Christmas I've ever had here on Earth, or elsewhere, has gone horribly, horribly wrong. I have so many enemies now, as you very well know, and I can't think of a single Christmas I've had that one or several of them didn't appear...and try to kill me or one of my companions...and that includes you now, Clara. And I...I can't..."
She's recovered a bit and sees how sad he has become, how he can't quite get the words out so she tries to soothe him instead. "Ssshhh...'s ok, Doctor."
"You can't what?" she prompts.
'I can't lose you?' 'I can't let them take you?' What? What is he trying to tell her?
He gulps, takes her hand and kisses it gently.
"I can't bear the thought of you dying for my sake again. I can't let it happen. So if anything does try to come and kill us during Christmas tomorrow, you have to promise me that you'll let me deal with it myself. You have to let me take the bullet next time."
Wait...what!? That *sooo* didn't end the way she was sort of hoping it would. Let him deal with it himself? As if she would just abandon him? Didn't he know her at all? Clara was fuming...her indignation and anger and hurt bubbling to the surface. "I'm...I'm sorry!? What!? I...I can't believe you, sometimes, Doctor! How...how can you possibly ask me to do something like that? *Especially* after all we've already been through? After what happened to us in London and meeting your other selves and...everything... and...and...you...you...you think that I could just leave you alone to fend for yourself!? Who do you think I am? I'm not that heartless, Doctor! I could *never* do that! So don't ask me to! NEVER ask me to say that...I won't-"
He had to get her to shut up. To understand. To realize his intentions and his reasoning behind it all...so he did the only thing he could think of to solve both problems at once.
He leaned in, placed two hands firmly on either side of her face, and kissed her with a fierce intensity he didn't know he was capable of. At first, she didn't respond at all; she still had her fists up, ready for a fight, but as he gently deepened the kiss, soft lips moving over hers slowly, she found herself too caught up in the moment to be angry with him anymore and slowly brought her hands around his neck and one even made its way into his floppy hair, mussing it a bit...before they broke apart, breathing hard...and just staring at each other, in equal amounts, both shock and wonder. But was that a hint of desire she spied in his eyes? Or was it possibly guilt she saw, flashed darkly across his otherwise youthful features?
Then, what seemed like entire centuries passed by before anyone made any kind of a move...or even a sound, really...except for a strange sort of whining noise coming from the TARDIS herself...that sounded like a wounded animal, hurt, angry, with just a hint of jealousy? But neither Clara nor the Doctor were paying attention to the TARDIS now...
The Doctor at least had the decency to look sheepish. That much Clara noted. But...what the hell do they do now? She blinked in rapid succession for a while...trying to control her breathing and getting it back to normal...he stood back a bit, wringing his hands, looking at her wearily and being so bloody awkward about this...even though *he* was the one to initiate the kiss in the first place...in truth, he was just hoping he wouldn't get slapped...even if he did deserve it. But Clara didn't slap him...she was busy in her own head, thinking: 'The Doctor just kissed me...*he* kissed *me*. And I let him. Of course I let him. Because...erm...well...because...because...' She couldn't finish that thought. The truth was a bit too overwhelming. But enough of that, she needed answers. Now. "Doctor...what-?"
"Uh...er...y-yes...C-Clara?" He had been looking intensely at his feet the last few minutes, but his eyes snapped up to meet hers when at last, his name was spoken...hoping against hope that he hadn't made the biggest mistake of all his eleven lives. He was just trying to get her to understand his fears and how important she was to him. At the very least, she didn't look angry...more...puzzled, than anything else. That much, was encouraging...but obviously, she wanted an explanation...but he wasn't sure he had one ready. That old Earth saying, "It seemed like a good idea at the time" sounded perfectly plausible now...
As he met her wide eyes, suddenly, she lost her nerve...Clara Oswin Oswald, Braveheart Clara, lost her nerve. So many questions...but her mouth wouldn't move. Luckily, in that moment, a welcome distraction presented itself to her. So, in order to save them both from what probably would have been the most awkward conversation of their lives, she did the only thing she could do in this situation: she jumped on it like a cat on a mouse.
"Do you smell something burning?"
Intensely relieved that she hadn't slapped him, he sputtered out, "Yes...erm...yeah, now that you mention it..." He sniffed the air and smelled a faint whiff of smoke coming from the general direction of the kitchen.
"Oh no...the gingerbread!" And without another word, she ran out of the console room, down the hallway, and out of sight, leaving a very bewildered Time Lord in her wake.
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A/N: Hehehe...I can't resist a bit of fluff...especially Whouffle fluff. This, of course, was the half that I made up in my head for them. But I feel I should warn you...that their happiness *is* limited, and that the Doctor's sense of danger around Christmas is entirely accurate, so enjoy the fluff while it lasts, folks. "There's more trouble at the mill" to come later, but the next chapter might still be fluffy-ish...but expect a bit of turbulence first, as they *will* be talking about what just transpired between them...and things may or may not end as well as some might hope...sorry.
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As far as Clara was concerned, the kiss and the inevitable talk could wait...when it came to baking, her attentions were entirely focused on the work and getting it right. Unfortunately, her track record with soufflés wasn't exactly perfect, and so you'd think she would have gotten used to seeing her creations burnt to a crisp. But the point was to keep trying anyway, right? So it was with a fair bit of disappointment and patience that she pulled their smoldering black gingerbread mansion out of the oven and with a heavy sigh, placed it carefully on a cooling rack, then plopped down onto a nearby chair with a "harrumph".
At which point, the Doctor finally decided to join her, by carefully poking his head into the kitchen to inspect the damage...whatever that entailed..."Clara...?"
"Over here."
"Ah...there you are. I...um...just wanted to see if...um..."
"...it was too beautiful to live", indicating the charred remains on the counter.
"Ah. A pity, that. We can make another one, if you want and this time we cou-"
"So...Chin Boy..."
"Hmm? Yes, Clara? What is it?"
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Oh...come on, Doctor. You know what."
"I..er..I..just...erm...well, you see...it's...it's that...I...there's a perfectly logical reason for it, I assure you."
"Okay...I'm waiting?"
"Uuuuuhhh..."
'So, genius...have you actually thought of a reason yet? Better get a move on...while she's still in a fairly good mood...' His thoughts berated him. What the hell *had* he been thinking? 'Oh, yes, that's right...you were thinking of how beautiful she looked in that outfit and how brave & kind she is and how scared you are of losing her...like all the rest.'
Could he actually say any of that? Possibly. To her? Maybe. Right now? Probably not. So he decided to para-phrase.
"Clara...it's complicated."
'Brilliant, you are. Oh yeah. Way to go, Mr. Cool. Mr. Calm & Collected. Do you ever *think* before you speak to women?'
To her endearing credit, Clara doesn't push it further.
"Okay..."
He smiles at her at last, relieved. But then, just when he thought it was safe, she added on with, "...I guess that makes it official then."
"...makes what official?" Was it just him or did his voice just go a few octaves higher?
Without missing a beat, she smirks widely. "This is *definitely* a snog box now."
Oooooh...that's it. She's done it. That impossible girl has done it. That mad, funny, brave, clever, impossible enigma with the tight skirts has done it. "Clara Oswald..." He chuckles a bit to himself.
"Yes, Chin Boy?"
"I..." He sighed deeply. Fight or flee? "I...I think...it's time to-"
"To...what?"
Flee...flee like there's no tomorrow. "To...open presents!"
"No."
'Wait...what? He did a double-take. "Pardon?"
"I said no, Doctor. This isn't finished yet. We're not done with this conversation until you tell me what you were *actually* going to say. No more lies, Doctor. No more secrets. Not this time. And not tonight. It's Christmas. And at Christmas, you tell the truth. So...spill! What were you going to say!? Why did you kiss me? I mean, not like I didn't enjoy it...but...you always have a reason. So...what is it?" And she crossed her arms, in that "I'm the boss and I know it" sort of way.
Busted. He might just have to bite the bullet on this one, he realizes quickly. The Doctor started pacing in a circle in front of her, and wringing his hands worriedly together, like he does when he's stressed out, as he attempted to explain.
"Clara...I did it because...well...partly because I wanted to and partly because I needed to." His voice lowered slightly for this next part. "Because it was the only way to make you understand...that I..."
'Deja' vu' all over again,' thought Clara to herself as she listened intently. 'Will Mr. Clever be making another appearance soon?' But...there is a huge difference between then and what's happening now...the difference being that this was the Doctor saying it. THE *actual* Doctor, and not some evil clone. Whatever he was getting at, it was made all the more real for her because she knew it was the real him speaking...this both terrified and excited her at the same time. 'Is he saying what I think he's saying?' She didn't dare hope, but there was a part of her, that same part from last time, that told her *this could be it.* This could be the moment of truth for both of them...to finally admit their feelings. Feelings that had been there since the beginning, ever since they had met, and had been growing stronger every day they spent together, waiting patiently for the right moment to come out...even while being squashed constantly by either themselves or by their enemies...buried beneath insecurities and mis-trust...but finally...*finally* here they were, face to face once more...will he admit anything? Clara was positively giddy with anticipation, hanging onto the Doctor's every word...
"...that I have to keep you safe because you are the only one who knows me. You know my real name, Clara. You know my darkest secrets. And if anyone were to try and take you away from me, they will use you to get to me...you know it's true because it's already happened. *You*, Clara Oswin Oswald, are my greatest weakness...but you are also my greatest strength, my greatest asset, my dearest friend..."
As he had spoken, he had eventually come down to her, kneeling before her and cupping her head between his hands gently, so that he could look at her eyes...her big, open, beautiful, brown eyes filled with unshed tears...and something else he couldn't specify...
"...and Clara...please understand this because it's very important that you do...I meant what I said earlier about letting me take the bullet next time. You still have a life here to live...and it would be selfish of me to keep you from living it...I am a very selfish man, Clara...every Wednesday and every day since I met you has meant the universe to me. You brought me out of the shadows again...you took me off my cloud and gave me a reason to fight again...and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy every second of it with you. But...in the end, if it's my life over yours...if that decision has to be made again, and it very well might happen again soon...you *have* to let me be the one to make it. So, please, Clara...promise me. Promise me that you'll get out of harm's way."
Or not...damn! That was so close! 'You've *got* to be kidding me!?' Where was the romance? Where was the declaration of love? Where did she ever get the idea that he cared for her *like that* anyway? Her own words came shooting back to her, forcing her stomach into violent knots...
"I know you would rather die than say those words..."
Crestfallen and trying hard not to show it in front of him, she realized there were only two ways out of this: to either acquiesce to his demands and let him think he'd won this argument and they could go back to doing Christmas-y things, like he wanted to...or she could run out of here right now without promising anything, back to her room where she could be alone and have a good cry, like she really needed to. She finally opted for something in between.
"I...I promise, Doctor. I promise."
"Good. Thank you, Clara."
He kissed her on her forehead briefly, before releasing her and getting up.
"...but um, I..uh...need to...um...go back to the house for a moment, Doctor...I forgot that I had left your present in my room...so, just give me a second...I'll be right back."
"Oh...alright. Okay...I'll just be...here. You know...in the TARDIS...um...got to find your present around here somewhere...I'm sure I left it...er...I'll just see you when you get back then, shall I?" With that, he edged-er-rather, tiptoed out of the kitchen, around a corner, and disappeared into the depths of the TARDIS, to no doubt, find said present.
Clara stood up on slightly wobbly legs, gripped the table to steady herself for a minute, and quickly walked out of the kitchen, into the console room, & through the TARDIS doors, and out onto the field again, all the while gaining speed...suddenly, she felt very lonely indeed...and craved the comforts of home...especially her warm, inviting bed. And when she got back into the house, she somehow managed to maneuver her way through the throngs of drunk relatives & merry-makers, ninja-ed her way up the stairs un-noticed, and fell into it heavily, crying as silently as possible, lest anyone hear her...and slept.
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A/N: So, show of hands: how many of you out there think that her promise is gonna come back to bite her in the butt? Okay...sooooo...yeah, most of you, I hope. If not, I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry... :o{ But don't worry...Clara can't stay mad at the Doctor for too long. She'll come round...after all...there *are* still presents to be had and opened...so, yeah, a bit more fluff & fun on the way...just for the Whouffle fans.