Silver Tears

This is cross-posted from my other account on forever fandom.

Any mistakes are mine. I'm not the best at grammar or spelling but I've tried my best.

Disclaimer: I own none of it, unfortunately. I make no money from this, but only write for my own and other's pleasure. J.K. owns it all!

Warnings: Slash, ambiguous mention of Mpreg. Major Character death.

Summary: "My hearts aches, and a drowsy numbness pains, my sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk..." "Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul." - Keats - Ode to a nightingale and Sonnet to sleep.

The raging sounds of death and destruction howl in my ears as I wander through the battlefield. The sun has fled to its infinite hiding place and a blanket of dead and lifeless cloud hangs over us, threatening to swallow away our souls. My gaze falls to the fallen; those that were taken by the cowardly might of the enemy. It's not a life, it's a pawn. A pawn of two men. This shouldn't be happening; the world should not have to suffer so like this. I pray to god sometimes, often for no reason at all, for all I beg, for all I cry, I have no hope, but my shattered pride, and empty bottomless mind.

I was once a boy, who was ostracized by his family, and those who were supposed to be protecting him. I was the one who stood in the playground, looking out on life and getting chased away from it. I ran away from it because I had nowhere to go but an empty room under the stairs of my relative's home. It was never my home. It was never ever my home.

I wander more and see those faces of people whom I used to know, people I used to talk to and laugh with. Their faces are of no use now, they are blank and frozen, the life of which was within them is now gone, just like a candle that was blown away by the wind. I see blue, green, red, purple and white lights flashing like a carnival around me. I can hear the screams of torture and the howl of maniacal laughter from the murderous eyes of men who pointed their wands and commanded a life to become painful. It breaks my heart, as I stand here, looking and observing the field.

I can feel it constricting, twisting painfully inside me, the glass shards of arteries and veins shatter and the crimson red of my blood flows out of my body, leaving an empty shell, a life once full of love of a family, torn apart by war, to be repaired and torn apart by the same magnanimous force.

I am a man now, a man without a soul, without a thought, without a love that had once been so powerful it overcame everything in life, but now it only lingers in the background of my mind. The sky is becoming darker still as the battle rages on and I feel the first drops of rain before the horrendous storm that is sure to follow. The wind picks up around my feet and blows vengefully in my face, stinging, marking and scarring me.

Wandering once more I discover more sights. I see Dean Thomas' face, frozen in a determined stance, bloodied by the endless curses that would have hit his body. His eyes are shining, but dead. I bend down, my own sense of loss overcoming me as I reach out and stroke his cheek tenderly as a last act of love and friendship, yet I don't cry. I won't allow myself to cry, it is too much a sacrifice to cry.

Taking up my stance again I begin to walk, still with the image of Dean ingrained on my memory, and it'll always be there, forever in my mind, and in my broken, lifeless heart. I hear quickened steps behind me and turn abruptly to face the darkened figure that looms over me like a tree drooping in winter. The hood of the figure blew back, and i stood there, unable to move, for if I did, or indeed could I wouldn't. It was my destiny, and I'm going to finish what was started centuries past.
I look at the face of my parent's killer and I can't help but stare at him. His face is haggard, weak, and looking for all intents and purposes, dead. He smirks sickeningly at me, his small twisted mouth tightens and so does the bony hand that holds his wand, the brother wand to my own. I look back at him, not even flinching at the sight of him. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of actually doing it. For moments we are standing there, just watching each other, ready for what the other may do. I honestly don't know why I bothered with my wand; we can't use them towards each other, what's the point?

BANG! I hear it from the distance but don't look around. My eyes fixed on his, my hair flying in the temperamental wind that blows around me. The thunder ripples through the air now, announcing its arrival with dynamism. My arms are hurting now, with the effort of containing what I feel deep inside, as my body begins shutting down. I know I can't last much longer, I have no energy to pour into this last fight and now I must muster that undeniable energy that was once gifted me by my protective parents. My Mum, my dad, and what could have been, a simple family life, and I can't imagine it now, it's not something that you do when you have not had your parents in your life.

Wands are raised now and the duel of a lifetime begins. One of us will die tonight, and I know for sure that that person will be me. I know it sounds pessimistic and you may think that only bad can come of it but not all bad comes from pessimism.

My emerald eyes looked directly into the flawed, ruined, and heated red gaze. I can't help but smile at him, for all his evilness, his eyes are as startling as mine. I wonder to myself how he managed that but the thought I banished as quickly as it came.

The fighting continues, my torn heart still fights on and I become physically tired my soul is becoming tired and I begin to fail. He is becoming weak himself, I can see it in his eyes, he knows he is, and I know he can see the weakness in my eyes. As we continue I see something shatter in his eyes. I can't name what it was but something has become known to him and now he stops, and looks at me. We both stand there, the air around us is thick with the blood of others before us and the battle comes to a halt as they watch us stare into each other's eyes. I smile at him and he looks back stonily but I see the recognition of the emotion that I graced him with. He knows now the power that I have and he knows that either way, they both will perish from mere exhaustion.

I lower my wand and he looks at him questioningly. I carefully bring my hand up to his, and with the one last ounce of life I have, I ask in a hoarse tone, "Come with me Tom. Let them all go. We can enter the gates of death together, and rid ourselves of the sin that has overtaken us. Let us rest now that they have let us go, be with your mother, forgive your father." I end my small speech and he stares at my hand for a moment, unsure and still fighting the emotions of hate and evil within him. I hold my hand steady and he takes it. I grasp it and we both are bathed in a white light, letting us slip into its depths as we leave our wrecked bodies and torn hearts behind. We are free now from the wrongs that have befallen us, and we forgive our trespasses. He smiles, and I feel whole inside because I know I have finally given Tom what he so craved for, and I suppose in a way, I forgave myself for it. I felt guilt and sadness and now I sit here with my parents around me talking about life on Earth. I describe it all from when I first remember to the day I set my soul free, and bought Tom to heaven.
I never did anything spectacular in my life but I did give a person, who without the proper words would continue on as a lost soul, a soul that had no forgiveness for its sins.

I still watch Earth from time to time and see how people are getting along. I see them going on with their lives; their laughter; their tears, both of joy and of pain. I see my friends marry, have their children and I can see all that I did to help them have such a life.

In my musing I almost forgot the one special gift I did leave on Earth, and now I laugh because they look so happy. My gift bought happiness and I'm glad.

My lover looks peaceful and my son looks awed at the world, and he looks up every so often and I can just imagine him seeing me on this cloud looking at him, watching over him. I smile peacefully and gather my clothes together around me and glide off into the cloudless white of heaven, my work done, my soul repaired and my family with me at last. I couldn't ask for more. Could I?

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