Title: Reverse Oedipal Complexes (Sirius is a Drama Queen)
Author: Me!
Genre: Humor/General
Rating: PG, I suppose
Pairing(s): pre-Lily/James
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything in his universe
Warnings: None. Unless you're my English teacher, in which case, I am happily using our vocabulary words for my own fiendish purposes, so please do not read.
Summary: The Marauders & Co. are back for their final year at Hogwarts. Lily is surprised, Remus is assaulted, James is annoyed, and Sirius is...Sirius
Notes: What else am I supposed to do when the vocab list includes divination and augury? The words come from a unit on Oedipus, hence the title.

"Lilers!!!" Lily Evans barely had heard the shout before a huge, dark blur rushed at her and scooped her up as she stepped onto Platform 9 3/4. "How was your summer?" Sirius Black spun her around exuberantly.

Lily giggled as he set her down. "Hey Si." She hugged her ridiculously good-looking friend tightly. "It was all right. Petunia got engaged." She made a face.

"To that walrus bloke...Vermin Whatshisface?" Sirius scrunched up his nose comically.

She snorted. "Vernon Dursley, that's the one," she affirmed. "How was your holiday?"

He grinned. "Great! I got my own flat! It's completely brill, just wait 'til you see it..." he sighed happily.

"Really?" Lily raised an eyebrow. "You didn't mention it at all. Not in, oh, just about every single one of your owls," she said sarcastically.

Sirius sniffed aristocratically. "You're just rankled because I'm independent and mature, and you still live with your parents and your horsey sister," he said loftily.

"Excuse me? I think I need a hearing spell. I could have sworn that I just heard you and mature in the same sentence," Lily snarked in response.

"Hardy-har-har." Sirius pulled a face.

"Where's your boyfriend anyway?" Lily asked casually as the two seventh years began to push their heavy trunks towards the Hogwarts Express. She had hoped, as about two-thirds of Sirius's brain was entirely devoted to James Potter, that the question would slip by unnoticed, the response to it automatic.

No such luck.

Sirius froze in mock astonishment and clutched at his heart, as though expecting it to explode in astonishment any second. "Could it be?" he began dramatically, attracting the attention of several younger students and their parents, "Did Lily Evans just inquire about the whereabouts of James Potter? Has the world come to an end? Has hell frozen over? What happened to the giant squid? Has she finally come to see the error of her ways and decided to jump his bones in the-"

"Alright!!" Lily's cheeks were stained pink. "Sorry I asked."

"Don't be." Sirius grinned roguishly. "He's waiting for you by the prefects' compartments. Wanted to be punctual and everything-the summer was hard on him." Sirius leaned toward her, conspiratorially. "Poor bloke was completely desolate without you. Had nothing to fill up his days without stalker duties and you to ask out every moment. Nearly withered away and died." He loaded his trunk and then helped Lily with hers.

Lily rolled her eyes as they boarded the train. "Don't be such a drama queen, Si. I'll bet he spent about every waking minute over at your place. And if he really got that bored, I'm sure he would have just played Quid- what?" Sirius's words finally caught up to her. "What is he doing at the prefects' compartments?"

Sirius shrugged. "Sorry Lilers. Surprise." He hurriedly changed the subject. "Say, did you hear about that ministry edict in response to-"

"Padfoot?" Remus Lupin stuck his head out of one of the compartments that had been reserved for the Hogwarts students himself who were both responsible and unlucky enough to be in positions of authority. "I thought I heard your lovely voice echoing around here. Hello Lily."

The redhead winced as Sirius gave an enthusiastic yell, ("MOONY!!"), and tackled the sandy-haired boy. The werewolf yelped.

"Pads-Sirius! Gerroff me you mutt-"

"Hey! Watch who your calling a mutt, you..., you prefect!" Sirius pretended to be highly affronted.

"Prefect?" Lily looked slightly disappointed. Sirius grinned slightly. "So you're not- do you know who's head boy?" Sirius's grin expanded so that he bore an uncanny and slightly disturbing resemblance to the Cheshire Cat. He exchanged a smirk with Remus.

"I really couldn't say," the prefect murmured in a polite, almost demure tone.

Lily looked from one boy to the other suspiciously. "What do you two know?" she started, but was interrupted by a new voice from behind her.

"Lily?" James Potter questioned.

She spun around and almost took a step back when she saw the head-boy badge pinned neatly to his robes. Frowning, she looked from him to Sirius, who was looking very amused at the scene.

"Is this a prank?" she asked. Sirius snorted at that.

"I'm hurt that you would think that," James pouted. "But no. I'm really head boy."

"It's really unfair too," Sirius put in, "I wouldn't mind usurping the position. Think about all the perquisites..." he sighed dreamily, "...prefects bathroom, docking points, permission to be out after hours...you even get your own rooms!"

Lily looked horrified at the thought of Sirius as head boy. "The school would be completely destroyed in less than a week." Sirius pouted handsomely at that, sulking in a way that melted even Lily's heart.

"And I mean that only in the nicest of ways," she amended.

Sirius unrightfully followed the other three into one of their reserved compartments, where he received quite a few strange looks from the other prefects.

"Did you lot finish Binns's essay on the attempted regicide of that goblin king, Rebuc the Ruthless?" he chattered, "I got a bit side-tracked with the Great Pestilence of 1348, but I got the main and secondary points in. I checked the one you owled to me for review Lily, and it's good." He pulled a scroll out of his pocket. "I liked how you outlined the cause of Uric the Oddball's madness. Funny things, those auguries. The only things were that Dragon Pox is a contagion, not water born, and the second and third sentences of the conclusion don't run smoothly."

The others blinked in the usual stunned silence that followed any reminder that Sirius wasn't half as empty-headed as he sometimes acted like, and was, in fact, brilliant.

"Er...thanks," Lily took her essay back from him and scanned it, marking the things he had pointed out.

Prefects began to file in, and Lily and James stood up to address them.

"Ah...um...well, I guess you all know I'm James Potter..." the boy started awkwardly. Sirius snorted.

"And I'm Lily Evans. I was a prefect the last couple years and now I'm Head Girl, along with...James here." She still looked a little doubtful, but she subconsciously scooted closer to her bespectacled admirer. Remus and Sirius traded knowing smirks.

"For you new prefects, us being Heads means that we'll sort of...supervise you all and help you deal with...ah...troublemakers and the like." James looked faintly amused as he said this and Sirius burst out laughing.

"Coming from you mate, that's more than a bit hypocritical." Sirius grinned, stretching out like a cat with his feet over Remus's legs and his head in Ravenclaw prefect Lexi Houghton's lap.

Lily scowled at the boy. "Why are you in here Black?" she asked rather rudely. "You're not a prefect or a Head."

He raised his eyebrows amusedly. "Thankfully not," he replied. "And anyway, James is," he said, as if it was the same thing (and it pretty much was).

He regarded her for a moment. "Are you exiling me then?"

The redhead rolled her eyes. "You're quite brazen, you know. No respect for authority. I could put you in detention."

Sirius smiled mildly. "Could you?" His voice was condescending and faintly amused. "How interesting. That would be a new experience. And if you had seen the type of authority I grew up with, you wouldn't have any respect for it either." He paused. "And I'm older then you besides. I have seniority and all."

He stuck his tongue out sulkily, blatantly contradicting his last comment, and Lily gave in. "Fine, you can stay. You're way too cute for your own good, you know," she grumbled, making James scowl threateningly at his best friend.

After telling them about the rest of their duties and informing them of the changes in staff (new teachers in Divination and Defense Against the Dark Arts), Lily and James released the other students to patrol the train.

"Try to control the din," James smirked at the last prefect to leave. Lily smacked his arm.

"Be a good example," she reprimanded him.

"And where's the fun in that?" Sirius interjected. "One last year, and the tumult of the Marauders will be lost forever. Enjoy it while you can."

"One last year," Lily repeated, and sighed sadly, thinking of how fast the last six had gone.

James touched her shoulder gently and she felt something unexplainable flutter in her heart. "Don't worry," he smiled. "We'll make this one the best of all."

And so they did.

A/N: I hope you enyoyed this! It was really just a random idea, but it ended up being rather fun to write...please remember to review! I'd really appriciate it.