Song from Muppets Most Wanted
Chris was suddenly thrown out of the police car and landed face first in a pile of dirt. He lifted his head up and spit some out of his mouth. He stood up and saw several prisoners in orange jumpsuits glaring down at him. Standing in front of them was a female guard.
"Where am I?"
"The big house," the guard answered.
"A big house?"
"The big house," a prisoner repeated.
"El casa grande," a prisoner said in Spanish.
"The big house!," they all said.
"Hit it boys," the guard ordered.
The prisoners started humming.
Guard: This is Muskoka's premier state funded hotel
We're very proud of our eclectic clientele
Excellence in service since 1962
Don't believe what you read in the online reviews
The guard led Chris inside.
It's the big house!
The perfect getaway
Welcome into the big house!
She tugged on Chris's arm.
You'll never get away
It's no hilton and no hyatt
But you will have a riot
So please enjoy your stay
She led Chris into the dining room.
Here's the dining room, the menu is minimal
What the cook does to the food is criminal
Pull up a seat, Chris
Grab yourself a stool
May I recommend you try our famous gruel?
In the big house!
You'll never be alone
Life ain't bad in the big house!
No, Chrisy, no
No check out after ten or eleven years
Make yourself at home
The guard led Chris outside to 'The Box.'
"Accommodation here is far inferior than anything else you will find in Muskoka. Let me know if there's anything you need. Everything is free. Money back guaranteed."
She opened the eye door for 'The Box,' and a male voice could be heard singing.
Box Guy: In the big house you will not survive
When you arrive in the big house, run for your life!
The guard led Chris back inside.
Guard: It's the big house!
The perfect getaway
Welcome into the big house!
You'll never get away
The guard held out a key. Chris tried to grab it, but she pulled it away.
For your security, I'll keep the only key
Now please enjoy your stay!
She shoved Chris into his cell and locked the door.
"Hey!"
"Get comfy, McLean. You're gonna be here a while."
She walked off.