The disclaimer saying that I don't own any X-Men Evolution characters has gone on a rant somewhere. I originally intended the fic 'A Bad Week At Bayville High' to be the last fic before I went on to my Misfits fic. And then after I finished the Misfit fic I'd get back to the other Evolution universe fics. But then I kept getting ideas and you know how it goes.
So this fic takes place after the fic 'Moving On Ain't Easy'. And it ain't easy stopping this train of thought.
To Professor X Without Love
"What do you mean that account is nearly dried up?" Xavier spoke on the phone to one of his bankers. "Well exactly how much money is left in that account? Six dollars and thirty eight cents? No, technically there is still money in it…"
"I still have my other accounts right?" Xavier asked. "I see. No I still have a small fortune left."
CRASH!
"And it's getting smaller," Xavier winced as something else broke in the mansion. He really didn't want to know what.
"All right transfer the money into my offshore holdings fund and rediversify my gold and precious metals portfolio," Xavier said. "I'd better call my stockbroker. Maybe I can sell of my shares of Starbucks? Why are you laughing? No, I haven't seen the financial news these past few days. I've been a tad busy."
FOOOM!
Xavier looked outside his window where he could see the outline of a giant volcano glowing in the distance. "Oh you know…Issues with the students. Problems at school. The usual."
Xavier blinked. "Why are you sending me a coupon for Dunkin Donuts? What is so…Fine. Be that way!"
He hung up the phone. As soon as he did it rang again. "Xavier Institute…Oh hello. Yes I've been expecting your call. So how much is the School Board suing us for this time? Oh it's a joint class action suit. The School Board, Bayville Chamber of Commerce…The National Scientific Study of Volcanoes? Why do they want to sue us? Wrecking their theories of volcanic development? Losing a bet with the Earthquake Studies Research team? Fine I'll call my stockbroker and we'll try to settle this one out of court. Again."
Xavier then made another phone call. "Hello there. I'm Charles Xavier. I'm trying to get in touch with my stockbroker," Xavier spoke. "Mr. Hole. Yes. Oh he's occupied? He's on the 30th floor. Oh you mean he's actually on the ledge of the 30th floor. Now he's on the 29th floor. The 28th…Now the twenty fifth…The twentieth…The fifteenth…I think I see where this is going. I'll call back later." He hung up the phone.
He began to rub his head with his hands. "I wonder if I could convince some of the students to go hire out themselves for work? Nothing major. It's not unethical to teach students the value of a dollar and the worth of an honest day's work right? There's lots of things they could do…They'd make a killing in the home demolition business."
"PROFESSOR!" Rogue's voice was heard from the hallway. "WE NEED TO TALK!"
"Uh oh…" Xavier gulped.
"What is all this I hear about you bribing the school board to let us back into school?" Rogue stormed in. "Well that was money well spent!"
"Rogue I can explain…" Xavier began.
"Explain what? How you abused your wealth which is pretty much the same thing as abusing your powers?" Rogue began as she leaned forward, her hands on his desk, looking very menacing. "Something you have taught us never to do but you did it anyway? How you kept telling us that we should always follow the rules but then you go behind our backs and broke them anyway?"
"Uh…" Xavier wondered if he should chance using his powers on Rogue but then realized it was too dangerous.
"You do know that bribing someone is a crime right?" Rogue said. "Do you know how much trouble we could all be in especially if any of those nut jobs goes to the cops and admits they were on the take? We all know someone could always chance going to jail just to get back at us! And they could always turn around and tell the cops you used your mind powers to make them take a bribe and then it would be their words against ours and who do you think the cops would believe?"
"I admit I didn't exactly think that far ahead," Xavier sighed. "Of course I also didn't think someone would send a Sentinel after us."
"No you didn't think did you?" Jean fumed as she walked in. "You know I've been keeping quiet about this for a few days but the more I think about it, the more I realize how right Rogue is and how wrong you were!"
"Exactly! A rich person abusing their wealth to get around the system is no different than abusing your powers," Rogue said. "That's what you taught us!"
"I did?" Xavier blinked. "To be honest I didn't think you were listening."
"Well I was and you'd better listen to me," Rogue growled. "I can handle loudmouth jerks and protestors and even giant robots attacking me…Okay. That I can put up with, but what you did was so wrong I can't even….AAGGH! I don't care how easy it was for you at the time or what your reasons were! You shouldn't have bribed the school board to let us back into school!"
"Rogue I think I can guarantee you that I will not be bribing anyone for at long time," Xavier groaned.
"If I wanted to be on a team full of liars and cheaters, I'd have stayed with the Brotherhood!" Rogue snapped.
"She's right you know?" Jean folded her arms. "You should listen to her. Rogue is always right about these things."
"Jean you know how I wanted you and Rogue to make more of an effort to get along for a while now?" Xavier sighed. "I've changed my mind."
"We know you wanted us to get an education and boy did we get it!" Jean went on.
"We learned about hypocrisy, how much people will put up with when they're getting paid…" Rogue went on.
"What did you want me to do? Just let them kick you all out of school and not get any education at all?" Xavier said. "Short of using telepathy to change their minds it was the only thing I could do!"
"You could have set up a separate school here to protect us and teach us while promoting civic projects to have people change their minds about us," Jean said.
"Oh now you tell me this," Xavier groaned.
"Look we get why you did it but…"Rogue let out a breath. "It feels like everything we've been through at school was for nothing. You cheapened it. We sacrificed for you and put up with crap and…It just hurts learning the truth."
"Of course now we know that the Sentinel was overkill," Jean said. "If they really wanted us out all they had to do was tear up the check."
"Or was it a cash deal where you slid the money under the bathroom stall?" Rogue asked. "Not only did you bribe our way back into school you lied to us and made us believe that somebody wanted us there when the truth was no one wanted us there at all! That's what really hurts!"
"Not to mention destroyed any sense of moral superiority you had over the Brotherhood?" Xavier guessed.
"Especially for destroying our sense of moral superiority over the Brotherhood!" Jean snapped. "Quicksilver is going to be gloating about this for years!"
"Don't forget Avalanche," Rogue said. "He and Scott are going to go at it big time."
"I can just hear Toad and Blob now," Jean groaned. Then she noticed Xavier calmly wheeling out of his office. "Professor where are you going?"
"I am going away," Xavier said in a strained voice. "Far, far away…"
An hour later Logan looked in Xavier's room. "Charles? Where are you?"
"I'm in here Logan," Xavier could be heard in his personal bathroom.
"Charles? Are you okay?" Logan asked.
"Oh I'm fine Logan," Xavier said in an oddly cheerful tone. "I've just decided to spend a few days in the bathroom."
"Uh…Okay…" Logan blinked. "Do you…Need a magazine or anything?"
"No, I'm having a lovely time staring at the blue and white checkerboard pattern on the walls," Xavier said in his chipper voice. "Very soothing."
"Oh great!" Logan rolled his eyes.
"Did you find him?" Hank walked in.
"Beast we've got a problem," Logan sighed. "Remember the time Kitty insisted on making that seven layer cake right after she gave the Professor a ride to the mall?"
"He's locked himself in the bathroom again, hasn't he?" Hank sighed.
"Yeah," Logan winced. "We'd better snap him out of it. Go tell Ororo, discreetly. The last thing we need is for the kids to find out our leader is having a nervous breakdown!"
"I'm not having a nervous breakdown," Xavier spoke. "Just a regular every day breakdown. There is a difference."
"Not much of one," Logan grumbled as Hank left. "Okay Charles. I'm coming in." He braced himself for the worst. Xavier was sitting in his wheelchair staring at the bathtub.
"Hello, Logan. Did you know that my bathtub has over a hundred tiles?" Xavier asked. "And they're alllllll in a straight line…"
"Well at least you're not doing what I thought you would be doing," Logan sighed. "Okay Charles, what the hell is wrong?"
"Besides the fact that I've ruined my students lives, destroyed a town, completely annihilated any possibility of peace between humans and mutants and basically have to leave my home in shame? Not much," Xavier told him. "Oh wait, I'm also losing money faster than a mortgage rate company."
"That's all?"
"Oh no. One more thing. I'm a bitter disappointment," Xavier said. "There's something new. I always thought I wouldn't hear that sentence again outside of my family. And my ex wife. Oh god I ruined my son's life. I'd almost forgotten about that one…"
"So Jean and Rogue tore you a new one and you sat there and took it?" Logan raised an eyebrow.
"Considering the circumstances I believe I deserved it," Xavier sighed.
"Yeah you did. You screwed up," Logan shrugged. "Get over it."
"That's your advice?" Xavier snapped. "Get over it?"
"Yeah, what do you expect? Dear Abby?" Logan asked. "Look Chuck, I've had my share of bad days too ya know? I've been experimented on, tortured, I've killed people and people have tried to kill me for I don't know how long. I can't even remember half of my life and you're ready to throw in the towel over one little mishap."
"A mishap involving my students, a Sentinel and lava," Xavier said. "I did mention the lava to you didn't I?"
"My point is that no matter how bad today was it could have been ten times worse," Logan snapped. "There could have been a lot of casualties including our students but there weren't thanks to their training. Training you provided. These kids could have nowhere to go, but thanks to you they have a shot at a second chance and a better learning environment. The kids are safe and mostly sound. I'm amazed more of them haven't had a nervous breakdown before this with all the crap they had to put up with the past year!"
"You're forgetting the fact that I did break the law," Xavier said.
"So they're mad and they found out you're human?" Logan snorted. "They'll get over it. When they spend a little more time in the real world they'll understand. Come on a little bribery isn't exactly the worst thing you've done!"
"No…" Xavier looked at him. "It hasn't. What have you heard?"
"Just learn from your mistakes and move on," Logan said. "How hard can that be."
"Fine. Mistake Number Fifteen," Xavier groaned. "Having you counsel the students about their problems! Obviously it's not your forte."
"Listen up Charles," Logan growled. "You made some mistakes. Your kids are mad at you for breaking the law and their trust. An entire town has been evacuated and we have to move somewhere else. Mutant/human relations stink more than a limburger cheese factory and you'll probably have to pay a bundle in legal fees for years to get out of this mess."
"How exactly is this supposed to cheer me up?" Xavier gave him a look.
"What I am trying to tell you is that you've taken the worst Bayville had and your kids are still alive," Logan said. "They gave as well as they got. So you've hit rock bottom? Short of being thrown in jail or getting a fatal disease you've got nowhere to go but up. Unfortunately these kids can't do it alone. And you're gonna be the one to help guide them."
"That's one way of looking at it."
"Here's another, the next time you do fall from the straight and narrow path these kids will be around to make sure you don't," Logan said. "They're mad now but they'll forgive you. They always do. Let's face it, half of them could have left long before now but they didn't, so there must be something worthwhile about the X-Men to keep around! Although right now I'm not exactly sure what."
"Logan if I leave the bathroom will you stop trying to cheer me up?" Xavier groaned.
"Done," Logan shrugged. They left the bathroom. "Look not all of this crap was your fault, Charles. The psychos who sent that Sentinel after us and those jerks at Bayville deserve some of the blame too!"
"You have a point," Xavier sighed. "And now that I know there are probably more Sentinels out there it's more important than ever that the X-Men function as a team and work harder to bring about peace between humans and mutants."
"Right," Logan said. "Like I said the worst has happened. What else can go wrong?"
"Logan! We have a problem!" Hank ushered in Jamie who was holding a hamster with dark colored fur. "Oh good, Charles you're out of the bathroom."
"What's going on and what is that?" Logan pointed.
"This is Logan," Jamie held up the hamster. "My favorite hamster! I named him after you!"
"Just what I wanted, a rat to carry on my namesake," Logan said sarcastically. "What is that doing here?"
"Apparently a while back young Multiple acquired a few furry friends from Toad," Hank said. "And has been keeping them in his room without anyone's knowledge for quite a while."
"I've already had them for like two months," Jamie said.
"You've been hiding hamsters for about two months?" Logan shouted.
"They were in my room," Jamie said. "The cages were right out in the open if you bothered to walk in and talk to me sometime. I can't help it. I crave attention."
"Just how many hamsters are we talking about?" Logan asked.
"Well there's Marsha, Jan and Cindy," Jamie counted off. "You met Logan. Snuffles, Porky, Squeaky, Squeaky Junior, Squeaky the Third, Squeaky the Fifth, Bingo, Bango, Bongo, Hamtaro, Cheesetaro, Mayo, Fluffy, Harold, Mister and Mrs. Sprinkles, Cinnamon…"
"Just give us a rough estimate," Logan interrupted him.
A loud scream was heard. "JAMIE!" Kitty screeched. "THERE ARE LIKE FIFTY HAMSTERS IN YOUR ROOM! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LITTLE RATS!"
They all looked at Jamie. "There's not fifty of them," Jamie said. "I think. Unless another one or two got pregnant again."
"I know I am going to regret asking this question but what happened to Squeaky the Fourth?" Hank winced.
"Uh he kind of drowned at sea," Jamie said. "Well not exactly drowned but accidentally got flushed down the toilet which was not my fault! I swear!"
"PROFESSOR! THE WATER IS OVERFLOWING IN THE MEN'S SHOWERS!" Scott yelled. "And there's giant fur balls everywhere! Wait…Is that fur ball moving? AAAAH! IT BIT ME!"
"Cool! Squeaky 4 is still alive!" Jamie beamed.
"I'm going back into the bathroom…" Xavier groaned.
"I believe I'll join you," Hank sighed.
"Me too…" Logan said.
"Adults are so weird," Jamie shook his head.