Notes:

Italics = old memories or character thoughts

I don't own Naruto or any characters associated with it. All credit goes to the respective author

I've been meaning to write a story like this for some time now and the topic really hits home for me on some levels. Hopefully I can capture everything correctly. If not I apologize in advance!

Anyway, since it's a brand new year here's a brand new story :) I hope you all enjoy!

Build Me Up, Break Me Down

"Hey, Teuchi, can I get another refill of ramen? Pleaaaaaaase?"

At the sound of his pleading voice Sakura looked up from her bowl of food and focused her emerald eyes on the smiling, whiskered face of her blonde team mate sitting just a few feet beside her. His lean arms were clasped behind his head nonchalantly as he leaned back in his chair looking almost sheepishly at the brown haired chef standing just a few meters away from them. The pinkette brought her thin brows together in a combination of disgust and confusion as she glanced down at the small bowl lying empty beside six other ones. She had heard that Naruto loved Ramen more than he loved life, but did he really like it this much?

"Neh, Naruto," Shikamaru's usually cool and collected voice stretched across the table prompting the hungry blonde to look at him with one open ocean blue eye. "That was like your millionth bowl. You're starting to make me think you'll eat more than Choji at this point."

At the mention of his name the brown haired Akimichi in question raised one large hand in the air while the other guided another chopstick full of ramen noodles to his lips. "You bettew watch what you'we saying Shikamoo," His words were slightly muffled by the mouthful of food he was munching on. "Don't make mwe beat yow to a pulp. We've already had enough fighting to last us a lifetime."

"Hah! Shikamoo? I like it!" Ino's amused voice suddenly joined the others and almost instantly the room was filled with a myriad of light hearted laughs as they all took in Choji's slight, unintended hiccup. The spiky haired strategist, who was usually so calm and unaffected by silly jokes, had a light almost unnoticeable blush dusting his cheeks. That alone was enough to throw Sakura and her usually quiet friend Hinata into a fit of giggles.

If time could have frozen still in that moment Sakura was sure that she along with the rest of her friends would agree to live in this moment forever. Everything felt so right, so happy, and so carefree. It was almost impossible to believe that so much destruction and heart ache had taken place just a few months prior.

The bodies that had once donned navy blue shirts and army green vests were now clad in casual every day wear. The faces that were once stained with tears, dirt, and worry were now gone, instead replaced with small smiles and happy blushes. This was the life they had all fought for and craved. This was how things were supposed to be.

"This is just like old times huh," Kiba's sharp black eyes took in the smiling faces of all his friends as he lazily ran his hand across Akumaru's soft, white fur. "All of our original childhood friends are here and then some." He shrugged towards the newer edition to the group, Sai, at the last part of his sentence.

"Shikamoo, Ino, Choji, Naruto, Sakura, Sai, Hinata, Lee, Tenten, Shino, Me, and of course Akumaru," almost as if on cue the Inuzuka's faithful companion let out a small bark. "All we need is Sasuke and then we'll be complete."

At the sound of his name the pinkette's small, pale fingers suddenly clenched around the chopsticks she had gripped in her hand. That name, the name that she had tried so hard to forget was suddenly thrown into the forefront of her mind. And Sakura hated it. She hated it with every fiber of her being.

In her mind the pinkette had hoped that her reaction to the mention of her raven haired team mate would be overlooked, but it seemed as if everyone had shifted their gaze to look at her, even the usually oblivious blonde knucklehead. It was almost as if they anticipated her reacting to the mention of his name…It made sense after all.

It was almost painful for her to lift the corner of her lips up in a small smile as her emerald eyes took in the now serious faces of all her friends. She wanted to go crawl into a dark corner right now. She really did.

"Heh, why'd you guys get all serious all of a sudden?" she raised her hand up to scratch at her candy pink hair sheepishly just like Naruto had done just minutes before. She had to keep her composure for just a little bit longer. She had to. "Weren't we just debating who could hold down more bowls of ramen or something?"

As if sensing his team mate's desperation in steering the topic and mood back to what it once was the blonde kitsune at her side suddenly placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder a small laugh escaping his lips. "Yeah, you're right. I still think I'm deserving of another bowl. Beating Choji at eating has always been a goal of mine. And I'll be damned if I let him out eat me with my favorite food!"

As if to emphasize his point Naruto grabbed the new steaming bowl of ramen handed to him and slurped down a small bite. The long table situated in front of the group of friends suddenly shook as Choji slammed a fist down on the hard wood. "You're on Uzumaki!" The room was again filled with the light buzz of casual conversation and Sakura let out a small relieved sigh, happy that all the attention that was once on her had been diverted.

Inwardly she thanked Naruto for yet again having her back as she slowly excused herself from the table, grabbing her small purse and light red jacket. When she stepped out into the night air and felt the cold breeze suddenly touch her skin Sakura let out a sigh, feeling a great weight being lifted off of her shoulders.

She had slipped away from the small gathering unnoticed and she was happy. She didn't really feel like talking to anyone now or explaining what had come over her. Not after that small episode.

The pinkette had already begun walking down the long expanse of the street when she heard a loud voice calling out to her. "Hey, Sakura-chan wait!" Her body stiffened at the sound. It seemed that her absence hadn't gone completely unnoticed. It took a couple of seconds until she heard the footsteps come to a stop right beside her. She didn't even need to turn her head to know who it was.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, why are you leaving so early?" The sadness in Naruto's voice was evident and the pinkette had to bite her lip as she felt the guilt clench at her heart unbearably. Her mind quickly came up with an excuse and before long her lips were moving on their own accord.

"I'm really not feeling well. I noticed it this morning and I thought it'd die off by now. But I guess I was wrong." She lied smoothly another fake smile setting on her lips as she turned her head towards the tall blonde at her side.

Naruto's ocean blue eyes surveyed her emerald ones for a split second before he shook his head a pained smile lining his features now. "Neh, you don't need to give me that excuse. I already used it on the others to explain why you left."

Sakura's pink eyebrows quirked up in surprise at his comment and a small blush made its way to her cheeks. Naruto always took care of her, always protected her. Just what had she done to deserve someone as caring as him in her life?

"I can tell something is bothering you Sakura. I know I may not be the best person to talk to about feelings and serious things…But if it relates to you I'm more than willing to give it a try yanno?" It was now his turn to blush as he looked at the pretty face of the girl he had been crushing on for as long as he could remember. He had known her for so long that he could easily read her like an open book and despite the fact that the pinkette hated it he internally loved it because it helped him find ways to lift up her mood whenever it got too low.

It was silent for a few moments as Sakura slowly pulled on her light jacket, buying herself time to figure out what to say next.

"It's really nothing Naru," the small nickname she often used with him slipped past her lips instinctively. "I just need some alone time and sleep I guess."

She saw his mouth open as if he was going to continue trying to persuade her into talking, but to her surprise he closed it in a split second, opting to instead give her another warm smile. "I'll just take your word for it. Just know that if you need someone to talk to you or let alone help you I'm here to talk or do whatever it is you need."

Sakura's candy pink hair rubbed along the skin of her cheek softly as she nodded her head, looking at him with gentle eyes.

"Yeah, so I'll let you get on your way. But before you leave there's something I've been meaning to ask you for a while now," The pinkette felt her eyes widen in anticipation as she stared wordlessly at the blonde, her eyes taking in his perfectly disheveled hair and twinkling eyes. Whatever it was he had to say to her she could tell he was happy about it, and if that was the case she was sure she would be too. "Well I wanted to ask you if—"

"AYE! Naruto!" a sharp almost enthused voice jerked the cherry blossom and kitsune's attention away from one other as they turned themselves around to gaze at the small Ichiraku Ramen Stand they had spent most of their night in. Kiba's head was poking out of the small entrance as he continued on with what he was saying dutifully, realizing that he had caught his intended target's attention. "Choji is on a roll man! You're wasting valuable time here. If you even want a chance at winning this competition you better come back here now before it's too late!"

Kiba was gone almost as quickly as he came and Naruto let out a small, weary sigh as he lifted his arms up to clasp behind the back of his head again. He trusted Kiba's judgment and if Choji was on the roll Naruto thought he was on time really was of the essence. It seemed like what he had to tell Sakura would have to wait. At least for a little while longer.

He turned his attention to his pink haired team mate again and before he could open his mouth to give her an apology for leaving so suddenly she was already waving her hand, sending him off with a small genuine smile. "You don't need to apologize for anything just go. You heard what Kiba said," Acting on instinct she put her small hands on his orange jacketed shoulders and began to gently push him towards the small ramen stand he loved so much. "You can make it up to me by winning this stupid competition you started. Just don't get yourself sick or fat…baka."

The blonde let out a small laugh at the last part and finally allowed himself to obey her small urges to go. He had already begun walking towards Ichiraku's when he finally decided to speak again, this time over his shoulder. "I'll try my best. Wouldn't want to let you down right? Have a goodnight. And please feel better."

The pinkette brought her hand to her chest and lightly gripped the zipper of her jacket as she stared warmly at the blonde's body as it got farther and farther away from her own, before finally disappearing into the small building where all their friends were gathered. Sakura stood where she was for a few seconds more, staring at the empty space, before turning herself around to walk towards the direction she was heading towards before she was stopped.

Her short heeled sandals scratched the dry gravel lying underneath her feet with each step she took but the sound was barely noticeable as she walked past the crowds of people lining the city streets. Konoha's central area was packed today, but that wasn't really a surprise considering it was a Friday night. Sparkling emerald eyes took in the smiling faces of little children running past her and the happy eyes of parents and the pinkette couldn't help but smile herself. It looked like everyone in the village was out enjoying the cool, fall night. Everyone except…him.

The cherry blossom's teeth came down slightly on the inside of her cheek as she let his name flood through her thoughts for the first time in months. Sasuke Uchiha…she hadn't heard much from him since the war had ended. The last real conversation they had took place back when she was healing him after his fateful battle with Naruto. But that was months ago, and it was now that the pinkette realized that it hadn't even been a conversation at all. Just a few brief words and a half assed apology.

"Sakura I…"

"Don't…I need to concentrate."

"I'm sorry…"

"Sorry? For what?"

"For everything I've done."

That was all. That was all he had given her. That was the extent at which his regret went and no matter how much the pinkette tried to overlook it and swallow her disappointment she just couldn't. Deep down inside she had hoped that he would get down on his knees and grovel for her forgiveness because of what he had done to her and what he had done to Naruto. She had hoped he'd cry for them just as they had cried for him… but he didn't. She had hoped that he would break out of his shell just once to show remorse…but he hadn't. He just continued on being the emotionless, stoic, shell of a man he always was.

And Sakura came to hate him for it. She really did.

She hated him for all he had put her through the past few years. She hated him because of the all the heartache and tears he'd cost her since they were children. But more importantly, she hated him because he hadn't given her the closure and acknowledgement she so desperately wanted from him since their academy days. And it was because of that the pinkette couldn't bring herself to accept his apology and forgive him. Not just yet.

As far as Sakura was concerned she was over him; over him for good. But even that fact alone wasn't enough to stop her from standing outside his door for the first time in years, her hand tensed and ready over the small, brass knob. She hadn't even realized that she had come here, that her feet had guided her to his doorstep. But something inside her, a gut feeling she supposed, told her that she had to come and check things out for herself. To see if he was okay. She might have given up worrying about him in a romantic sense, but that didn't mean she was completely willing to stop worrying about him as a whole.

She wasn't like Sasuke…not in any sense.

From behind the closed door the pinkette could hear nothing; no voices, no sounds, no indication that anyone was living there what so ever. There wasn't even any light illuminating through the cracks of the door. To a normal person it would look like whoever was living here wasn't home. Or even that the small apartment was abandoned. But Sakura was no ordinary person, she was a kunouchi; a kunouchi who had an uncanny ability to detect chakra signatures.

Someone was in that apartment, she could just feel it. But there was only one way to find out.

Without any more hesitation Sakura brought up her left hand and gently began tapping her knuckles on the wooden doorframe. This continued on for a few more seconds but no response came. That's when the pink haired kunouchi decided to use her voice.

"Hey, Sasuke," her voice blew small clouds of warm air into the crisp night breeze. "I know you're in there. Open up." Again there was no response. In her chest the pinkette could feel her heart beat picking up in agitation as she realized that he was ignoring her. Just like he always did. Even now, after he apologized and supposedly put them on "good terms" he still continued make her feel as if she wasn't worth his time. But she wouldn't let this faze her. She couldn't just walk away.

"If you aren't going to open the door like a normal human being then I'm coming in myself."

The cherry blossom's threat hung in the air tensely for a few moments, and when no response came the pinkette dug her hand into the pouch at her side, her fingers instantly closing along the cool metal of her kunai. The small blade glistened dully in the pale moonlight as she pressed the tip of it expertly into the lock at the door. After a few minutes of prying she finally heard the bolt "click" signifying that it was now unlocked. With a newfound sense of satisfaction the pinkette let out a brief smile, and slowly twisted the door knob revealing the contents of the room inside.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she saw.

Before she had even stepped in the small room a smell, a smell she couldn't even begin to describe, hit her in the face like a ton of bricks. It smelled bitter, sour, almost acrid and as the pinkette stepped inside the threshold of the home she slowly realized that the smell originated from the multiple bottles of alcohol strewn across the room. Her jade eyes looked upon the scene around her in disbelief and after a few seconds of fruitless searching she finally found what she was looking for.

Sitting sprawled in the corner of the living room, blanketed in complete darkness, barely noticeable to the world, was the raven haired avenger Sasuke. His pale skin and well-defined silhouette stood out vaguely in the darkness and if it hadn't been for her trained eyes the pinkette would have completely over looked him. What was going on? What was he doing?

"S-Sasuke," his name escaped her lips with a slow, shaky breath. "What's going on?"

The cherry blossom knew that the answer to that question was pretty self-explanatory but somewhere deep inside herself she hoped that he would somehow disprove her assumption and prove her wrong.

"What does it look like, Sakura?" his deep, smooth voice met her ears for the first time in a while and the pinkette felt goose bumps rise across her skin at his smart remark. He sounded the same…the exact same.

The sharingan user slowly lifted his hand up to his mouth to press a bottle of liquor to his lips and after taking a generous sip he put it down at his side his fingers tightly clenched along the neck of it. "What are you doing here?" His dark and lifeless onyx eyes fell upon the cherry blossom's tense form and Sakura felt her blood run cold.

His blunt question sent her mind reeling. What was she doing here? Why did she even give a damn about him in the first place? Hadn't she promised herself to never think about him again? Hadn't she?

"I came to check up on you," the words escaped her lips robotically. "No one has seen you around Konoha in a while. Everyone's been worrying so I just decided to drop in and see if you were okay."

And also make sure he was here…but he didn't need to know that part.

To her surprise she saw a wry smile touch his lips at her words. "Who's everyone huh?"

Pink eyebrows came together in confusion. "Everyone. Kiba, Ino, Shikamaru, Naruto…"

"But not you right?"

White teeth came down on shaky lips. "You know me well enough to know that answer for yourself."

The sardonic smile Sasuke had plastered on his lips remained there as he lifted the clear bottle to his mouth again to take another sip. The dim lights filtering into the apartment from outside gently illuminated the room, blanketing the contours of Sasuke's face as he rested his head back against the wall, his charcoal eyes coming to a close.

Even from where she was standing the pinkette could vividly see the differences in Sasuke's appearance. He looked beat up, tired, warn out even; a far cry from his usually clean cut self. He had dark circles bruising the skin under his eyes, his hair was a disheveled mess on his head, and his skin was a deathly pale color. Judging from what she was seeing and the smell of alcohol on his skin the pinkette knew that he had to have been drinking for a while now. It was blatantly obvious. But why? What was going on with him?

For as long as Sakura had known him she had never seen him do anything but take walks to relive stress and reflect on the troubles of life. Part of it probably had to do with the fact that she only ever interacted with him as a child. But a part of it also had to do with the fact that she never saw Sasuke externally deal with any of his troubles. He only dealt with them internally.

That was probably why the pinkette never pegged him as the type of person who would drink, let alone do anything destructive to his body. But based off of what she was seeing the cherry blossom slowly came to the realization that there was very little she actually knew about her mysterious team mate. Very little…

"If you came here scold me or give me some stupid speech about how wrong I am for doing this then I'd like you to leave." Sasuke's cool voice suddenly cut through the air, pulling his female team mate out of her thoughts.

Although the admonishing idea sounded appealing to the medic nin she knew that anger could do very little to fix tense and delicate situations like this one. If she wanted to get to the root of the problem, and figure out what was going on in the Uchiha's head she had to be soft. She had to be gentle…but that really wouldn't be a problem. She had years of practice with it anyway.

But where could she even start? What could she even say?

"I didn't come here to scold you. To be completely honest I just came by on a whim, expecting to see you for a few brief seconds at your door. But as you can see that didn't really work out…" a small amused scoff left the cherry blossom's lips in spite of herself. "I was at dinner with all the others… and your name came up sometime during the conversation."

"Hm?" A mock sound of interest escaped Sasuke's mouth. "What were they saying?"

The skin between the cherry blossom's eyebrows came down slightly as a small frown made its way to her face. Not much had really been said about him at the dinner…in fact once her friends saw her discomfort they let the topic of him go. But since he was asking she couldn't just shoot his question down. That wouldn't take her anywhere.

"They just briefly mentioned that they haven't seen you around much," the pinkette said smoothly. "A lot of them also wondered why you haven't joined us to do anything. You are back in the village after all…"

A dark look came across Sasuke's face at her words before a loud, almost ear splitting sound cut through the air. The glass bottle Sasuke had in his hands came into contact with the wall standing just a few feet in front of him. The sudden sound startled the pinkette as she looked down at the broken shards and the brown liquid staining the beige carpet.

Sasuke…he had just…

"Please tell me you're lying when you say that," a small sound of disbelief left his lips. "Please tell me that all of you aren't so fucking naïve."

Sakura's pink eyebrows quirked up in disbelief at his words and instinctually she felt anger pulsing through her body. How could he even say that about his friends? After all they had done to save him…had he really sunk that low?

"You and your friends can't just expect everything to go back to normal like nothing ever happened. We all know how badly I fucked up and how badly I messed up your lives. The damage I've caused has been obvious since we were Genin."

At the end of his words Sakura felt her mouth open on its own accord but she quickly closed it, realizing that no sound would come out. She didn't know what to say to him. She didn't know how to even begin formulating a response because every part of what he said was true. He had made their lives a living hell for the past few years. He had caused a lot of harm to the village they all strived to protect. He had messed up badly…He had…

But that was before. Not now.

"All that happened in the past Sasuke," the pinkette bit down on her lip as she watched a flash of anger make its way to his face. "We all know that broken relationships can't be mended over-night. But it can happen. Everyone has already forgiven you and –"

"I don't give a damn about anyone's forgiveness Sakura!" His fist came down harshly on the drywall behind him and the cherry blossom flinched, her hands curling into fists at her side. "Do you think that anyone's forgiveness will fix what has happened to me and what has happened to my family? Do you think it will bring back all those people I've killed and everyone that I love? Huh?" He was yelling now. "Answer me Sakura!"

Sasuke's suddenly harsh voice and his poignant words hit Sakura like a tidal wave and without her permission her eyes began to sting with the beginnings of tears. She hated it when people yelled at her…she really did. But Sasuke wasn't in his right mind right now; he was drunk.

"I'm not going to stand here and lie to you," the pinkette's words came out in a small whisper as she struggled to hide the trembling. "I'm not going to stand here and lie saying that forgiveness will fix all your problems because it won't. But do you know what else won't help you? Or your problems? Drinking yourself to death."

A slight almost unnoticeable reaction came across Sasuke's face at her words but it was quickly wiped away before the cherry blossom could look into it further. Whether she liked to admit it or not, seeing her raven haired team mate like this broke something inside of her. This wasn't how things were supposed to be between them. This wasn't the way he was supposed to look. And this wasn't the way he was supposed to be handling his problems….he wasn't supposed to be alone.

"Even if you won't admit it to my face I know just by looking at your eyes that you haven't forgiven me. At least not yet," his now soft voice broke his team mate out of her thoughts. "I deserve that much. But what I do to myself doesn't concern you. I've given up hope in living a long time ago and it's about time you give up too."

The fist Sakura had at her side began shaking as her tearful jade orbs looked upon the messy room in front of her, then on the multiple bottles lying strewn around them, before finally falling on the tired and lifeless face of her raven haired team mate. For the first time that night the cherry blossom could see the raw emotion on his face and the sheer hopelessness he had in his eyes. Seeing him like this so utterly broken and alone shattered the pinkette's will to abandon him and ignore his existence.

Regardless on how she felt she couldn't just let him suffer alone. She just couldn't. She had already watched this horrible addiction ruin the lives of all those close to her. And she'd be damned if she let it ruin another one.

With a new found sense of courage the pinkette took a few steps forward to kneel in front of the raven haired Uchiha. Cold, lifeless, onyx eyes met tearful emerald ones as she reached forward to hold his face in her hands. "Regardless on if I've forgiven you or not I'm not going to let the opportunity to help you slip away from me. I've already done so too many times before."

A/N: Phew...this chapter came out to be a lot longer than I expected. I apologize if any of the characters seem OOC but keep in mind this story takes place a few months after the war. Sasuke had this sudden shift in personality so it seemed appropriate to make him a little less...snappy :P If you are curious about what Sakura will do next and how she will help Sasuke recover from his alcoholism stay tuned for the next chapter! I'm not sure when it will be up but hopefully it'll be up before my break is over. As always feel free to fav, follow, or review this chapter. All feedback will be greatly appreciated :) Till next time!

- Emi