The hotel room the two teenagers were staying in was dimly lit, almost completely dark if not for the slight beam of moonlight slipping through the blinded window. There on the messy bed laid the tan teen and the pale teen, both were only in their boxers.
The tan teen, Gon, was laying on his back, eyes lidded, face looked peaceful as he snored slightly. The other teen, Killua, however, was laying on his stomach, arms placed on his sides, face facing away from the other teen. He was awake, but he didn't want to move-didn't have the willpower to move, he didn't even try to open his eyes. The only thing that went through his mind over and over again was the question that tortured him, 'What had we become?'
For the past four years, Killua had tagged alongside with Gon. He had trained with him, fought with him, growing up with him, becoming stronger and taller with him, while simultaneously searching for Ging.
The pale teen couldn't help but to feel proud of his best friend as he grew bigger and bigger, while being able to maintain the childlike wonder towards the world, still smile widely as if they're still children.
'Gon is growing up too fast.' That's what the pale teen always thought of whenever he looked at his best friend-and secretly, his crush.
He could recall the few months when Gon had grew taller than he was, being the taller and bulkier one had made the pale teen looked as if he's the weakest among the two-although Killua was still stronger than Gon.
The tan teen was so happy at that moment, celebrating the fact that he'd became taller than his best friend and would sometimes mock the pale teen for not being the taller one anymore-and everybody else joined in. It was quite a frustrating period for Killua.
Later on, the pale teen hit puberty and gained back his rightful place for being the taller teen, others stopped making fun of him afterwards.
The duo had been on the adventures for years, following the trail that Ging barely leave behind, and yet the tan teen still stayed determined, eyes still gleamed at the horizon, and held confidence that they'll find his father soon enough.
'Gon is always unreachable.'
There are, of course, some changes in Gon that the pale teen just didn't feel proud of.
Since Gon hit puberty, he'd been more and more interested and curious about sex. Killua could remember the times when the other teen openly watched porn, with his hand in his boxer, and the pale teen beside him.
Killua freaked out the first time it happened, but he'd gotten used to it soon enough and settled for leaving the room every time it happened. He'd wondered if it's because he'd let Gon watch porn when they were twelve back then.
The teen later entertained himself without the need to watch porn and still not embarrassed of his act in front of his best friend.
"Killua, why'd you always leave?"
"Huh?" The pale teen halted his plan to leave the room and turned his attention towards the other teen.
Suddenly he felt guilty of leaving Gon every time, maybe he should stay?
"Stay with me," That left no room for arguments, not that the pale teen had anything to argue about, so he complied the wish.
He'd stayed awkwardly, adverting his attention towards the screen, and then back at Gon, and then towards anything in the room to past time.
'Gon has high sex-drive.'
As the duo grew, Killua noticed that he himself had become extremely cuddly towards Gon. He would sometimes hug and nuzzle his head into the tan teen briefly before letting go. The other had noticed this as well and would pet him while he was asleep, brushing and carding his fingers into the strands of white soft locks while Killua sigh in satisfaction.
Killua loved affection shown physically through touches and hugs, but he'd wondered if he was normal, for he'd always observe how attractive his best friend had become, but it had never been able to turn him on.
Whenever he'd stayed physically or interactively too close with others, the tan teen would get extremely jealous. Killua would found himself being dragged away and would hear a very detectable lie come out from Gon's mouth, telling the person they're busy and not to follow them-specifically, Killua.
The tan teen always wanted to cuddle Killua more than the pale teen wanted to be cuddled. At first, he'd thought that Gon was just indulging him, raining him with excessive affections, but it didn't take long to realize the motive behind all the physical contacts he'd received.
'Gon is just marking his territory.'
Gon never liked him the way he'd like Gon, what went through the tan teen's mind was just 'Killua is mine and mine alone!' What he'd shown is just pure possessiveness that had grown stronger and stronger each day.
Killua's scared, and he really should be.
He had to wear unrevealing garments to cover up the bruises and bite marks made by mouth and careless fingers that littered on his body. He had to ensure that he didn't stay too close to others to avoid tan hand gripping his arm and pulling him away, using too much force than needed and would form bruises. He had to make sure he'd hugged back whenever Gon hugged him, better having the tan male rubbing his scent on him than having bitten.
Killua wasn't sure if he liked cuddling anymore.
Gon wanted to etch himself into Killua's entirety, to be his one and only and everything.
Killua stripped down to his boxer and threw his clothes away while he collapsed onto the bed, exhausted from the mission they'd completed. Gon also had himself stripped and was eyeing the pale teen's waist with eyes darkened with possessiveness. Killua followed his eyes and found out Gon was staring at the newly formed bruise.
They were just casually hanging out after the mission, and was on their way back to the hotel. It had been a long time that they hadn't joke and talk like back then, like when they were still children and like nothing ever changed. That was until a stranger decided to ruin it for them.
Killua found out someone had smacked him at his back-lower back, he was going to turn around to see who it was and that's when he felt a jerk that prevented him from turning around. He had himself pulled towards the tan teen, the strong fingers gripped his waist painfully, almost like a warning to not give any reaction towards what had been done by that someone.
He looked at Gon briefly, dark amber eyes-those amber eyes which he loved-glared at someone who he hadn't has the chance to see.
Gon had practically dragged him home after that.
Gon walked silently towards the pale teen, and collapsed onto him, Killua wrapped his arms around Gon as he started cuddling his possession. Killua is well-familiar with this cuddling session, but his gut was telling him that this time, it would be different, and it was right.
The tan teen halted from his cuddling, licking, sucking and biting-which didn't surprise Killua for what had happened earlier that day.
"Killua, have sex with me?" It was not a question, so permission was not needed.
The pale teen found himself on his hands and knees before he can completely register what was going on, strong arms that had flitted him around with ease left to pull his boxer down.
'Gon's strong.' The first reaction he should have is to feel fear, shock and disbelief, he should be worried for his own sake and be saddened by how fucked up this entire situation is, and yet that was his first reaction, to feel impressed at Gon's strength. That was when he'd realized how he'd fucked up too.
Killua, for Gon, is now his first best friend, his possession, his first times, and his sex toy.
The pale teen's sick of feeling the unwanted intrusion, the uncoordinated and merciless thrusts, of biting back noises he didn't want to make, of how sore his arms and legs had become from preventing himself from collapsing.
He hated that Gon had called him amazing and felt better than his hands.
"Killua, you're amazing!"
How much those words can flatter him back then was a mystery to Killua now.
Gon would collapse in exhaustion caused by muscle contractions and orgasm after he'd finished, while Killua collapsed in exhaustion for having to hold both of them up and relief. All through the session, the pale teen remained flaccid.
The tan teen nibbled on the pale nape, running his fingers across the bruises and bite marks, and complimented him, "You're amazing,"
The eyes are the window to the soul, and Killua didn't trust how it looked like, so he kept his eyes closed. Letting the other caress and cuddle him as much as wanted, being deaf towards the compliments he'd been showered in.
After all that had been done to him by his best friend that left him feeling disgusted at himself and their relationship, he'd never hated him, although he knew he should have. He'd loved him too much till this extend, it is stupid and unhealthy for both of them but he just couldn't leave. Not when he knew the ghost of the marks left by his most important person will haunt him if he did. Not when he knew Gon would hunt him down if he did, and he didn't know what would happen after he'd been found.
For safety measure, he decided to stay.
'Gon is dangerous.'