SUMMARY: He's been paired with another Cortana model. And he hates her. -DRABBLE/ONESHOT-
NEVERMORE
by Ladywolvesbayne
He hates her.
Chief Mendez didn't raise him or his fellow SPARTANS to feel hate (neither love), but he knows he hates her.
He hates her cocky smile. Her bright blue eyes. Her mischievous voice. The curvy lines of her holographic avatar. The way she looks at him over her shoulder. The way she stares at him while he's trying not to say the wrong thing and give himself away. How she can read him like an open book, despite his silence. She's dangerously smart and he knows that, very soon, this construct will learn everything that there is to know about the Master Chief, and probably feel sorry for him. Or for herself.
She didn't pick him. She was just assigned to work with him and she knew why, but she didn't seem to care. He does, and he can't even bring himself to let the past go and just get along with her. After all, he was told that he shouldn't become dependent of his gear, since equipment could fail and get him killed.
He should've known better.
Can he endure another four to six years with her whispering in his ear, driving him crazy?
Can he survive that long?
He hates what the sound of her voice makes him feel. He hates himself for reacting like that to her, and for hating her.
It's not her fault. She doesn't know him at all. She keeps calling him 'Chief' and talking to him like nothing ever happened, but she doesn't remember anything and doesn't feel anything because she simply isn't her. This is not Cortana. This is a fake, an impostor. And he hates her guts. He could demand to be paired with another AI and be done with it, but he wasn't one to surrender. Asking for a replacement would be like admitting openly that he was too compromised and stressed to deal with this new Cortana model. That he, somehow, allowed himself to become attached to a piece of technology.
He knew her serial number and could recite it even unconsciously. But he doesn't know his new AI's serial number and he doesn't care to memorize it. He wants her gone. Away from him, mute.
But he can't do that. He needs to hear her voice so he can bring back the good memories and be able to sleep from time to time. He needs her cocky smiles and mischievous voice, because that tingling on his skin makes him feel alive. And he hates to need her like that. His job is to take care of his new AI, but he really doesn't give a shit if she disappears, as long as nobody can blame him for it. He thought about it many times. He could just slip her chip in the wrong position and loose it in the middle of a mission. He could have someone planting a nasty virus on her. Or he could just ignore her.
Quoting the Arbiter... were it so easy.
He's so fucked up in the brain that he keeps his mouth shut and curls up in his cot trying to fall asleep while holding tightly the empty chip between his fingers, that chip he somehow managed to recover and keep safe. She used to be his shield and sword, his anchor, now she's dead weight and draws him back, like chains. His new AI suspects something is wrong and she tried to talk to him about it one or two times, but he knows better than answering her dangerous questions. He hates her ability to make the right questions, actually, to unfold the layers of his mind and dive beneath his skin.
He hates her. And he loves her so much that he just can't look away, he just can't pretend he's deaf, and he can't help himself to long for her. He hates her. He wishes they both died in the explosion, that she never said goodbye. He just can't take it anymore. This ghostly sensation, deep in the back of his mind, tells him that maybe someday things will be okay and everything will be like it used to be between them. It's a childish wish and he was never really a child, so it feels strange.
He hates to wake up and see her standing by his cot, hands behind her back and looking innocently at him.
He just… hates her.
Yet he wishes that she can remember him, and make things right.
But this isn't Cortana. And he's not human anymore.
END
Okay, I don't know. I finished reading another fanfic last night and this came to my mind, I actually typed it from my phone and edited it this morning. What if John was actually paired with another Cortana model? I figure that he wouldn't like it, judging for his reaction at Ivanoff Station when she brought up the subject. There's only one Cortana. Just one.
If you liked this, maybe you'd like to check RECOMPOSE, another fanfic I'm working on. Longfic, updates every Sunday. MCxC, sci-fi, action, a bit of intended romance, human!Cortana, you know, the usual. It actually has a plot. Thanks for being here and for the support -hugs-
Anyway, care to tell me what you think?