Title: Binge And Purge
Author: Daisy
Fandom: South Park
Setting: Hobby Lobby in Denver, Colorado
Pairing: Craig Tucker/Gregory of Yardale/Tweek Tweak
Characters: Craig Tucker, Gregory of Yardale, Tweek Tweak, Wendy Testaburger
Genre: Romance/Humor
Rating: T
Chapters: 1/1
Word Count: 2215
Type of Work: One-Shot
Status: Complete
Warnings: Gay, Slash, Yaoi, Fluff, Stupid Humor, Melodramatic Boys
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: When Tweek dragged them into Hobby Lobby, Craig and Gregory knew that the day was about to get flipped on its side.
AN: Found a polyship prompt blog, and also found this prompt, and needed to write it. Babies need written. I'm trash whoops.
Prompt: Which member of the polyship goes through expensive crafting phases and buys everything they could possibly need before figuring out if the craft is something they'll stick with. which member tries (and fails) to be the voice of reason. which member loves seeing anything that comes of the crafting stints. which member tries to join in but doesn't have an ounce of creativity in their body and fails horribly. which member likes to hang finished projects on the fridge?
Binge And Purge ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Tweek, really," Gregory frowned, crossing his arms over his chest and resting most of his weight on one leg, "You don't even know if you like needle point."
"No, n-no, I don't, but what if I do?" The taller blond shot back with an equally impressive frown, knowing that it probably wouldn't work if he tried to pout, "We aren't in Denver that often! What if they don't have this thread next time? Huh? What if there is no next time?" The entire store nearly vibrated with the energy radiating off of Tweek, and Craig was quick to wrap a strong arm around his thin waist to tug him close.
"Seriously, babe." Stunted sentences always managed to catch Tweek's attention, however short the span of it, and he glanced down at the other. "You don't need every shade of every color for your-" He caught himself before he said stupid, because that was a can of worms he knew he and Gregory didn't have the patience for, "New… Hobby…?" A look flashed across his face and Gregory had to stifle a laugh.
What the Hell is needlepoint, even?
"I think what our dear, nescient Craig is saying is that neither of you even know what needlepoint is." Putting up both hands in a desperate ploy to appease Tweek before he started speaking, the Brit took a breath before starting again, "Perhaps, before you purchase your weight in thread, you should look at a few kits, maybe see if there's something that is… Easier…?"
The little lilt to his voice only made the Brit sound more condescending to the other blond, who was already zoning out his words the second that Gregory had said that neither of them knew what needlepoint was. By the time that he had finished, the taller (by four inches, Gregory would remind himself) male was leaning down purposefully, eyes narrowed.
"How fucking dare you, man?! I don- How could you say that?" The second Gregory heard the barely-restrained crack in his lover's voice, his face was overtaken with panic.
"Now, now, Tweek, love, please don't make a sc-" It seemed the placating hands weren't working anymore, the second that he tried them they were smacked away.
"No, man, you don't understand! This is my life!" The tantrum had begun, and suddenly Craig found himself between two blonds three seconds away from a smackdown in the middle of a Hobby Lobby in Denver.
"It is not. You didn't even know it existed until Wendy showed off her work on Facebook this morning." Gregory spoke in hushed tones, trying to quell the screaming match that he knew the other was desperate to get into.
"Don't bring your little girlfriend into this!" Cried the younger blond, arms above his head as the threads he'd been carrying fell all around him. "I don't want to give up!"
"You haven't even started!" If the venomous tone wasn't enough to fan the flames of this petty scuffle, then it was probably the slant to Gregory's eyes, or maybe the clench of his fist.
"This is my life!" Tweek shrieked, in full diva mode already, and, though his first reaction had been to pull out his phone and yell 'cat fight', Craig thought better of his first plan. Instead, he calmly grabbed Tweek, nearly in tears, and carried him off deeper into the store.
"Gregory-" He started, throwing a dark-eyed glare at him, "Calm your tits and pick that up, get a cart, meet us in the beads and shit when you can have a conversation without accusing him of being an idiot." That earned him a hard blow to the chest with a bony knee, but at this point, Craig was so used to getting kneed and elbowed that it barely bothered him. If anything, it was a cue to separate the two before the entire place burned down around them.
"Don't worry about him, babe. He doesn't have a creative bone in his body." He told his lover in a matter-of-fact tone, "He's just jealous because he couldn't even thread a needle if his life depended on it. I've seen you stitch faster than…" He paused, seemingly lost on what to say, "Something that does something else super fast." Because avoiding metaphors and similes was something he'd become rather adept at, just not necessarily when he was just as flustered as the quaking mass of caffeinated string bean in his arms.
"D-damn right he's jealous." Tweek muttered, still slung over the other's shoulder like a rather thin sack of flour, "He's tryin' to keep me down, man! Can't appreciate my art."
"He wishes I'd hang his crappy macaroni pictures up on the fridge with all of your masterpieces." Craig nodded, knowing that the best way to calm him down was to agree with him. If anyone knew about Tweek making a scene, it was Craig. After all, that had probably been the thing to cement their long-lived relationship; his ability to draw you in with words, even if they were negative.
Meanwhile, Gregory was muttering to himself, puttering back over to the fallen threads and swatches of fabric, the little circles that he was sure would just end up on the floor of their shared studio apartments (side by side, of course). With a put-upon sigh, he stooped to pick them up, absently cataloging what cost what, and if he could sneak-buy everything to make it up to the other blond. Letting his curls fall over his face as he thought, he absently dropped things in the basket he'd grabbed when it became too much for him to hold.
Even Gregory knew better than to egg him on when they were in public, and it was never easy to figure out what would set the other off, but if Craig thought it was bad enough to split them up, then he knew he had some apologies to make. Not that he'd say them before Tweek, but at least they would be present. He still had his pride, after all, and to admit that he was wrong and that he wanted to encourage sleep over the procrastination of it, well, it was putting him on the Wrong Side. Ever since they met, he had tried to help Tweek sleep more often than not, especially when Craig had to go out of town, but it was like fighting the inevitable.
These thoughts were on his mind as he idly browsed through other aisles, picking up little trinkets and small crafts for himself. Okay, so most of these he would claim were for him, but, in reality, he was pretty sure this needlepoint thing wasn't going to take off. There were so many abandoned projects hanging around that he'd already had to get a second storage unit just to keep some of the things Tweek had picked up and dropped, and they'd only been living (somewhat) together for two months. His busywork could really wear on the budget, too, because he had this thought that, this time, he'd do it forever, and he actually didn't even waste more than five minutes on the damn thing.
Rubbing his temples as he thought of it, the simple fact that Tweek needed to keep busy all of the time, and more than half of his endeavors were never finished. Craig did a real bang-up job of keeping him busy whenever he was awake, but even the football player had an end to his stamina. Maybe that was why they had had an open "thing", as Tweek had explained, when he'd first gotten involved. Even still, it seemed that two men couldn't keep him entertained enough that he didn't need to pick up all of these extra hobbies.
By the time he finally rounded into the beading section, he had a full cart of supplies for various things, and a pretty little gem that he would happily have set into a pretty necklace at a later date. Nobody ever said expensive gifts had to be less personal. After all, he was sure that the little coffee bean he'd found, silver and made to be a little bell, was going to make Tweek smile again. As much as he'd love three weeks of the silent treatment over screaming in a store, he would much prefer taking the easy way out and bribing him with gifts. Calculating what he had left in his bank account, he figured he had enough for some pretty little silver chain, real down to the last carat.
This aisle, it seemed, was unsurprisingly void of his boyfriends, Gregory found, and it had him heaving a great sigh. Patting the chest pocket of his nice, powder blue dress shirt, he gave another, more relieved sigh when he felt the car keys through the soft linen. Thank God, he almost muttered under his breath, because if Tweek were really that angry, he might have been left behind with a fuckton of crafting materials. A familiar squeak alerted the blond to where the two might have gotten off to, a few cluttered arteries over, and he was instantly on his way to begin the grovelling he would never admit to.
"There you two are." He smiled, rounding the corner only for his jaw to drop and a confused, flustered expression to take its place, before he could school his face into something a bit less vulnerable. "And what, pray tell, are you two doing?"
Tilting his head back to look, Tweek offered an amused smile as he was dipped a little deeper by Craig. Apparently, Craig had grabbed him up for some impromptu waltzing practice as You And Me by Lifehouse played over the speakers. It didn't take long for the dip to turn into a jealousy-inducing (and awkwardly long) kiss, leaving Gregory to watch with his arms crossed over his chest, a huffy pout on his lips. Giving his lower lip an extra wibble when Craig broke the kiss to let Tweek pant into his chest, he made sure they looked at him, clearing his throat.
"I asked you two a question."
A quick draw of both middle fingers was enough to send Tweek to the floor with little more than a gasp of surprise, arching his back and immediately rolling to his side and trying to rub his spine.
"We were practicing that stupid dance." Craig muttered distractedly, bent at the tallest male's side, trying to help with the back rubs even as Tweek inched his body towards Gregory. Taking this as his apology being accepted, he bent down and scooped their lover up into his arms. Patting his back, he smoothed down the untamed locks on his head and gave him a sweet kiss on his temple.
"Did that naughty boy drop you?" He simpered, as though Tweek were a child that had had his candy stolen and it was such a shame.
"Bo-both of you are on the shitlist tonight. You're sleeping in the car." That went without saying, however, because Tweek would probably decide to ship them out of Denver sometime around midnight.
"While you drive us home, right, Tweekers?" Gregory may have given a not-so-manly shriek of fear when Craig surged up behind Tweek, their face inches away from one another.
"N-no, man! I can't dri-drive us home! That's way too much pressure! One of you a-assholes needs to stay awake so I don't fly us into space!"
"I do like space." Craig tried lamely, his grin widening at Gregory's disdainful eyeroll.
"I will drive us home, you wanted to try your needlepoint, anyways." Even if he still didn't know what it even really was. "Craig needs something new to hang on the fridge, when we get back."
"And you need something new to gawk at and send photos of to your mom, saying 'look what I did'. You know, I think she knows your only creative outlet is that clarinet you still kind of suck balls at." Craig chuckled, having to stand on his tiptoes to rest his chin on Tweek's shoulder, even with him bent like he was. "So, let's get our shit together and get out of here. We're eating at Chili's, and I'm starving."
"We most certainly are no-" Gregory began, only to have Tweek kiss him.
"We decided unanimously while we were mad at you that we are, so we're going. Plus, we haven't had Mexican in a while." Gregory started to open his mouth, but Tweek silenced him with another kiss, "Shh. Taco Bell is not real Mexican. Don't start. Please?" Those pretty indigo eyes could have had a meteor turning the other cheek, Gregory was certain of it.
"Alright, alright, fine. Let's just finish up here." He offered, pulling away from his tactile lovers and huffing again, more for his image than anything. "Come now, off with you. Let's buy this stuff." Whooping echoed behind him as he started pushing the cart along to the checkout counter, and the elder blond couldn't help but think that he felt more like a babysitter on days like this.
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