The warm summer breeze was playing with Constance's hair as she walked through the newly restored garrison that morning. The old wooden structure that had been destroyed by Marchieu's bomb had been completely replaced by a sturdier, more practical home for the Musketeer's regiment, and had been funded by the Crown using the money saved from disbanding the Red Guard. Whenever that thought came to her Constance couldn't help but smile at the irony.
Today, however, she wasn't smiling. Instead her anxiety and stress caused a furrow in her brow and she chewed her bottom lip as she walked across the yard towards D'Artagnan's office.
"Madame D'Artagnan!" a voice called from behind her. She turned to see the newest cadet, Durand, running towards her. He slipped to a halt on the gravel and flushed red, which made Constance grin. Durand was barely older than a boy and he seemed to be terrified of Constance for no other reason than she was the only woman he'd ever talked to besides his mother. However, he was sweet enough and desperate to become a Musketeer.
"What is it, Durand?"
"The Lourve, Madame, you've been summoned," he held out a letter with the Queen's seal on it.
"Thank you," Constance said, taking it. She didn't open it right away as she knew what it would say; instead she continued to D'Artagnan's office, shut the door behind her, sank into the chair behind the desk and put her head in her hands.
How was she supposed to tell him? She knew what would happen if she did, and it was that she was dreading. He'd be thrilled, but Constance couldn't yet bring herself to feel happy about this. It was too uncertain, too different, and too scary. This wasn't something that felt right at this moment in time, not with the country being at war and Paris barely avoiding riots. Granted, since Queen Anne had become Regent things had been better; there was enough food now, and veterans were receiving their pensions, but it was far from perfect. Bringing a child into this world terrified her.
The thought of the Queen reminded her she had somewhere to be. Constance rose from behind D'Artagnan's chair and left the office.
"Ready me a horse," she requested of one of the cadets in the yard as she descended the steps. As she reached the bottom she looked up to see D'Artagnan returning from a morning ride out with some of the other Musketeers. He'd left her a note for when she woke up explaining that they had to oversee a gift from a foreign King entering the city and escort it to the Lourve. They'd left so early he hadn't disturbed her.
Seeing her husband on his horse, wearing his armour still made Constance's heart flutter slightly, even after being married nearly six years – even though he was absent for four of them- but today the usual joy of seeing him was tinged with a nervousness and apprehension. D'Artagnan dismounted and tied up his horse before turning to her and smiling at her.
"Good morning," he said, warmly. Constance pushed his long hair back and returned the smile, but when he went to wrap his arms around her in an embrace she stepped back.
"What is it? Did I do something wrong?" A concerned look crossed D'Artagnan's face as he surveyed her.
Constance cleared her throat and moved around him, "No, I'm fine. Thank you," she added as she took the reins of her horse from the cadet that had saddled him.
"Where are you going?" D'Artagnan asked, troubled.
"I'm wanted at the Louvre," she said, shortly as she mounted and turned her horse towards the gates of the garrison.
"Constance, what-"
"I'll see you later today." Constance kicked her horse into a trot and left the yard into the city.
Part of her felt very guilty for how she had just behaved. She didn't mean to upset D'Artagnan, nor make him worry, but she couldn't lie to him. He could read her so easily and if she stayed she knew he'd get it out of her straight away and she wasn't ready to tell him just yet. Plus she still needed time to work out just how she felt about the situation. She still didn't know what to do or what to think, so instead she rode the familiar streets of Paris to the Palace.
The streets were as busy as usual, with people crowding the markets and children playing in the squares. The sight made Constance's heart ache with longing and confliction, so she continued on. By the time she was entering the Palace gates the sun was at its peak signalling noon. Constance nodded to the guards at the doors and they let her pass without question due to the regularity of her visits to see the Queen. Despite this she still had an armed escort leading the way to the Anne's chambers. However, when they reached the door to Anne's rooms she entered alone.
The Queen's rooms were light and airy, this particular reception room being a powder blue with golden accents. In the far corner sat Anne closing a book she had been reading.
"Constance, it's good to see you," she said as she stood and walked over with a gracious smile and open arms.
"Your Majesty," Constance curtseyed. "Anne." she corrected herself with a smile.
"Better," Anne dismissed her servants and guards in the room with a look, hugged Constance and took both her hands, bringing her to sit with her on the sofa. "I do hope you don't mind me calling for you like that. While I feel discourteous in doing so it is the most effective way for me to reach you. As much as I would like to I can't simply drop by to see you on my own."
"I don't mind, the ride was welcome today. Where is the King today?" Constance asked, looking around the room.
"Oh, he's having his lessons this morning, begrudgingly." Anne shook her head, laughing softly, "That boy will play with swords all day but it takes an age to convince him to sit down with his tutor."
"Well, a king must know how to handle a sword. Who is training him?" There was a strong possibility Constance knew him through D'Artagnan or the various people that visited the garrison.
Anne shifted in discomfort and looked embarrassed, "It's Aramis."
"Oh. Well that's reasonable; he is one of the best swordsmen in France."
"Exactly my thinking," Anne said. Both women laughed. "So how are things at the new garrison? Is D'Artagnan enjoying being Captain of the Musketeers?"
Constance nodded, "It's perfect, thank you again. D'Artagnan, although he is away more and working hard, is delighted with his new position." Her voice drifted off and she looked down at her hands in her lap. The summons from the Queen, though short notice, had given her the perfect opportunity to voice her concerns to someone who had been through what she was facing, even if it had been in slightly more privileged conditions.
"Is something wrong?" Anne asked, hesitant. Constance took a deep breath and realised there were tears welling up in her eyes. She quickly brushed them away and steadied herself.
"Constance, please tell me what is troubling you," said Anne.
Constance looked up and saw Anne's face, full of compassion and friendship and decided to trust her with her worries.
"It's trivial really," she said with a small laugh, and then her words began to spill out. "I can't decide how to tell D'Artagnan, not because I'm scared of the reaction – I know what his reaction will be – but because I don't feel the same, what with the situation we're in and that Paris is in. I could lose him any day, any time he goes out on a mission, and I don't know that I could do it on my own and-"
"Constance," Anne interrupted, placing her hands on her shoulders. "Calm down." Constance nodded and took several calming breaths until she had returned to her normal state. Anne gauged Constance and waited for a while before speaking.
"Are you pregnant?" She asked, slowly. Constance nodded again and Anne pulled her in for a hug. "Oh, Constance, please don't panic yourself over this. You have nothing to fear."
Before she could answer the door opening caused her to glance up. Aramis entered the room then stalled, realising he was interrupting.
"Apologies, Your Majesty, Constance. I wasn't aware anyone was in here" he said with a bow. He turned to leave, but Anne spoke.
"No need to go, Aramis," she walked over and closed the door behind him before he could leave. "You might be able to be of help." Anne brought him over to where Constance was sitting, despite her protestations.
"Anne, I -"
"Constance, everyone will know soon enough. Constance and D'Artagnan are having a baby" she added to Aramis, who immediately looked delighted.
"Congratulations!" he exclaimed, kissing Constance on the cheek. She smiled weakly in return. "You don't look too excited though?"
"Constance is concerned that the current climate isn't the best time to bring a child into the world." Constance threw Anne a scowl when she said this, but Anne merely shrugged. Aramis moved to sit next to Constance on the sofa and placed a hand on hers.
"You and D'Artagnan are wonderful people, and I'm convinced that you will be excellent parents also," he said in a measured, comforting voice. "As for worrying about the uncertainty of the future, it will always be uncertain and there will always be things that could go wrong, but that is exactly why having a child is the right thing to do. Bring some good into the world and help to shape the future to be better than today."
Aramis had a wonderful talent to calm and reason with people who were distressed. Constance squeezed his hand in thanks and sighed in resignation.
"You speak sense as always, Aramis," Constance said, wryly. She looked up to Anne. "I still don't know how to tell him though."
"D'Artagnan doesn't know?" Aramis exclaimed, with a hit of accusation in his voice. Constance flushed and looked away, embarrassed, but Anne defended her.
"You forget yourself, Aramis," she said, cautioning him. He stood and bowed apologetically.
"You're right, Your Majesty. Again, I am sorry, Constance." Constance waved away the need for his apology.
"Aramis, please bring D'Artagnan to the Louvre." Anne requested, then, noticing Constance chewing on her bottom lip in worry, added "There's no use putting it off any longer." Aramis bowed and took his leave without another word. Even though Constance knew about his and Anne's relationship they were still cautious, and never gave any hint that they were together when they were around others. In public their relationship was no different than that of a Queen Regent and one of her ministers.
Anne returned to her seat beside Constance. "I want you to know that you are a dear friend, and one of my closest advisors, even if you have no official title to make you so. I want to reassure you that you will have access to all the royal doctors and the best medical advice there is, paid for by the crown. Please don't protest," she said, as Constance had shaken her head and began to speak. "Please don't try and be noble and turn down my offer. Let me do this for my friend. I won't take no for an answer."
She saw no point in arguing by this stage, so Constance simply smiled appreciatively.
"Thank you, it's very kind of you." She said, accepting the offer.
Constance waited for D'Artagnan to arrive in a different room to the one in which she had met with the Queen. This one was in a different area of the Louvre and it was smaller and much more intimate. She also waited alone. Anne had left her to continue with her duties, something which Constance was quietly grateful. She didn't want to have this conversation with D'Artagnan in front of an audience.
She couldn't sit. Instead she paced the room, her hands on her stomach. She was pregnant – it had been confirmed by the doctor she had seen – yet she felt no different. There was no other presence she could detect that she had always expected, there was no bump that she could feel, and the only indicator had been the absence of her periods and vomiting in the mornings. Frankly she was surprised she'd managed to hide these things from D'Artagnan, but she couldn't do it any longer.
A soft knock at the door brought her out of her day dreaming and she spun round to see D'Artagnan entering. With all the worry she had been putting on herself Constance couldn't help but smile briefly when she saw him. He walked straight over to her with a quizzical look.
"Aramis said I had to come to the palace?" he said with raised eyebrows. "Do you have any idea what this is about?"
She said nothing; instead she slid her arms around him and buried her face in his chest.
"Constance, please," he said, affectionately, holding her, "What is it? What do you know?"
"It's me, I needed to talk to you." She said in a small voice. "The Queen said I could use this room."
D'Artagnan waited patiently, one of his hands stroking her hair. Though he was quiet Constance felt his heart beat faster with nervousness, waiting for her to explain. Constance took a deep breath and squeezed her eyes shut.
"I'm pregnant." She said in a barely audible whisper.
She held her breath waiting for his joy, his elation, but that wasn't what she got. In its place she felt D'Artagnan's chest vibrate with what could only be laughter. Constance pulled away in disbelief to stare at him.
"Why are you laughing?" She demanded, confused. He laughed again, a heartfelt, yet soft sound and took both her hands and kissed them.
"Because I'm happy," He said with a smile, and then he took in her expression. "Why aren't you?"
"I knew this would happen, I knew you'd be elated." She pulled her hands out of his and tried to turn away, but he caught her arm. His delight was now replaced with trepidation.
"Explain to me then, why…?" Then it dawned on him and his expression became kind and soft. "Is what's worrying you the same thing as when you refused to leave Bonacieux? That if something were to happen to me you'd have nothing?"
"Yes," Constance said, hesitantly. D'Artagnan cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.
"Things could not be more different now, Constance," he murmured. "You're my wife now, you'd get my money and my pension, and do you really believe that you'd be abandoned? You wouldn't be alone. Aramis wouldn't allow it, neither would the Queen. This isn't like last time."
Constance shook he head and smiled. "You're right, I'm just being silly," she said. But still Constance couldn't be as happy as D'Artagnan wished her to be, something that was plain for him to see.
"You're still worried." He placed his fingers under her chin. "Please talk to me." Constance shifted uncomfortably, thinking about how to phrase her next words.
"I'm scared." She said, simply.
"Of what?" D'Artagnan asked. She rolled her eyes at him and laughed - something he'd been waiting to hear ever since this morning. Then it occurred to him. "Oh! Well, yes, I suppose that is scary, but there's doctors and -"
"And Anne offered her own medical professionals." Constance interjected.
"Then there you go. You'll be in the best hands." D'Artagnan hugged her again. "Can we be excited yet?" he asked sarcastically. Constance shoved his chest playfully, but then pulled herself up to kiss him.
"Yes, I suppose we can," She said, beaming, and D'Artagnan lifted her and spun her round. He put her down then stepped away, looking slightly nauseous.
"Are you okay?" Constance asked, warily. D'Artagnan had slumped into one of the chairs in the room and had a hand to his face.
"D'Artagnan?" She knelt next to him and tried to get his attention. "What's going on?"
"Nothing, I just," he took a deep breath and then let out a disbelieving laugh. "I can't believe I'm going to be a father."
Constance stood with a smile, settled herself on his knee and he wrapped his arms around her. The pair sat in a contented silence for a time before D'Artagnan spoke.
"We're going to be fine." He said.
"Yes, we will be." Constance replied. He kissed her hair and they sat together for a while longer, discussing how amazing their life was going to be.