Retracing The Steps

by DarlingHarleyQuinn

Inspired by the book "Just Listen" by Sarah Dessen, I hope to tell the story of putting the pieces together. Maya, moving in with her boyfriend, Mark, starts a new life. To her, the new apartment represents a new home, a new beginning, an escape. But, as she tells him the story will she try running further from what's real or finally put it all together and find who she is today?

1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

I look out the window as I hear a car approaching. The tenth car to pass in the last hour and finally I see the shiny black of the 2010 Ford Escape I've been waiting for. I casually turn towards my bed- THE bed, no longer mine- and tenderly look at my older sister. From the bed she reaches out to grab my hand and lifts herself up. We each take the two bags at the floor, never dropping each others hands, and head down stairs. Not a single word uttered.

"Mom, Dad, Mark is here". I announce at my presence and departure.

My mother rushes over to me and gives me a hug forcing me to break hold with my sister, Amber. Amber runs over to the rest of my bags and begins taking them to the car. My father stands aside, waiting for my mother to finish bawling her eyes out, and hugs me gently before standing back and nodding once. I remind them once that I'm only headed to college, that I'll be back for holidays and the summer. But I cry a little too. At the thought of coming back to this home, a ball the size of a fist forms in my throat and the tears flow like the river I used fish at with the family.

I never want to come back to this house.

When the water works are over Amber comes back in. She has always been one for the concealment of emotions. Because of this, whenever she speaks her words stream reality. Those around her better believe that when she speaks, she's declaring something of importance. Her actions always speak louder than her quiet voice but both are weaker than a picture. Pictures may be worth a thousand words but they could never add up to anything that Amber can display. Less than 2 years apart in age, I know this better than anyone. Months ago, I was the only one who could tell that something was wrong.

I start towards the door. I look back at the kitchen, the cake and plates still left out, the banner above it all reading "Good Luck, Maya". I'll need it, I think to myself before looking back to blow my family a kiss. I step outside the door and leisurely start the trek across the street. With what little energy I have, the walk feels as though I'm crossing a desert. And what lies on the other side, I have no idea.

Once I reach the other side, I look across the street at a house I used to know. It's strange; a family I knew used to live there and while that family is mine, we're much different now. We're not the same- or at least I'm not. As the browning leaves fall towards the ground in crazy spirals with the wind, those walking on the street in hooded jackets can feel the change. But I'll wonder who knows what went on in that white house, now browning at the edges as dirt brushes up against it. I'll wonder for the rest of my years but I'll never reveal the secrets to anyone other than Mark.

The car horn blows as Mark, my current boyfriend, pulls me out of my thoughts. I climb in the car, speechless and mourning, and take my seat next to Mark after throwing my last bag in the back. He grabs my hand and the ride begins in silence. I watch the house go by in a white blur and let the last tear drop onto our hands. Hopefully it'll be the last for a while.