Astrid didn't deserve to die, Sam thought.
Of course, if he had a say in the Grand Scheme of Things, no one would have to die. No one but Drake.
He stared at her body, bloodied and broken, as she lay there, absolutely gone and drifting far off Somewhere, if Somewhere existed. Astrid would say Heaven, but Sam didn't believe in Heaven.
But if he did, he knew she would definitely be there.
Astrid, beautiful Astrid, with the blond hair and condescending tone and polysyllables that always escaped him. Dead. Gone. No way back.
Sam knew, had known for a long time, that if the occasion were ever to arise and something would happen and Astrid would be lost, he'd do everything he could to find her. To try to save her. Even if it meant putting her life before his, because, godammit, what was he worth? Absolutely nothing.
So there was no way to find her, now, because even if Heaven existed and that was where she was, he knew there was no way he'd ever get in. Not after the FAYZ, not after all that had happened since.
And now he knew, eyes resting on the shell that was once Astrid, that Heaven was simply too far away.