Disclaimer: Don't own Rurouni Kenshin.

Sanosuke was sitting at the beach just thinking. The moon was just about to set, it was really early. He hadn't gotten any sleep. He was thinking of the one he loved, the one who had haunted his sleep. He thought of him every night.

"Captain Sagara...."

He had lain down, the sand brushing through his hair. He probably needed to brush it, but he wouldn't care. Nothing mattered much anymore. Kenshin was even worrying about him; he was always depressed, never really happy. He just wished he could hold him, to at the least see Souzou Sagara for one last time...

Sanosuke shook his head, he knew that wouldn't be enough, it would never be enough. He shouldn't be dwelling on mindless thoughts. Sagara was dead, how can he possibly see him again?

He started thinking back to the time when he last saw his Captain.

flashback

He was in the middle of dragging his body, trying to find a rock. He MUST master this technique!

The ground all around him turned into a deep haze. There was a body in front of him. He looked up to see who it was despite the fact that he was see-thru. To his surprise, the person he saw was Sagara. Memories flooded back. Tears clouded his eyes.

Sagara had finished talking to him, telling him, that if he were to not finish his task, he would die. Telling him to give up and not risk his life. He wanted him to live.

Sanosuke ran to hug his Captain, instead he went right through. It sent a shiver down his spine, and made the hairs on the back of his neck and arms stand on end. This time he actually did cry. There was no way to hold it back.

"WHY!?" He wasn't even allowed to hug him. His Captain, his Leader... the only one he's ever loved. To see him, to only see him, had hurt him... Yet, he was denied the only chance he might have gotten for a real long time.

The flashback ended. He got to sleep soon after that, even though it felt like an eternity.

"Sagara, why?" Sanosuke whispered.

The tide was lowering, the wavers splashing against his feet would soon die down and the sun would brighten everything. For now, it had turned the sea and the areas around it a blood red.

He sat up. A slight breeze came by, making his hair and bandanna sway behind him. He had taken his gi with the symbol for "bad" off, relaxing in the nice spring day.

Sano-kun still couldn't help but think of Sagara. He imagined him sitting next to him, hand in hand. Then he imagined a breeze going by again and watch the flutteryness of his hair swaying in the wind.

The bushes began to rustle. Sano didn't care much for what was back there, so he lazily said, "Who comes here?"

There was no answer. Instead a little squirrel came out from the bushes. It had climbed right over to Sanosuke.

He picked the squirrel up, "Why, hello there little one, are you lonely too?" The squirrel made a little chirp as if to say yes.

Sanosuke was talking to the squirrel; at least his mind was off of Sagara.

"I shall name you Shimoni." The squirrel seemed to like this name, for it then climbed up to Sanosuke's shoulder.

A while went by. They were just lying on the beach enjoying the warmth from the newly risen sun.

"We better be going now. It's about time for breakfast." The squirrel chirped and followed its new friend as he went off to the dojo.

Kenshin and Kaoru were bickering as always, and Yahiko was over in a corner training.

Kaoru then seemed to notice Sanosuke had come back.

"Sanosuke! Where were you? It's time that you start doing some work around here! And why do you have that hideous rodent?!" She was pointing to Shimoni.

"This is Shimoni. She will be staying with me."

Kaoru grew mad, "How do you even know it's a she? And why did you name that squirrel!?!" She looked like she was about to burst.

Kenshin put a hand on Kaoru's shoulder and whispered, "Look. He's happier for a change, let him be."

Kaoru sighed and looked at Kenshin. He shook his head and watched Kaoru walk off to the dojo.

"I'm gonna go back to my house, I need some sleep." Sanosuke yawned.

"That sounds like a good idea, that it does. I'll help Kaoru make some lunch when you wake up."

Sanosuke nodded and went off. When he got to his house, he looked into his mirror.

'Wow. I haven't realized how tired I look!' He had giant bags under his eyes and his hair was hanging down now instead of sticking up.

"Here, you can sleep here." Sano started making a little bed out of some papers. Shimoni chirped and laid down, cuddling into a little ball.

Sanosuke was a complete mess. He was constantly thinking of Sagara and he hadn't gotten any sleep in so many days.

He laid down in his bed and fell asleep almost instantly. Sanosuke started to dream.

There was mysterious fog drifting around the place he stood. He stood about a forest. The bushes nearby started rustling.

Sanosuke jumped, "Who are you?!"

Sagara appeared in front of him. "Sano-chan..."

His eyes started to glisten with unshed tears. "Sagara..." he whispered quietly for no one to hear.

"You have been getting worse as the days go on, Sano-chan. I am dead. You can't see me! Please, I want you to be happy, find someone else!"

"NO! I can't do that! I'm sorry..." Sanosuke's words trailed off.

Sagara disappeared as the fog got thicker. Sano fell onto his knees. The world started spinning, everything got blurry.

He closed his eyes, letting tears run down his cheeks. Once he opened them up again, he was back in the forest. The forest where he last saw his Captain, where the Sakihotai met its end.

Sanosuke watched the scene going before him. His younger self was sitting at the edge of the cliff where Sagara pushed him off to save him.

"You have betrayed the government, spreading false information to the people. You must die!" A guard yelled at them.

Sanosuke's eyes went wide, he didn't want to see this again. It was too painful!

He heard a gun shot accompanied by many others. Sagara... was... dead.

Little Sanosuke was crying, tears falling from his eyes. "SAGARA!!!!"

The scene was blurry as he watched little Sanosuke holing Sagara, holding him in is arms.

He sat up in his bed, screaming. His vision was still blurry.

Someone took a cloth and wiped his eyes. His vision got better. 'I couldn't see because of the tears!'

He wiped his own eyes with his sleeve and looked up to see who was there.

It was the red head. His blue eyes scanning his own. His deep blue eyes were mesmerizing, full of concern and... love?

'Why would Kenshin like me? He gets all those girls... and yet he's gay. His eyes can be so sad sometimes, did something happen to him when he was younger, something he regrets?'

"Kenshin..." Sanosuke had sorrow in his voice with a hint of worry.

Kenshin blushed, "You were screaming, so I came to see if you were okay. You kept saying Sagara."

"Kenshin! Where did you go?!" Kaoru was yelling.

"Bye." Sanosuke whispered. Kenshin just smiled and walked away.

"Kenshin, why do you do this to me? I'm always depressed, ever since Sagara died. But... when I see you, it seems to go away. Kenshin... I think... I love you."

The squirrel chirped at him, wondering what he was talking about. It tilted it's head as Sanosuke went to pet it.

Shimoni seemed to purr when he petted it.

"I still have to find out if you're a girl or a boy..." Sanosuke was talking to the squirrel.

Shimoni rolled over as if saying 'please pet my stomach.' Sanosuke understood and started scratching its belly.

"Wait... you must be a girl." Sano noticed.

The squirrel chirped, as if she was offended. Sanosuke chuckled.

Kenshin walked back into the room. Sanosuke couldn't help but stare.