published - 16 october 2015
(attempted) editing - 30 june 2018
Russian translation by/on GoldBeata's account (do not know if they have finished it)
In love stories, a man will always chase after the love of his life. He'll always grip her wrist in desperation, haste- and beg forgiveness, beg for love. Maybe subconsciously, that's what she wants, what she needs. Perhaps she won't be able to handle her fragile emotions if he doesn't love her back, or he's too scared to follow. Maybe, it takes too much for her to not run away as fast as she can, or restrain herself from breaking something with her bare hands (maybe her own heart, before he does); to keep the tears from falling down her face. For Lucy Heartfilia, it is everything, using all her effort to not look back. In simplicity, she needs him. She loves him. That can't be a fault, can it? She loves everything about him, from his ridiculous pink hair, to his heart-melting smile. Yet, he doesn't love her back. After all, when someone says "I love you." and you don't return the phrase...
"I love you," she whispered…
And he didn't reply.
She couldn't take it.
"Damn, Natsu! Is it that hard to say 'I love you' back! You can lie, goddammit! You can lie and pretend, but please just say it!"
He hadn't answered to that either.
But she wanted him to—needed him to. More than anything.
But now, at this moment… she just wants him to follow her, whether he utters any words at all. She just wants him to grab onto her arm, spin her around and capture her lips with a kiss. That's what happens in the books, in the love stories. Perhaps she has fantasized about love too long, for it was never meant for her. And she has to bite her lip from crying out loud. Those were just books, make believe. Things like that don't happen in real life. She just wants to curl up and burst into tears. But she doesn't. And she keeps walking at a steady pace… because she knows, if she turns around… if she turns around and glances back for just a second…
All that will be waiting for her there…
Is a solemn gravestone.
His gravestone; one that can't chase after her.