First try at fanfic
"Break Me"
Setting: a few days before Harry's birthday...late July
My name is Ginny Weasley, and I am still in love with Harry Potter.
I know he broke up with me, and I know he and my brother and Hermione have some Important, Top-Secret Things to Do. Life-threatening things that he wants to protect me from. I am still, however, madly, desperately, unconditionally, head-over-heels in love with him.
I know why he did it. He wants to keep me safe, and I understand that, truly I do. Which is why it's so hard to do what I'm planning.
His birthday is coming up soon. Number seventeen...an important milestone. And I know what I want to give him. It will break me, though.
It will break me to kiss him and know that he isn't mine. It will cut like a thousand shards of glass in my chest that he doesn't belong to me...and yet I still want to give him my affection, passion, lust, and most importantly, my love.
Kissing Harry is like soaring on my broom...well, maybe more like flying Harry's Firebolt to be exact. It's exhilarating and my stomach swoops and I tingle everywhere with adrenaline. I feel the same way when we kiss and touch. Wait, stop, there is no "we." Not anymore.
That thought is just a symptom of the inevitable decision I'm racing toward. I want to give him one last kiss. To remember me by. And maybe, I hope in the deepest corner of my heart, to give him someone to come back for.
I have to face the reality that he might not come back. He may die doing all the Important and Top-Secret Things that are required for him to save the world...again.
If he dies, I'll break even more. But here's the grain of rice that tips the scale on my decision: I've been broken before. I've felt the wrenching pain of Tom Riddle possessing me, like getting cut with a knife over and over until the pain engulfs my body and spirit. So I can handle the lesser breaking-pain of giving my heart to Harry with no guarantee of a future with him. It's worth it to give that to him. He's worth it.
I've made up my mind. Nothing will stop me, not even Hermione's well-intentioned cautions against any romantic interaction with him. I will give him one last memory of me that is good and happy and loving. I will break me, heart and mind, but I think I'm strong enough.