I love Jo Dee Messina. Her song 'Stand Beside Me' isn't necessarily a favourite, but I still know all the words. I think this is a scene Makoto would need, just to put it behind her, and the song provided the inspriation for the plot. So really I don't own anything here, I just put it together.
She sighed, looking down at her griddle in bemusement. It had been ten years. Ten years to the fucking day. Though she didn't expect him to know that.
She'd only been a child then, really. Still young and innocent. He had seemed to be everything she wanted and more. A suave, intelligent, handsome young man. And she had been yet another starry eyed young girl chasing after him. She was actually surprised that he recognized her.
Ten years had changed her somehow both stocky and lanky build into a body she was proud of. Her curves were feminine, while still displaying her strength and fitness to the world. Her height was still remarkable, but now it was accompanied with grace, instead of slouching. Her face had lost its gauntness and her mouth showed an unconscious smile. Nothing like the haunted, hollowed look she wore before she knew her worth.
Her hair was still the same rich colour, and her eyes still a startling green. However, others who had known her previous to her transfer to Juuban hadn't recognized her. Just last week she'd had a good laugh at one of the boys who bullied her trying to pick her up.
This man before her had been her hope of a good life. She'd pinned all her dreams on him. In fact, she'd spent so much time pining for him that it took her years to stop comparing every man she knew to him.
It had taken her ten years.
Now she didn't know what to think. He was suddenly here, suddenly interested, and for the first time since she'd met him she wasn't. Didn't that beat all?
She'd moved three times since she'd known him. Each had been a step up in comfort, as her diligence at both part-time jobs she had paid off. She'd put herself through high school, then vocational school, while working towards the head chef position at the small restaurant down the street.
Yet, in the back of her mind, some niggling doubt had said she still wasn't enough. If she had been, he wouldn't have turned her away. He would have loved her. She would have deserved his love.
"You know, I think I've compared every man I've ever been interested in to you. Looks, actions, words, all it took was for a guy to remind me of you to make me interested in him." She levelled a glare at him. "So I consider it partially your fault that I've dated so many losers in my life."
She ignored his spluttered protests. "All the fools who tried to protect me from life, smothering me with their desperate affection. They were the ones I thought could give me what you wouldn't. None of them worked out. I'm too much for them to contain, hard as they'd try.
"The others used to do the opposite. They'd push me right out in the open and force me to fight things out myself. They had two goals. Half wanted to have a girl who could look after them, and the others wanted me to come crawling back. I didn't give either group the satisfaction."
Her eyes returned to the grill, flipping the food and readying everything for the next step. She gave no indication that she even noticed his unnerved fidgeting. Finally he had to break the silence.
"So what does that mean? For us, I mean." He tried not to betray his nervousness, and failed.
"Hmm?" She replied distractedly. "Us what? 'We' were only a figment of my imagination. A childish fantasy."
She turned her full attention to him, causing him to draw back from the power in her gaze. "You don't want me. You want a talented piece of arm candy. Someone you can stand in front of when it makes you feel manly and behind when you can't be bothered to put in more effort than that.
"I don't want you. There is no us and never will be. I want a man that stands beside me."
She resumed ignoring him, having finally laid her past to rest. She started humming as she considered what her future would hold now that she'd jumped that hurdle. It was an intoxicating thought, that one day she could find a real man to stand beside her. She'd just have to start looking.