I do not own Merlin.
Sorry
By waterrain
"I'm sorry." Arthur said calmly when Merlin entered inside of his chambers. He noticed his manservant's blood shot eyes, tear stained cheeks, and Merlin looked at him briefly before looking away.
"You don't have anything to be sorry about Arthur." Merlin said quietly to him.
"I was not going to have him killed." Arthur informed him.
"Because you knew he would kill himself." Merlin commented while rubbing his eyes and took a deep breath. "I know this is going to sound terrible, but if I had known this was going to happen then I would have wished that he had stayed dead. When he first died it was very painful and heart breaking. I also felt guilty for it should have been me to sacrifice myself, but he got there before me."
"Merlin."
"I wished that he would somehow return for a couple of days, but stopped wishing for it was impossible for him to return."
"It is not your fault, Merlin. Anyone who has lost someone would wish for the exact same thing."
"If he had not returned then none of this would have happened. You would have been married and your heart wouldn't be broken. If only he had not returned and I know you are wishing that too." Merlin said quietly, tears slowly falling down his cheeks, and he closed his eyes. "When he first died he was considered a hero, but now he is considered a traitor. It would have been better if he stayed dead. When he returned he was not like himself at all."
"Merlin."
"He will be remembered as a traitor not as the man that willing sacrificed himself to save everyone." Merlin commented out loud and he took a deep breath. "People will remember him as The Traitor."
Arthur sighed heavily to himself and he gave Merlin a tight hug.
"Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. I'm sorry for your losses. I had to banish her for I couldn't bear to see her face. I will one day forgive her, but I will never be able to trust her." Arthur said to him and Merlin looked at him. "I might un-banish her at some point, but not now for the blows dealt to my heart are too raw."
"I'm sorry, Arthur."
"No need to be sorry, Merlin. It is not your fault." Arthur told him and pat him on the shoulder. "Tears do not solve anything so stop crying."
"Well, Sire that is a slight step up from saying no man is worth your tears."
Merlin and Arthur were unable to say the names 'Gwen' and 'Lancelot'. Arthur did not tell Merlin that it pained him to see him shedding tears and Merlin did not tell Arthur that Lancelot had been cruelly brought back to life because of Morgana.
Please Review and Thank You ^_^