It was a gorgeous day.

The sun was shining, the wind was blowing gently; there was hardly a cloud in the sky. It was warm enough to wear a short sleeve shirt, but cool enough to need a light jacket when going outside. The sky was blue, birds were singing...

And a man was being speared.

Blood dripped onto the pavement and the one who was doing the spearing let out a small breath of contentment as the warm, crimson liquid dripped down his katanas.

The (live) man drew his swords out of the body and let out another sigh, shaking his head and tsking a little.

"You should have given me the fucking name of your boss Amigo. Then you wouldn't have been turned into a fucking kabob in the middle of the street." The man let out a bark of a laugh as his phone began to ring, blaring Barbie Girl as his ringtone. He went into his pocket and pulled out his flip phone.

"Ya got Wade, killing machine and total badass speaking. Oh shit, I meant: Ya got Deadpool, killing machine and total badass speaking."

Whoever was on the other line gave a long, obviously annoyed sigh. "Wilson, you have to stop letting people know of your identity!" Steve Rogers, aka Captain America, aka total kiss ass said, his voice tight with annoyance and stress.

"Or what Captain Eagle?"

Wade, or Deadpool, responded sassily, his voice holding a teasing manner. Steve exhaled angrily.

"Or we'll have to remove you from the team and you'll be put in federal prison!"

"Ooh, handcuffs and threats? Steve, you know I love it when you talk dirty to me."

"Wade!"

Wade let out a small laugh, knowing that Steve was likely to be blushing. He lived making the S.H.E.I.L.D kiss ass uncomfortable. "Relax Cap, you're not my type. Though your body says otherwise..." Wade trailed off, imagining the one time he saw Steve without a shirt on. "Mm, yummy. Hey, got anything planned tonight?" Wade could practically feel Steve's blush. "Look, just do your job okay? Here's your target."

Sreve relayed the information to the Merc with a Mouth and Wade nodded when he was finished. "You got it Stevie!" Steve exhaled deeply. "Wade, don't call me that." Steve mumbled. Wade laughed. "Steve, you didn't answer my question." Steve sighed again, and Wade wondered how he had any breath left in him.

"If you must know, I do not have any plans tonight."

Wade grinned underneath his tight, red leather suit. "Great, I'll pick you up at seven." Wade shut his phone, ending the call (of course before he could hear Steve's protests); Wade picked up his katanas and started skipping, looking for a taxi to take him to his next target, whistling Sweet Home Alabama loudly.

What a great day indeed.

Hey guys! I updated twice in one week?! *GASP!* I know I know, but I came up with this (totally on accident tho. Funny how that works) today and I really wanted to post it because I showed it to some friends of mine and they were like "...this is good..." I actually have a part two to this if you wanna read it. (I'm gonna post it anyways, how fun is that?!) Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed, please let me know what you thought in the comments! (I'm gonna shut up now...)

Much love and stuff,

-ImmaSlytherout