A.N.: This is my first Invader Zim fic. Yes, it is a RAPR. I just think that they belong together. This is my disclaimer: I don't own anything. I used Jhonen Vasquez's characters and Shirley Jackson's HOHH for part of the plot. I'm not making money, so don't sue. I'm poor.
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Purple looked out of the window and sighed. It was the start of another long day, full of constant demands from the old high-ranking Irkin who was his boss (or master). "Purple, get in here. Take this tray away. Put me in my chair. You really are useless," Kejin, the old Irkin, yelled. Purple sighed and went into the bedroom where Kejin lay. He started to work again.
Purple's life was full of this. Yelling, put-downs, and reproaches were a way of life for him, as was unending despair. He had never been truly happy, that he could remember. He had long ago accepted that he never would be. He would continue to work for nothing but room and board, as he had for sixty years.
"This afternoon, we both need to go get Measured. It's required. Though the First Tallest knows you'd never get chosen Tallest. There will always be someone taller than you. Never forget that," Kejin said.
Purple just nodded, not really thinking about it. The most he'd ever thought about the late Tallest's death was wondering who would be the new Tallest. He never puffed himself up so much as to even imagine that it could ever be him.
Later that day, Purple pushed Kejin in his wheelchair down to the doctor's office, one of the local sights where the Measuring was taking place. There were Irkins of all sizes and descriptions there; some tall and some short, some skinny, others larger. Purple was head and shoulders above everyone else, however. Kejin glared at him for this, as though he had planned it on purpose. After sitting in the doctor's office for an hour and watching other Irkins come and go, they finally got called in.
They got taken to the doctor's office. One after the other, he hooked them up to the medical scanner, scanning them from head to tow. This way, they could get an exact height, down to the last millimeter (A.N.: if they use the metric system…). When they were done, they left the doctor's office with a friendly "If you're the Tallest, we'll let you know…" while staring at Purple, making him feel conspicuous. Kejin glared up at him again.
Over the next couple of days, Purple forgot about the Measuring. Amid unending weariness and small nagging guilts, he didn't imagine that he might actually be taller than anyone else. 'I might as well be the shortest,' was all that he thought about it before he got back to his usual work. Therefore, it came as a surprise when he herd the doorbell ringing. "Who could that be?" he wondered allowed as he went to answer the door. There was an Irkin around his own height with red eyes and casual clothing there.
"Hello," he said. "I take it you're Purple, considering the color of your eyes, and the fact that I can look at them without bending down."
"Um, w-who are you?" Purple asked, staring at this stranger.
"Oh, I'm Red. You know, the other tall guy," the stranger answered.
"Er, other tall guy?" Purple asked.
"Have you checked your mail lately?" Red asked.
"Um, no, I usually check it every other day. We don't get much mail," Purple answered.
"Oh, OK. Well, apparently, we're EXACTLY the same height. They don't know which one of us to declare the new Tallest." Red led Purple to the mail box (I'm kind of assuming, OK? Ever notice how similar their society is to ours?) "Ah, here it is. 'Dear Purple, You are taller than every other Irkin except Red. You two are the same height. Both of you will have to report to the Capital to decide who becomes the new tallest.' Cool, huh?" Red finished.
Purple's eyes got wide as saucers. "T-t-there must be some sort of mistake. I-I'm not that tall," he insisted. He was panicking slightly.
"Well, they specifically told me it was the Purple who lived with Senator Kejin. Is there another Purple living here?" Red asked.
"No," Purple answered timidly.
"Well then, there's definitely no mistake. So, you need to get down to the Capitol," Red said, dragging Purple out of the doorway and to a computer terminal.
"WAIT! What about my boss?" Purple cried.
"YOU'RE the boss now. Or, rather, we are. I have an apartment in the Capital. Why don't you just stay with me? Come on, Pur, I'll help you pack," Red said. 'Pur?' Purple thought as Red dragged him upstairs.
"Purple, WHAT'S all that racket? Will you just SHUT UP?" Kejin yelled.
"You're boss, huh? He's not a nice guy, is he?" Red asked.
"Yes," Purple muttered. Red dragged him to Kejin's room.
"Hello, Senator Kejin. It looks like our Pur here might be Tallest. We both have to go to the Capital to decide which one of us gets the job," Red said. Kejin gave Purple a death glare.
"If you leave for even one day, you idiot, you can count yourself out of a job," he said. Red noticed a blush creeping up Purple's neck.
"But…I have to," Purple said.
"Whatever. Just get out of my sight," Kejin said. As Purple and Red left the room, Purple felt tears welling up in his eyes. 'Why did he have to do that in front of Red?' he wondered. He tried to hide the tears from Red as he led him to his bedroom.